


Fragile Hearts

by Kiaishi



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bad Parenting, Bullying, Depression, Drug Use, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, It gets more cannon after they grow up, M/M, Pedophilia, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Underage Prostitution, Viktor is 17, Violence, Yuri Yuuri and Viktor are roughly the same age, Yuri is 16, Yuuri is 16, au high school, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-20 17:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 56,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9503177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiaishi/pseuds/Kiaishi
Summary: The foreigner that came into their class so suddenly was lying on the ground and cowering with fear. No doubt he was having a panic attack.But nobody did anything to help him. Instead, they all hit him, they all kicked him even though he was already on the ground.And Viktor watched them do it.As long as Viktor didn't resort to physical violence, it was fine.Yuuri would just switch schools, like everyone else did....right?But it wasn't that simple and Viktor came to learn it the hard way.





	1. A Shadow of a Man

**Author's Note:**

> This is a vent fiction, so don't expect it to be all rainbows and sunshine. I will try to aim for a happy ending, but don't expect too much.  
> Also, Viktor is kind of a jerk in this chapter, but don't hold it against him. He has his own struggles...  
> Also, Russia is very cruel. The students bully and hit others and sometimes videotape it. So this is not far from reality.

Yuuri had never been a bright teenager, even though to the outside world he might have seemed like it. He quietly forced himself to smile, he forced himself to be friendly to his classmates despite everything that they said and did to him and this in turn made his classmates bully him even more. It was the same every day, he would go to school, get bullied, try to focus on studying and fail, just to return to his secret job after school. He was too young for a job and the child services would have taken him into an orphanage if they found out....but Yuuri pushed through nonetheless and kept his mouth shut about his predicament. It's not like anyone could help him with that.  
  
He was working at a peculiar cafe that doubled as a brothel at night. The cafe was owned by a strict, but actually kind-hearted man named Yakov, who agreed to take Yuuri in and teach him to seduce people and to offer a special set of services. He was the first person Yuuri ever met who didn't care that he was homosexual, in fact, Yakov had instead said that he would be more profitable that way. Since that day, the raven-haired male saw the old man as a substitution for the family that had kicked him out because of his orientation. The family that had promised to stay by his side no matter what happened, the family who betrayed him and left him behind in Russia while they were on vacation. It was all still fresh within Yuuri's memory.  
  
Not only did they leave Yuuri lost in a foreign city without any language knowledge, but it also left him penniless and without a person to turn to. The hotel he stayed at had kicked him out as soon as they found out that he couldn't pay for another night and Yuuri was forced onto the street. He tried to beg people for some money to get food, but he didn't speak any Russian at all, so people just ignored the foreigner who sat near a building with an outstretched hand. It was an understatement to say that Yuuri was depressed. It was an understatement to say that he doubted his will to live. If fact, he was already about to throw in the towel and head for the nearest road to get hit by the a car and hopefully die in the process, when an old man spoke to him, in English this time.  
  
It was truly a miracle to meet Yakov, have the man offer him a job and help him learn Russian. The Japanese male was still bad at it, but at least he could communicate and understand what others said. Besides, some of his clients found it more attractive that he was a foreigner, for some reason. But as long as they paid up, Yuuri wouldn't question that.  
  
The only problem about the language barrier was school. From the moment he arrived at school, everybody looked at him in disgust. Not only was he looking like a nerd, he was speaking in broken sentences, which made the other students heckle at him and mock him for it. But honestly the worst thing that happened to him in school was the clique of students led by Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor was an overly attractive, smart and famous heir of a wealthy family who funded most of the schools expenses. Thus, whenever it was Viktor or his friends bullying Yuuri, they could get away with everything. After all, the teachers didn't want to get in trouble with the powerful family, so they took sides with Viktor.  
  
So today, like always, Yuuri knew that his day would be hell when he stepped into the classroom and saw a red-haired student poke Viktor's arm and point towards him. He already braced himself for what was to come. He saw Yuri Plisersky grin in sadistic glee, ready to get up and kick him again.  
  
“Hey, Viktor! Your favorite punching bag is here!”, the blond student laughed, expecting his friend to react somehow.  
  
And Viktor did, a smile curving his lips as he got up and approached the Japanese teen in the most beautiful and elegant way, his looks contradicting his words. “Yuuri, good morning! How is our lovely whore doing today?”  
  
Yuuri's blood froze. Whore? Did he say it as an insult or did he really know about the job? If he did...did he report him already? His anxiety rose as he worried about what was to come. If Viktor reported his job, he would be causing trouble for both Yakov and himself. And he didn't want the old man to suffer, not after everything that he did to help Yuuri.  
  
_You will be back on the streets in no time._  
  
_It was better for you to die back then, wasn't it?_  
  
_Now you are just a burden to everyone._  
  
_You always have been nothing but a burden, that's why your parents dumped you like yesterday's trash._  
  
His anxiety returned, but he forced a smile and shook his head as he tried to calm down.. “I have no idea what you are talking about, really...if you'll excuse me...”  
  
He just wanted to put all the thoughts on mute. His heartbeat sounded more like a hammer striking down, his skin burned and all the voices started to blur. He had to get away from the crowd, as quickly as he could. He knew he couldn't stand up for himself, he knew that no matter what he did, he was about to lose the battle.  
  
He took a step forward to move to his desk, just to be blocked by Viktor and his friends. The silver-haired male spoke up. “I am not done talking to you. It's not polite to walk away from a person who is talking to you, you know that?”  
  
“Yeah. Are all Japanese people as rude as you or are you just a jerk?”, Yuri Plisetsky huffed in anger.  
  
“Fine.”, Yuuri said, averting his gaze. “What do you want to talk about?”  
  
“Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if a ruble* is what you charge for a blow job.”, the silver-haired male said with a small grin, continuing on the whore insult. “Judging by how you look, you get a lot of _work_ done before breakfast.”  
  
“Dude, you really want a blow job from this garbage? You'll probably catch STDs just by looking at him.”, the red-haired friend laughed.  
  
Viktor smiled innocently and shook his head. “Don't worry. I am just supporting the poor.”  
  
“Hahaha, you're so nice, Viktor, caring for others.”, another person chimed in, everyone around making fake 'awe' sounds, as if it was a heart-warming moment.  
  
“...Move.”, the raven-haired male said, trying to force his panic aside, trying to push past the people blocking his way. He didn't want this any more. He didn't want to live in a world where everything seemed against him. He had always wanted to become an artist, but now all he had was the job at the brothel, which he could only do as long as he looked young. He had no future as he was now...that was the end of the road.  
  
The image of the empty hotel room flashed back into his mind, the only thing he had left were one set of clothing, his cell phone and passport. He had nobody to rely on.  
  
_I don't want to lose Yakov, too._  
  
_And Mila, she is like my mother now._  
  
_I finally found some stability, why is it slipping away again?_  
  
“Dude, is he crying?”, one of Viktor's friends asked, laughing at that.  
  
Another friend moved to grab Yuuri by his wrist and hold him in place, just so Viktor could snap a picture of Yuuri's crying face with his phone. The silver-haired male smirked at that and shook his head. “That won't do, Yuuri. You should look at the camera.”  
  
After he said that, another person moved to grab the Japanese male by the hair, tugging at it until he was forced to look at the older Russian as he snapped pictures of his breakdown.  
  
The Japanese male struggled against the grip on his wrist and on his hair, trying to get away, but only hurting himself in the process. He was trapped, there was no way he could take on three teens all by himself. He spat at Yuri Plisetsky, who held his wrist, finally succeeding in getting one of his arms free to shove the teen who held his hair in a firm grip with his elbow. He succeeded in getting him off, too, but lost a few strands of hair in the progress, his scalp aching with a pulsating pain. He just wanted to escape now, skip school for a day and cool down a little...but there was still one teen who held his other arm in a death grip, not letting go.  
  
And the teens whom he fought did not take kindly to his advance, Yuri Plisetsky now approaching him with a furious look. The blond swung his leg around, landing a swift kick to the raven-haired male's gut, knocking the air out of him and sending him flying backwards, Yuuri's glasses sliding off and falling onto the ground.  
  
And the blond teen stepped on them, shattering the glasses with the heel of his boot. “You fucking spat on me, you pig.” The Russian Yuri was furious, digging the heel of the boot that just crushed the raven-haired male's glasses to pieces down onto Yuuri's face, the tiny splinters of glass burying themselves into the pale skin of Yuuri's cheek. “Apologize!”  
  
“I'm..sorry...”, the Japanese male said, crying freely. _Please, just let it end. God, just make him end my life._ “Please, forgive me...”  
  
It was truly pathetic, how he laid on the ground, unable to see clearly without his glasses, the blur of the world as tears stung his eyes not helping either. He just saw blurred colors as pain washed over him in waves, one kick being delivered after the other. Surprisingly though, he didn't see any blurs of silver from above him. Viktor never participated in beating him up, never shown any signs of violence at all.  
  
Still, it was all enough to break Yuuri. He just wanted to pass out and just let the teens kick him to death, his screams and sobs seemingly mingled with the laughter of the teens who kicked him, both dissolving into white noise, a buzzing in Yuuri's ears. The younger male covered his face to reduce the impact of the blows to his head, curling up into a ball as every single one of his limbs started to ache. However, just as his head started to feel fuzzy and his vision darkened, a stern voice resounded through the room.  
  
“Enough.”, Viktor barked. “The teacher is about to come in any moment now.”  
  
Yuri Plisetsky halted his kicking and turned to Viktor. “What the fuck does it matter to you? We never get punished, you know that.”  
  
“Are you questioning an order I gave?”, Viktor replied with a question of his own. “Don't test my patience and get the fuck away from him. Tomorrow is another day.”  
  
As the silver-haired male said that everyone nodded and reluctantly stepped away from the raven-haired teen. He looked horrible, to be frank. His clothes were disheveled and dirty, his cheek was covered in cuts and bled and no doubt, under the sweater that the younger male was wearing, bruises were just waiting to form.  
  
And he didn't dare to move yet, trembling and cowering in fear as he just laid there, covering his head. He's had enough. He decided he would focus on work for now, leaving school for a while. He just couldn't face the people any more. He was afraid of everyone, he was scared to be near anyone, because it seemed that everything and everyone was out to get him. Everyone wanted to hurt him, emotionally and physically and the worst thing was..they actually succeeded.  
  
“Look at that drama queen”, Yuri said, clicking his tongue. “Acting like he can't get up.”  
  
“Yeah. What a waste of oxygen.”  
  
The teacher entered the class and sighed upon the sight of Yuuri cowering on the ground. He grabbed the younger male's wrist and tried to gently pull him up. “Come on. Class is now starting. Get on to your seat...”  
  
Yuuri's eyes were wide open but he couldn't see anything, he couldn't hear anything. What was happening? Was he dead already? If so, why did he still feel hands on him? He didn't want to be held down any more. He didn't want the pain to continue.  
  
“Please...let me go..”, he begged, trembling in fear. “Please...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.”  
  
He just had to apologize for struggling and fighting back, right? If he had shown less resistance, they wouldn't hurt him as much...  
  
“Yuuri Katsuki.”, the teacher said in a stern voice. “Wake up already. I will get you to the nurse's office. Everyone, open your books to page 261 and get your homework out. When I return, I want to see everyone's homework.”  
  
He practically dragged the panicking teen along, since Yuuri couldn't even walk on his own, just apologizing over and over to the teacher who pulled him along. What for, the teacher was not sure. He just wanted to get this over with. Every teacher felt bad for the Japanese male, but since the headmaster gave them strict orders not to pursue Viktor or his friends for their actions, so nobody could do anything about it.  
  
The teacher that was currently dragging Yuuri along was Georgi Popovich, the Chemistry teacher. He tried to make Yuuri push through and cared about the teen a lot, trying to integrate him into the class by giving him extra lessons in Russian and by praising him for his homework and the good grades that he got in Chemistry. He was unaware however, that the fact that Yuuri was smart has made him even more attractive as a victim of bullying. Well, at least he tried, right?  
  
They finally reached the nurse's office and the nurse already knew who was about to come in. There was only one student who came in when it wasn't vaccine time**. “Katsuki Yuuri...what is it this time?”, she asked, tapping her pen on the desk.  
  
“He seems to have a nervous breakdown...I don't know what to do.”, the teacher admitted, helping Yuuri into a sitting position.  
  
In turn, the student just curled up into a ball and muttered even more apologies. He apologized to his parents for disappointing them, to his dog Vicchan who was now left with his parents and probably forgot him already...to Yakov, just in case his reputation would go down after the rumors spread that he had an underage employee.  
  
“You know, Georgi..”, the nurse sighed, looking at the Japanese male who was trembling uncontrollably and clawing at his own skin. “rather than bringing him here and letting me pump some sedatives into his veins, why don't you try looking for a different school for the boy? A school where the teachers aren't pussies who let their students get bullied.”  
  
“What's the guarantee that he won't be bullied there?”, the teacher sighed and turned to take his leave.  
  
The nurse frowned. “Exactly what I'm talking about. What is the guarantee that he _will_ be bullied at another school?”  
  
“Take care of him please.”, Georgi said and left the room, heading to class.  
  
Viktor was scrolling through the social media posts absent-mindedly. He knew that the teacher wouldn't dare to say anything against him using his phone in class, after all, nobody dared to do so. He looked bored on the outside, but on the inside his mind was full of questions. His father had always told him to do the thing that would get him popular with the masses, even if it meant ignoring the well-being of a single person. But when he had seen Yuuri tremble in fear, begging everyone to stop...when he saw the teen's pride crumble like that and make him apologize for things he wasn't guilty of... he wondered if his father was in the wrong here. As he studied the picture he had just taken of Yuuri's crying face, the voice of his father rang in his ears.  
  
_“Vitya. If you want to be a doctor, you have to get the people on your side. They will come to you, no matter what you charge for the treatment.”_  
  
_“But I don't want to be a doctor...I wanted to be an actor.”_  
  
_“Surely you jest. Just know that your mother and I worked hard so you would be fit to enroll into medical university._ ”  
  
They worked hard, sure...but the Russian didn't care. He hated Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Math. He was good at them because his father forced him to, but he didn't want to become like his father. The picture that he took of Yuuri...it reminded him of what little conscience was left inside of him. It reminded him that he still could turn around and had to turn around. He could still be human...  
  
_“Popularity and connections are everything in this world.”_  
  
Yuuri had neither of those things. Did it mean he was doomed to die? Even if Yuuri would leave, there would be a new target. There always was. No matter how many victims left, new were bound to come. All because the teens were having so many anger management issues, especially Yuri, who was pissed that a foreigner with the same name appeared and beat him in every subject. He was Asian, so that was probably just normal, everyone would say. But the envy of the blond never subsided.  
  
He wished he would stop being a coward and hide behind his father, in the man's shadow. He wished he could just tell his father that he would become an actor, tell Yuuri that he was sorry for even implying that he was a whore. It was simply the most humiliating thing he could think of calling the younger male. He wished he could help Yuuri. As if the younger would ever accept the help of someone who was the cause of his suffering. Why couldn't he be stronger? Why couldn't he go against the masses and protect the people who needed to be protected?  
  
He lowered his gaze to pretend like he was reading the page that the teacher told them to read, but he couldn't help but worry about Yuuri. He looked so scared and panicked. He looked so broken...  
  
_Why do I care?_  
  
_He will probably leave soon._  
  
_Everyone else changed schools, so Yuuri would be no different._  
  
_Just entertain your audience a little longer._  
  
_It's not like you are hurting him physically._  
  
Viktor managed to convince himself that it was alright. He was alright as long as he didn't lay a single finger on the victims. He was alright as long as he did as his father said. He was fine as long as he just pushed away his wishes and focused on studying and pleasing others. If he thought about it that way...honestly, he was no different from a whore.

* * *

  
  
Yuuri wasn't sure how he found his way back to the cafe that doubled as his shelter for the night. Without his glasses, it was a miracle that he didn't bump into people or get ran over by a car. It was an even greater miracle that he got onto the right tram and got off at the right stop. When he did arrive though, he was greeted by a very distressed Yakov.  
  
“Yuuri. Where are your glasses?”, the man asked.  
  
By the tone in his voice, the teen knew something was up. He knew that something worse than him losing his glasses happened, but Yakov was too afraid to say it yet.  
  
“Ah, I lost them...I will just pop in my contacts for tonight's job as usual. So don't worry.”, he reassured the old man, forcing a sweet smile. He wanted to make Yakov worry less about him...  
  
“What happened to your cheek? Were you forced into something, Yuuri?”, the stern voice never let up, suspicion lacing every word.  
  
“No, no! I just fell down!”, he quickly lied, flailing his arms.  
  
Yakov sighed, aggravated. “Someone must have done something. Your bookings for tonight have all been canceled. A rumor is going around that an Asian employee of mine has an STD. The rumor also states that this employee is a student.”  
  
“ _Dude, you might get STDs by just looking at him.”_  
  
“I'm just helping the poor!”  
  
The words echoed in his head as he stood there and stared at he Russian male in shock. He stared at the old man, wide-eyed.  There was no doubt about it, one of the classmates must have forwarded it to their father and they were or knew a client of his. Rumors spread quickly. Shit...he truly messed up this time. It was his fault for getting noticed, right? His fault for not being more secretive.... He still stared at the older male, tears streaming down his face. He wanted to apologize, but his voice caught in his throat. He didn't even realize that he started crying, not until Yakov had spoken to him again.  
  
“Yuuri. Please tell me what happened today.”, he asked. “You're crying, for God's sake.”  
  
The Japanese male blinked a few times, breaking down into nervous laughter to try and force his tears back down. “H-Huh? I'm crying?”, he repeated, shaking his head. “I'm okay. P-Probably just something in my eye.”  
  
If he lied to himself often enough, he just might believe that lie. Just tell himself that it's all a bad dream....tomorrow, he would just wake up and continue life as usual...right?  
  
_I'm okay,_  
  
_I'm okay._  
  
_I'm okay....right?_  
  
_Nothing was okay and it never would be._  
  
He realized that now he had no money, no way of earning it and nobody he wanted to fall back onto. He could ask Yakov to help him, but he would only burden the old man. He had nothing to give Yakov in return for his help...  
  
“I'm going out for a bit, Yakov.”, he said, leaving the building again before the old man could say anything. He left with quick steps, running as he saw a tram pull over. As the old man hurried after Yuri and went out, he saw the Japanese male get onto the tram, driving off to god knows where...  
  
Yakov has come to care for the teen, he was always proud when Yuuri would tell him about the good grades he got, about his nice teacher who helped him study...but the old man always knew that something wasn't right. Yuuri never spoke to him about other students, he never brought any friends home or use his phone for anything other than games and his instagram where he posted the drawings that he made whenever he had the time.  
  
It wasn't that Yuuri was an anti-social person despite his depressions, so what gives? Why wasn't he ever with friends? He was shy, but had a kind heart and behind those thick glasses he actually looked good, so he should be swarmed by people dying to be his friend, right?  
  
Yakov impatiently paced on the street, wondering what to do. He couldn't call the police. If the police found out that he kept Yuri without adopting him, they would take him to the orphanage. Yuri also didn't mention anything about where he was about to go... and he didn't see the number of the tram, so he had no idea where the thing was headed.  
  
On top of that, he had to get back to his cafe because of the nightly opening hours...what would he do now? Should he just hope that Yuuri would return soon?  
  
“Damn it.”, he cursed. Why did he tell Yuuri about the situation while the Japanese male was still in the reception area? Why didn't he react faster?  
  
[9:00 pm]  
From: Yuuri Katsuki  
to: Toshiya Katsuki  
CC: Y. Feltsmann, M. Katsuki  
  
_Hello mom, dad, sister and Yakov._  
  
_I am sorry for contacting you all so late at night, especially you, my family. I promise I will not bother you with my presence again. I just wanted to say goodbye so you don't wonder where I am off to now. I believe that even if I go to hell for suicide, everything will be better than living in a world such as this. A world where no matter where you go, you are met with dead ends, a world where every promise that is made to you is broken._  
  
_I don't blame any of you. I don't want you to blame yourselves. Just know that I am thankful to all of you for taking care of me throughout the years. Thank you for picking me up from the street when I was 15, Yakov. Mom and dad...Thank you for your kind words up until I was 15. Sis, thank you for helping me find the passion of art that I pursued._  
  
_But I just can't do this any more. Every inhale hurts my lungs like they are on fire. Every heartbeat hammers in my head. Every second I live is a second too long._  
  
_Please don't think ill of me and remember me in my best moments. I love you all._  
  
_-Yuuri_  
  
As Yakov received the email, the teen was already on the railing of the bridge, closing his eyes as he let himself fall into the waters of the Neva river, the cold water filling his lungs as his body struggled to breathe underwater. However, Yuuri forced his limbs not to move despite knowing how to swim. He forced himself to embrace the cold, dark abyss as his body sank to the bottom of the river.  
  
There was no point any more.  
  
He had no job.  
  
He had no friends.  
  
He had no money for the tuition fee.  
  
Yuuri relaxed fully, letting out another breath, the bubbles rising to the surface as the teen's world grew black. He finally felt the relief wash over him, no more thoughts...no more fears...he was finally free.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *1 ruble = 0,016 us dollars (practically nothing)  
> **In Russian schools, vaccine is given out to the students by the school nurse so everyone gets it.


	2. A Broken Promise

Viktor was considered a happy child. His parents were rich, famous and powerful, he got everything that money could buy and everyone was nice to him, since nobody wanted to get in trouble with the powerful Nikiforov family. But Viktor never cared for any of it. He didn't want the money, he didn't want to be feared. He never wanted all the expensive gifts that his parents gave him. He simply wanted his family to accept him and love him as he was. He wanted them to see something else than a tool to expand their clinic. He just wanted to be an actor, he wanted to make people smile or cry, he wanted to make others feel again.  
  
But he soon realized that the world was cold. If you don't fit into the norm, you get bullied, society treats you like yesterday's trash. No matter how much trouble you are having, society moves on and if you don't move with them, you are cast out of it.

 

 _Sit upright, Viktor.  
  
Hold your chin up.  
  
Don't make so much noise when you're eating.  
  
Don't you see we love you Viktor?  
  
Don't you see we know what's best for you?  
  
**Do you even want to fit into this world?  
  
**_ Viktor didn't want that. He just wanted to be strong, to get out of the house that was like a cage with golden bars, he just wanted to tell everyone that he was sick of being someone who just nodded his head and behaved like a pet. But he wasn't strong. He wasn't like Yuuri who endured all the pain and still did things his way. He was admiring Yuuri for his spirit, but honestly, he felt like the raven-haired male would soon break. Did he want to allow it?  
  
His heart already ached as he saw Yuuri apologize for things that he didn't do. He saw the younger male give up slowly and Viktor just wanted to shout, to encourage him, to tell him that he should be getting angry instead of apologizing. But in class he just bit his lip and tried to play it cool. He was afraid of the consequences that he would have to bear when he went against the masses.  
  
_Do what people want to see you do, Vitya.  
  
_ He didn't want to do any of it though..he just wanted to scream out that everyone should stop bullying the Japanese student to the point of a breakdown. But he was so weak, he couldn't even save himself, how would he save somebody else?  
  
“Maccachin, am I pathetic?”, he asked his dog as he walked it in the evening. Of course, the poodle wouldn't reply. But he felt better and more calm as he spoke to his dog. “As long as I don't hurt him physically...I'm fine, right? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?”  
  
He sighed and stopped his walk, looking down to his feet. He wasn't sure of anything any more. He wished he could just go against the society, he wished he could free himself from the chains that bound him to his parents. But as long as he was underage, he couldn't do anything. If he escaped his home, he still would land in an orphanage, where they knew exactly who he was. He would eventually go back to square one, but if he escaped, his parents probably wouldn't leave him out of their sight for even a moment.  
  
Viktor sighed as he looked at the brown poodle who impatiently dug through the freshly fallen snow. Come to think of it, he saw some guys tear up Yuuri's coat today. Would the younger male be okay? Could he even afford a new coat? It was surprisingly warm for a February in St. Petersburg, but the temperature still reached sub-zero. Why was he worrying so much about Yuuri when he decided that he couldn't help the younger male?  
  
The silver-haired male squeezed his eyes shut in frustration and tried to block out the thoughts that circled through his mind. He just wanted to forget the pained expression that the Japanese male had on his face today. He opened his eyes soon however, because Maccachin let out a loud bark and called the teen's attention to himself. Maccachin rarely ever barked without a reason, so Viktor was compelled to look up. He hadn't even realized that he had reached the bridge that went over the Neva river. The lights were beautifully illuminating the pavement and threw beautiful golden reflections onto the water below the bridge. Viktor smiled at the image and looked further ahead just to see a familiar lean form stand there, in the far back. His black hair was messy and his sweater still dirty, but for some reason, Yuuri was smiling.  
  
He saw the Japanese male tap on his phone, the pale light of the screen showing the wet trails that stained his cheeks, the frost making the wet cheeks rosy and cold, the pink color that flushed the cheeks contrasting the white bandaid that stuck to one of the cheeks.  
  
Viktor wondered if he should approach his classmate, ask him if he was okay, but it was probably better if he didn't. He gently tugged on the leash that was attached to the poodle's collar and turned around to walk into the opposite direction of where the younger male stood. However, his dog wouldn't move an inch, instead tugging its owner back towards where the Japanese male was.  
  
“Maccachin, you are being complicated today..what's wrong?”, the teen asked and turned around again, just to see that Yuuri's phone laid on the pavement, long forgotten as the raven-haired male stood on the railing of the bridge. He looked so graceful as he stood there with his head raised high instead of his usual downcast glance and Viktor saw that the smile grew even wider, but those brown eyes expressed nothing but pure agony. The silver-haired teen realized what was to come next.  
  
_No...please, no...  
  
_ Yuuri spread his arms like a bird that was about to take flight, just to let himself plummet down into the icy cold water, a loud splash resonating through the otherwise serene area. It was as if the whole world deleted itself for Viktor. It wasn't fine if he just stood by. It wasn't fine if he called Yuuri names.  
  
_Nothing was fine.  
  
_ The splash was like the wake-up call for Viktor, It was his time to face reality, it was his time to stand up for at least one thing that he believed in. It was time to save whatever was left of the bright Yuuri Katsuki and put the pieces back together.. but first, he would need to help the younger male.  
  
“Maccachin. Stay put.”, he said and took off the scarf that was around his neck before quickly climbing onto the railing and diving down right where he saw the bubbles of air rise to the surface. He didn't have much time if he wanted to save Yuuri.  
  
His swimming abilities were something that he was grateful to his parents for. If it weren't for them pestering him to get a lifeguard badge as he was fifteen, he wouldn't be able to save Yuuri right now. The current was pretty strong, but luckily Yuuri didn't get carried away too far. The lifeless form of the sixteen-year old male was floating in the water, just above the bottom of the river, so his lungs weren't completely filled with water yet. There was still hope...  
  
Viktor reached out to wrap his arms around the younger male's chest and pulled him up to the surface, desperately gasping for air as he battled with the current to get to the shore. It was so much harder to swim with Yuuri in his arms, but he wouldn't let go of the younger male. And if they both would drown...well, then Viktor would call it divine punishment. His parents always said that he would burn in hell due to his homosexual tendencies anyway.  
  
He saw Maccachin tag along at the shore, realizing how far away from the bridge they now were with the current carrying them. Viktor had to hurry if he wanted to save the younger male, he needed to get to CPR as quickly as he could, so he struggled more against the waters that kept them drifting further and further, finally grabbing onto the grass at the shore, his fingers digging into the frozen ground, dirt getting under his nails, but he didn't care. Everything was meaningless now, the only thing that went through Viktor's mind was that he had to save Yuuri. He couldn't allow the teen to die without even offering him an apology.  
  
He slowly pulled himself onto the shore with some tugging from his beloved poodle helping him along before he carefully lifted Yuuri up from the water, startled by how light the teen was. It surely wasn't normal to weigh so little, but that was something Viktor could take care of after he got the raven-haired male to breathe again. He carefully laid Yuuri onto the ground and folded his hands over one another, pressing down on the teen's chest, pumping his ribcage rhythmically.  
  
_Just put some force into it. Even if you hear something crack, don't stop.  
  
_ The voice of his father rang in his ears as he switched between thirty pumps to the chest and three times mouth to mouth resuscitation.  
  
_Continue until you hear a breathing, no matter how shaky.  
  
_ “Please...please work.”, the teen begged, never letting up on the CPR. He just wanted the Japanese male to give him any sign that he was alive, but it seemed to look bleak. He was at it for at least two minutes already and he didn't hear or feel any breathing yet. “Please...if there is a God, please let him be merciful enough to save Yuuri...”  
  
_The Japanese male didn't deserve to die for the foolish mistakes that others made.  
  
_ Viktor didn't let up on his actions, the movements happening in a trance. His mind was focused on praying to every higher powers, good and evil to just save Yuuri. To give him a chance to redeem himself, to give him the opportunity to protect those who truly needed it. To make Yuri smile brightly, just like he did when he first came into the classroom and the teacher introduced him. Just like when he did when he thought that the pushes from other students weren't intentional...  
  
Viktor knew he wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if Yuuri died now, because he would know what he did, he would know what his father's teachings had brought him, he wouldn't be able to stay with his selfish parents any longer. He knew that he just made himself believe that everything was alright, but if he saw Yuuri die now, the imaginary world he built for himself would shatter.  
  
And then, a miracle happened. Just as Viktor leaned down to cover the younger male's lips with his own again to give him some oxygen, Yuuri started coughing frantically, a lot of water coming out of his parted lips. The teen turned to the side and continued coughing, curling into a ball as if he was about to spit out his insides.  
  
But the teen was alive. He was alive, he was coughing...and he was surely cold. Not only did he leave home with only a sweater, both of their clothes were now soaking wet and heavy on their bodies. (Which made the weight of Viktor's classmate even more concerning.)  
  
And then it hit him..He saved Yuuri, but now what? He was the reason that the raven-haired male wanted to kill himself in the first place. How would he react when he saw that his savior was nothing short of his worst tormentor? What if the younger male refused further help?  
  
Maccachin seemed to understand the situation and gently licked the Japanese male's cheek to call him back to reality.  
  
“Mmh? Victor, is that you?”, the younger male looked at the brown poodle and coughed some more. “Y-You've grown.”  
  
The Russian male cocked an eyebrow. Why was his classmate speaking to Maccachin and addressing him by _his_ name? Did the raven-haired male hallucinate?  
  
“Yuuri, please don't be startled.”, he spoke up in a soft voice, hoping that the Japanese male wouldn't try to run. “If you don't want my further help, I'll understand. But you are in a critical condition and you need a doctor.”  
  
“V-Viktor?”, the younger male asked incredulously, his eyes widening as he turned his head. “Y-You saved me?”  
  
“Yes.”, the silver-haired teen nodded. “I am sure you have a lot of questions, but please, save them for later. I want you to get checked up first.”  
  
“Why?”, the younger male simply asked. Nothing mattered any more. Why did the older male save him? Was this some sort of a joke? Would Viktor demand him to pay up as soon as he got better? Why couldn't the world just let him go? “I want to die. Why did you do something like that? Why did you take my only chance of freedom from me?” The Japanese male sat up and shook his head, looking down onto the ground with dull, lifeless eyes. He didn't feel anything any more, the despair and the anger was gone and the feeling of cold also slowly passed. It all didn't matter anymore. “Whatever. Just do as you like. I don't even care for an explanation.”  
  
Viktor sighed and kneeled before Yuuri with his back turned to the younger teen. “Get onto my back. It'll keep us both warm and we can go faster like this.”  
  
Reluctantly, Yuri reached out and wrapped his arms around Viktor's neck, realizing how vulnerable the older male was making himself. If Yuuri so wished, he could just give the teen a small push and drown him. And yet Viktor apparently trusted him enough to give him that chance. Of course, the younger male would never do anything like that, he hated himself and not others...but nonetheless, it made him feel better about accepting the silver-haired male's help, even if just a little.  
  
“Let's pick up your phone while we're at it. I saw it lying on the ground just as you jumped.”, the older teen suggested, slowly getting back up with Yuri pressed firmly against his back. He supported the younger male's thighs by holding each of them in his hands, carrying the raven-haired male back to his house.  
  
As promised, they made a quick stop at the bridge, picking up the cellphone that was covered by a thin layer of snow by then and Yuuri tucked it into the hood of Viktor's coat, since he didn't have any pockets on his sweater. As they continued their walk, the Japanese male slowly became sleepy, nodding off with his head resting on Viktor's shoulder. And the silver-haired teen noticed that, but didn't make any comments on that, glad that his classmate was comfortable enough to allow himself to nap. Maccachin was happily tagging along, his leash drawing patterns on the freshly fallen snow as he dragged it behind himself.  
  
It was only as they reached the manor of the Nikiforov family that Viktor spoke again. He was greeted by the butler, who gave the raven haired male that clung to the _young master's_ back a questionable look before smiling back at the young heir of the family.  
  
“Ah, young master brought a friend home? Shall I make arrangements in the guest bedroom?”, he asked in that fake friendly voice that Viktor absolutely hated.  
  
Still, the silver-haired male smiled. “Please do. Can you also bring some spare clothing for the guest?”  
  
“Ah, I'm afraid I don't know the exact measurements...please forgive me, young master.”  
  
“It's fine.”, Viktor sighed. He'd just have to look in the drawers if he could find anything that would fit the younger teen.  
  
His father soon rushed in, arguing with his mother...as always. The two never spent a day without some argument breaking out in between of them. Most of the time it was about the division of the money that the clinic brought in.  
  
“Vitya! I see you're home!”, his father seemed happy to see him. But Viktor knew that he just wanted an excuse to get away from his mother who probably wasn't satisfied with how the money was being split.  
  
“Yeah. I brought a classmate of mine home. I apologize, but could you check up on him? He was pushed into the river by someone.”, he lied, smiling a saccharine smile at his father, who seemed ecstatic to get away from his wife for such a long time.  
  
“Of course! You did a noble deed of saving him. Now, will you bring him over to my office and lay him down on the couch? I'll get my equipment.”, the head of the family rushed to get away from the room.  
  
“Don't step on the carpet. You're dragging mud all over it.”, Viktor's mother hissed and angrily stomped off to her room, the door slamming shut as she disappeared.  
  
Well, at least he got his father to help Yuuri without any questions asked. He supposed he should thank his mother for bringing up an argument topic tonight. He sighed a little and headed over to his father's office, carefully setting the younger male down and untangling Yuri's arms from his neck. It was amazing how tightly the raven-haired male was holding onto him, even in his sleep.  
  
He made sure to take Yuuri's shoes off so that his father's beloved couch wouldn't get dirty, repeating the process with his own shoes and heading back to the entrance to get two pairs of house slippers, one for himself and one for Yuuri. He also remembered that his younger classmate still needed something clean to wear, so he dried himself off and changed into clean clothing before rummaging through the drawers, finally finding light-blue pajamas that were a tad too small on him. They would surely be too big on Yuuri, but that was the only thing that was _close_ to the younger male's lean form. He stepped out into the hallway, hearing his father's voice downstairs. From the sound of it, it seemed like he was on the phone with someone.  
  
Deciding to eavesdrop a little, Viktor tip-toed downstairs until he could understand what his father was saying. He seemed pretty happy and excited, after all.  
  
“Can you believe my luck?”  
  
Luck? Did his father get a good deal with the pharmaceutical industry again?  
  
“Yeah, I'm telling the truth. My son has brought the whore in, it seems like someone tried to drown him.”  
  
The whore? Did his dad hear what he said about Yuuri? Did he mess up so bad that the rumor spread to his father already? He didn't want that. Who knew what could happen if his father took it seriously. It was just a joke, a mean joke to break Yuuri. Being a whore was impossible at his age..  
  
“What? STDs? No, no, that is a false rumor. This boy is purer than the snow that's falling outside. His mouth truly works wonders, no wonder old man Yakov sells him off for such a high price.”, the voice paused and then his father laughed. “You won't believe me until I send you a picture, huh? Well, fine. But I was thinking...maybe my son could bring that Asian kid here more often.”  
  
Viktor coughed audibly to announce his arrival. What would he do now? Was Yuuri really a whore? And for that matter, how did his father know about him? Did Yuuri already...get paid for his services by the _great_ Mr. Nikiforov himself and if so...how far did they go? And what would he do now that he had this knowledge? He couldn't let Yuuri sleep in the guest room now that he knew that his father was seemingly waiting for a chance to get his hands on Yuuri.  
  
“Ah, Vitya.”, the man said with a smile, then quickly wrapped up his call. “I'll call you again later.”  
  
Viktor's eyes were cold as they looked at his father. He was more than disappointed. That perfect attitude of his was all just for show. His father was pushing him to be the perfect son, when he was far from a perfect father. He didn't even speak as he descended the last few steps, faking a smile as he faced his father.  
  
“What's the name of your friend in there?”, the older male asked, his smile growing to a point where his teeth were visible. “He's a foreigner, isn't he?”  
  
“I don't know. His name is Yuuri Katsuki though.”, the teen said and his gaze sharpened.  
  
“Hmm..Katsuki? Like the famous lawyer duo from Japan?”  
  
Viktor sighed and shook his head. “He never talked about his family.” _We never let him speak anyway_ “But there isn't just one Katsuki family around there, I'm sure.”  
  
“It would be quite the turn of events. You know, his visa will expire in just a few days from now if he is from there.”, the older Nikiforov chuckled. “And I think Toshiya Katsuki has mentioned in an interview that he 'lost a son'”  
  
“Why are you so nosy, father?”, the silver-haired male hissed. “Yuuri is just my friend, there is nothing else you _need_ to know.”  
  
“Well, are you aware that you have brought a whore into our house?”, the older male continued. “He is underage and a foreigner who will be staying here illegally soon..if I am correct.”  
  
“So what? Let him handle his own business the way he wants it.”, Viktor's heart ached. Surely nobody deserved to have such a tough life as Yuuri had? Surely, it was all just a misunderstanding, right?  
  
“I will not tolerate my son being _friends_ with criminals.”, the older male chuckled. “But, if you decide to make a small deal with me, I might just let him stay and offer him a new visa, protection and food. After all, the poor boy is really malnourished.”  
  
“What do you want?”, the young family heir spat, his lips forming a thin line out of defiance for his father.  
  
“Nothing much. But maybe you could get your little friend Yuuri to provide me and my friends with some entertainment?”, the older male chuckled. “It's not much different from what he does now, except that he can forget preserving his virginity...if you can call it that.”  
  
“You are-”, Viktor hissed angrily, wanting to spit out all the words that came to his mind.  
  
Disgusting  
  
Pathetic  
  
A freak  
  
A sicko

 

 _Pervert._  
  
Viktor wanted to come up with even more words to describe his disgust with his father, but he saw Yuuri peek out from the office, rubbing his eyes sleepily. It was obvious that his father was done with the examination already, the raven-haired male's clothing was disheveled, revealing some of the skin on his hips.  
  
“Ah...Mr. Nikiforov...I apologize for coming in unannounced and falling asleep, too.”, the younger male bowed in respect as soon as he saw one of his former customers stand in front of him. “I am Yuuri Katsuki, your son's classmate. It's nice to meet you.”  
  
“The pleasure is all mine, Yuuri.”, the older Russian said with a smile and then hummed. “May I ask you a question?”  
  
“Of course. I will answer it to my best abilities.”, the Japanese male said with a fake smile plastered onto his face. Viktor wanted to scream at how out of place it was.  
  
“Are you by any chance linked with Hiroko and Toshiya Katsuki?”, the Russian asked flat out.  
  
All the answer he needed was that devastated look on Yuuri's face, the hazel eyes that were wide in shock over someone finding out who he was. And that someone was the most influential medic in Russia...What could he say to that? He couldn't just tell the truth, right? And Viktor noticed that, he saw that his father hit bull's eye and he saw the raven-haired male's heart slowly break into tiny pieces.  
  
“Father, I don't think it's relevant to our conversation.”, the silver-haired male said, sighing. He turned to his classmate and gently spoke to him, as if consoling a scared animal. “Yuuri. I got you some dry clothing. Come along, I'll show you where the guest room is.”  
  
“Sorry, I got carried away.”, the older Russian laughed a little and put a hand on his son's shoulder. His gaze sharpened for a moment and Viktor noticed that, frowning a little. “Think about what I told you, yes? I will leave you guys alone now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Viktor's family is a mess.  
> I'm torturing my favorite babies, I need help.


	3. Put the Pieces Back Together

The Japanese male relaxed a little after the head of the Nikiforov family had gone to bed. Viktor noted that tonight his parents slept separately again. But maybe it was better, since they wouldn't start shouting at each other in the middle of the night like that. But now that nobody was speaking, the silence weighed down on them both. They both struggled to find anything they could talk about, but ultimately, the Russian teen spoke up.   
  
“You should probably take a shower and go to bed. We both have classes tomorrow...”, the silver-haired teen reminded his classmate and offered him a patient smile.  
  
Yuuri however shook his head. “What does it matter any more? You know it, right?”  
  
“Know what, Yuuri?”, the older male asked, his smile fading. How much did Yuuri hear?  
  
“Your father told you that I'm a whore. Your father told you that I only have a few days left until I'm forced to leave this country. And indeed...my visa expires in exactly three days.”, the younger male said, Looking down to the ground. “What does school matter? What does my life matter?”  
  
“Yuuri...”, Viktor sighed and approached the younger male, pulling him into a comforting hug. “I don't care what you do to survive. You are really intelligent and strong, I am really jealous that you kept such a thing secret and fought on your own, I wish I would be as strong as you are. So please, don't give up yet.”  
  
The younger mile relaxed just a little as he was hugged, but felt more emotional now that the physical contact was present. It made him feel safer.  
  
“You know...Yakov, them man who picked me up a year ago after I was left behind..he contacted my parents and asked them to adopt me. But they said no. They said that they didn't want to know what is happening to me now.”, Yuuri let out a broken chuckle, his arms wrapping around the taller male's waist, seeking more comfort. “I know I'm just giving you more things you can bully me about tomorrow...but for tonight, I just want to cry. Pathetic, right?”

 

Viktor frowned. He didn't yet know what exactly happened to Yuuri, but the pieces started to fall together. It seemed that Yuuri's parents left him in Russia for whatever reason. They left a teenager alone in a foreign country without anything to fall back on. That was not only irresponsible, but downright cruel...and now they didn't even let anyone else adopt Yuuri? What did they care? Did they want their son _dead_? Compared to that, his father was a saint, really. But what could Yuuri do if the one who took care of him right now couldn't even adopt him? Viktor had no idea how to help the younger male, but for now he could at least console him.  
  
“You are not pathetic. If I was in your shoes, I would have given up a long time ago...but you endured everything up until now. I don't know how to help you with your visa and your family...but I promise I will protect you in school.”, the silver-haired male said and tried to pull away from the younger teen, only to have Yuuri cling to him tighter.  
  
“Why? Why did you change your mind? Is it pity?”, the raven-haired male laughed a little, but Viktor could feel the wetness staining his shoulder as the Japanese student cried. “If you are simply pitying me, then please stop. If you are expecting me to pay you back for your efforts, I have nothing to offer you besides..well, the _services_. So why?”  
  
The older male gently rubbed Yuuri's back and tried to calm the younger male down. How could he explain the complicated feelings that he had? “Yuuri. I will tell you all of my reasons once you have taken a shower and are dry and warm. I don't want you to catch a cold..besides, it wouldn't be appropriate to talk about such things in the hallway.”  
  
“Alright..you promise you'll tell me everything, right?”  
  
Viktor smiled a little at how cute that question was. Yuuri was broken and needed at least something he could hold on to. The Russian was more than happy to provide his classmate with such a thing. “Of course I will tell you everything. I'd love to know more about you, too.”  
  
“Sure. I'm not quite as interesting as the heir of the Nikiforov family though...”, the younger teen wiped his tears and reluctantly let go of his classmate. “...so don't be too disappointed, alright?”  
  
“I won't be, I promise. Now, let's go upstairs.”, the Russian said and set the pair of slippers that he got for Yuuri down onto the ground so the younger male could step into them.  
  
“Thank you.”, the younger male said and put on the shoes, following his classmate upstairs.  
  
When they arrived in Viktor's bedroom, the younger teen was stunned at how many medals and awards were decorating the walls. Viktor had won silver in the math olympiad, gold in the biology olympiad and another gold in gymnastics. And those were just the medals from this year, there were so many more all over the walls. Sadly, Yuuri's range of sight was limited, so he couldn't see what the other awards were for. His sight was enough howwever to recognize that there were no posters or drawings on the walls. It wasn't like a teen's bedroom at all. Sure, Yuuri's room was even less like a teen's bedroom, but he would have never thought that Viktor was such an exemplary person.  
  
“I hate this room.”, Viktor finally said with a bitter smile. “It's suffocating to be in here.”  
  
The Japanese teen nodded. “I can see why.”  
  
The Russian probably felt a lot of pressure to win every competition that he joined, just to defend the Nikiforov name. A name that bound Viktor wherever he went. And a name that meant so much more to everyone than the personality of the teen did.  
  
Viktor sighed and nodded. He needed to change the topic so he would stop wallowing in self-pity. He needed to remind himself that Yuuri had it a lot worse than he did. “Here, take this towel.”, he handed the raven-haired male a white fluffy towel. “And feel free to use the stuff that's in the shower..the bathroom is right behind this door.” The silver-haired male pointed to a wooden door that was in the back of the room. “I'll be here if something happens, so feel free to call me.”  
  
“Alright.”, the younger teen nodded and took the towel, a small but genuine smile curving his lips. “Thank you.”  
  
It felt just like when Yakov picked him up, except that the old man didn't phrase himself in such a gentle way. So many people were kind to him and helped him out...he wouldn't have made it if it weren't for them. Even if Viktor was part of the reason why he wanted to kill himself in the first place, the older teen changed. He was so kind and patient. Was that the real Viktor? Or was the one that looked down on him with a smirk the real one?  
  
He didn't even know any more, but for now he should follow the Russian saying of 'If they give, take it – If they hit you, run.' and just accept the kindness as long as it lasted. He disappeared into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.  
  
As soon as the sound of water running resounded from the locked door, the phone rang. Viktor glanced at the clock as he heard the ringtone echo through the whole house, frowning as he realized that it was past midnight already. Who the hell called at this hour, on their house telephone no less? Was it a call from overseas? No matter what it was, his father would certainly start shouting any minute now.  
  
The silver-haired teen opened the door to his room just a little crack wide, seeing his father go downstairs to pick up the phone. The butler has been dismissed for the night, so the older male had to go through the ordeal of picking up the phone himself. Viktor, once again, decided to eavesdrop. Just in case it was his father's friend again, with whom he discussed Yuuri's arrival.  
  
“Hm? Ah, Toshiya. It's been far too long.”  
  
Toshiya? Wasn't that the name of Yuuri's father?  
  
“Yes, I've heard that you lost your son. It's quite tragic.”  
  
So that _was_ Yuuri's father calling. How much Viktor wished he could just rush downstairs and scream through the phone at the man who abandoned Yuuri like this. He would make sure that he let whoever Yakov was adopt the raven-haired male. He would shout until everyone in the house knew how unfair life was to Yuuri. But instead of doing all that, Viktor just stood there and listened.  
  
“He left you a suicide note? Wow. So you think he's dead now?”  
  
The silver-haired teen frowned. No, Yuuri wasn't dead. He just needed someone to support him, that's all.  
  
“If it makes you feel better, my son saved him, he is at my house right now. Do you want to speak to him?”  
  
Viktor frowned. They better apologize to Yuuri and either take him back to Japan or let a _responsible_ person adopt him, not some idiots who would leave him out in the streets again. Despite not knowing the Japanese male's parents personally, he hated them. He hated them even more than he hated his own family.  
  
“I figured you'd refuse. But here is another deal. Yuuri's visa will expire three days from now...”  
  
Had his father been eavesdropping on his conversation with Yuuri as well? He didn't hear his classmate mention anything about his visa expiration date to his father.  
  
“...so I wonder if you'd let me adopt him. He'll live a good life here.”  
  
No, no please no. Viktor was desperate...if his father adopted the raven-haired teen, he and his friends would have access to Yuuri every day. He needed to prevent it, but how? Should he just tell Yuuri what his father planned? But if he did, the younger male would probably think that he was in on it too. He would see the deal as a reason for his kindness. So what should he do now, act like he didn't know of his father's plans?  
  
“Alright, I will fill in the forms that you fax me when I wake up. Have a great day, Toshiya and don't worry, I will take good care of him.”  
  
Why did Yuuri's father agree? Was it because the Katsukis and the Nikiforovs had a fairly good relationship while Yakov was just a stranger?  
  
He heard his father go upstairs again and his heart started beating louder. It was as if the older Russian noticed that, since he approached his son with a saccharine smile on his lips, making Viktor freeze on his spot. Viktor was sure that his father knew that he was eavesdropping. The older male stood just a foot away from him now and still, the silver-haired male couldn't move.  
  
“Ah, you're still awake.”, the father said, still smiling that fake smile. “And by the sounds of it, I assume that Yuuri is in the shower. I will wait for him to come out to break the great news to him.”  
  
Viktor's eyes widened. His father wanted to tell Yuuri about the adoption _right now_?? “I wouldn't want you to wait for too long. Who knows when he'll be done?”  
  
The shower sounds have stopped and Viktor heard the shower door slide open just as soon as he said that. Why did he finish in the most unfitting moment ever? His father was too happy about adopting the raven-haired male. And Viktor was sure that it was not for the best of reasons.  
  
“I think he just finished.”, the older male said with a gleeful grin. “Two more minutes won't kill me. My first meeting is at 11 am anyway.”  
  
“Do as you wish, father.”, the silver-haired male sighed and stepped aside, making room for his father to enter. He didn't want that. As awesome as having Yuuri as his younger brother would be, his father would most certainly not treat the Japanese male as any other family member. Anxiously, Viktor glanced to the bathroom door, just waiting for Yuuri to come out and face his doom.  
  
With a click, the door unlocked and Yuuri walked out of the bathroom with his wet hair slicked back and the pajamas that were just slightly too loose on him, revealing his collarbone. It was the first time Viktor got a proper look on the younger male's face and he was stunned. Those big, brown eyes were so bright and beautiful, the eyebrows accentuating their shape perfectly. His skin was pale and fair, with only the scratches on his cheek standing out against the soft-looking skin. His lips were thin and soft, a lot of care went into them it seemed.  
  
Yuuri was simply gorgeous. So gorgeous that for a moment, Viktor forgot that his father was even still in the room. But of course, he was about to be painfully reminded of that.  
  
“Mr. Nikiforov. Have I woken you up? I apologize.”, the Japanese male asked and smiled at the older Russian.  
  
“No, no. Don't worry about it, Yuuri.”, the head of the Nikiforov family smiled sweetly. “I was woken up by a call. It was your parents.”  
  
Yuuri swallowed and his smile faltered. He tried to keep his voice steady as he spoke up again “They...how are they doing?”  
  
“Your father seemed quite appalled and angry that you sent him a suicide note.”, the older male lied. Toshiya was actually sad and wondered if it was too late to take Yuuri back. But as if he would let anyone take such a _fun thing_ like Yuuri away from him. “I promised that I would look after you.”  
  
“Ah...my father must think that I'm a disappointment.”, the raven-haired male said with a forced smile. “Sorry for burdening you. You don't have to look after me, Mr.Nikiforov.”  
  
“I'd prefer if you call me father from now on. I will fill in the adoption form tomorrow and hand it in to the officials.”, he paused and put a reassuring hand onto the raven-haired male's shoulder, disturbingly close to his neck. “Don't worry, you are not a burden to me. And Vitya would surely be more than happy to have a brother.”  
  
“Is it really okay for me to accept?”, Yuuri thought out loud. “I don't have anything I could pay you back with...”  
  
“You have more than enough to pay me back.”, the older Russian said with a dirty smirk. “Think about it. You are already selling your body to others for a living. It wouldn't be all too different here, except you will have safety, enough food and your visa wouldn't be a problem.”  
  
“I-I don't know. I need some time to think.”, the younger male said and took a step back to avoid the hand that started caressing his neck with the thumb.  
  
Viktor just stood there, dumbfounded. How could anyone be so brutal? His father knew that Yuuri was unstable and lost right now. Why did he push him so hard? Or...it was exactly _because_ the Japanese male couldn't think straight right now. He recalled that his father mentioned something like that.  
  
__Fragile hearts are so easy to handle. Make those hearts break and then re-arrange the pieces to your liking. That's how easy it is to manipulate others, Vitya.  
  
“Alright. Tell me about your decision in the morning. It would be a shame if you declined though...just three more days and you'll have to get out of this country.”, the older male pressed on, then he made a fake gasp, as if he realized something. “Oh, and you shouldn't have been allowed to enroll into the school as a foreigner either. Wouldn't it be a shame if _someone_ reported you to the police?”  
  
Viktor snapped. “That's straight out blackmail, father. If _someone_ reported _you_ to the police, it would be a shame too, wouldn't it?”  
  
“Ah, if we are going on about reporting something to the police, I might as well add that _someone_ might report Toshiya and Hiroko Katsuki to the police for abandoning their child. Oh and the old man Yakov? He would go behind bars immediately if-”  
  
Yuuri teared up again. “Please, just stop it. Don't cause any trouble for my parents or Yakov. I'll do all it takes to keep them safe.”  
  
“Wise decision.”, the older Russian smirked. “Yuuri Nikiforov has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? With your looks and that Russian sounding name, people might mistaken you for a Kazakh.”  
  
“So I'll have to change my last name then?”, Yuuri asked with a frown. “Why? There is no law stating I have to.”  
  
“Spoken like a true son of two lawyers. There is no law, but if you don't take on our last name, I do not wish to treat you with the same respect as I treat the other family members.”, the older male grinned.  
  
Viktor hissed and stood in between of the two of them. “You just fucking said that you wouldn't treat him like a family member regardless. You _just_ said out loud that you would use him as some sex toy. Why the fuck should he agree to even change his last name?”  
  
“Watch your mouth, Vitya. I do not want to hear any cuss words from you ever again.”, the older Russian sighed. “You know...at this point, either Yuuri does everything I say or Yakov just might have to close down his shop. You have no say in this.”  
  
“If you go through with using him like that, I could just report you to the child services.”, Viktor retorted with a bitter look. Surely, nobody would ignore such behavior, right?  
  
“And they will do what, exactly?”, the head of the Nikiforov family laughed and shook his head. It was just too funny how naïve his son was. The world wasn't regulated by laws only. “Look...I am rich and powerful and the world is corrupt. All I have to do is pay the child services a little and they will shut up. There is absolutely no commoner who would dare to go against me.”  
  
Yuuri lowered his head. His heart felt like it was coated in lead, sinking further down and aching. Did he have to go through this? Why couldn't he just be left alone? His vision blurred again as tears trickled down onto the carpet below, his hair falling back over his face in strands, covering the dull, emotionless eyes again. Why did Viktor save him? Why couldn't he just have died?  
  
The Japanese male regretted everything, the small moment of happiness he felt when Viktor offered him his kindness long forgotten.  
  
“Well, it seems like Yuuri is quite speechless at such a generous offer. But I know the answer already.”, the father said, turning around to leave. “I'll be expecting the two of you to go straight home after school ends, we'll go to hand in the forms together.”  
  
Neither of the teens replied, but it seemed that the older male didn't even expect an answer. He left the two alone, which was when the Japanese male finally allowed himself to speak.  
  
“It's so frustrating...”, Yuuri sobbed, speaking to nobody in particular. “Why couldn't I just die? Or maybe if I jump from the window here, I'll still have a chance?”  
  
“Yuuri..”, the older teen bit his lip and approached his soon-to-be brother, gently putting his hand on the younger male's upper arm “..We'll figure something out, okay? We'll get you out of this mess..”  
  
“How? The only exit I see is if I just slice up my throat right here....nothing will be fine.”, the younger male shook his head. “I am so scared...Yakov had always protected me and watched that nobody would do anything that I didn't want...”  
  
“I wish I knew how to stop my father...”, Viktor said with a bitter look.  
  
“He can't be stopped. Yakov had to call the security the night he was my customer. He didn't care how much it terrified me as he started to...”, the younger male broke down into a sobbing mess, unable to speak any more. He sank down onto his knees and covered his face as he cried, his body shaking violently with the sobs. Nothing would be fine any more. Not when __this man was in control.   
  
And Viktor didn't know any way out of the situation. Just a moment ago, the situation was terrible. Now it just turned into hell. They were both underage and they were both powerless. How could they even dream of going against the head of the Nikiforov family? His only hope was that his mother would be against the adoption and that it would be called off then...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some bonding time with Viktor and Yuuri that instantly gets destroyed.  
> Viktor's dad is the real antagonist here...


	4. Where I belong

The next morning, Yuuri awoke to a sound of a shutter, sleepily opening one eye, confused as to what was happening. He was still drowsy with sleep, not realizing that he was indeed still at the Nikiforov residence, lying in a king sized bed in the guest room. The memories only started flooding back as he saw the head of the Nikiforov family stand there with his smartphone, another shutter sound resounding as he snapped a picture.  
  
“..Good morning, Mr. Nikiforov.”, the Japanese male said and sat up in his bed, sleepily rubbing his eyes. “If I may ask, why did you just take photos of me sleeping?”  
  
The Russian chuckled. “I don't see why not. Besides, I thought I'd send your father a photo to prove that you are safe and sound.” Of course, the older male lied. He simply wanted to send the picture to other people who he knew were interested in Yuuri, to invite them to a special evening. “Besides, didn't I tell you to call me father?”  
  
“I'm sorry. I'm still not used to this term.”, the raven-haired male said, slowly getting up. As he looked to his right, he noticed that there were freshly ironed expensive clothes, neatly folded and just waiting to be worn by him. “Thank you for the clothing. Isn't it a little too much though?”  
  
“Ah, Vitya picked those. I suggested that it would be better if we go shopping after handing in the forms for adoption, but Vitya was quite insistent that you couldn't go to school in the clothes that you had on last night.”, the older male shrugged. “You don't yet have the Nikiforov name, so today I wouldn't have cared.”  
  
Yuuri smiled a little at that. Viktor was really nice to pick out clothes for him to wear. “I should go change then.”, he said and picked up the pile of clothing, heading for the bathroom door.  
  
However, his advance was blocked by the older male standing in his way. “You have nothing to hide from your father, do you?”  
  
Yuuri's eyes grew cold and narrowed. This man truly didn't know his limits and it pissed Yuuri off. “As far as I remember, you just said that I don't have the Nikiforov name yet. Right now, I am just _a friend_ your son has brought home. So indeed, I do have things to hide from a stranger.” He made a step sideways to avoid the Russian, but the older male didn't take kindly to the words.  
  
Yuuri was met with a slap to his cheek, a slap so hard that the imprint of the older male's hand was still visible on his skin in an angry red color. Yuuri just stood there in shock, not moving an inch, his head still turned to the side to which the force of the hit tilted it. He simply stared at the wall with wide, brown eyes, refusing to face the man who hit him. However, Mr. Nikiforov would have none of that. Yuuri's chin was roughly grabbed and he was forced to face the Russian.  
  
“You wouldn't want to see me angry, Yuuri, so never talk back to me again. Strip right here and right now.”  
  
The voice was icy cold, daring Yuuri to disobey, but the Japanese male knew better than to do so in a space where everything was under this man's control. He took a step back and started unbuttoning his shirt, looking down onto the ground in shame, a familiar pain of humiliation spreading through his chest, overpowering the burning sensation on his cheek.  
  
“Look at me, Yuuri.”  
  
The younger male obeyed without hesitation this time, looking up from under his long eyelashes as he shrugged off the shirt and slid down the pants. His stomach twisted with disgust as he saw the man grin and lick his lips, he just wanted this gaze off of him, but it just continued burning on his skin, so instead of saying anything to make the man stop to avoid getting hit again, Yuuri hurried to put on the black v-neck shirt and gray jeans that Viktor has given him. He didn't know where the silver-haired male found those clothes, but they fit him perfectly. Perhaps those were clothes that Viktor once used to wear? He would ask him later.  
  
“What do you know. Fine feathers do make fine birds.”, the Russian chuckled. “Vitya is waiting downstairs. He was quite insistent that you two are fine with walking to school and I won't need to drive you, so I decided to at least wake you up.”  
  
“By taking pictures? That is a very...interesting way of waking someone up.”, the raven-haired male said, heading for the door. “Thank you for waking me up. Did you talk to Mrs. Nikiforov about the adoption?”  
  
The Russian laughed. “Ah, I haven't actually spoken to her yet. But I am sure that if I give her 5% more of the shares that our clinic makes, she will gladly accept.”  
  
“Alright.”, Yuuri said, heading downstairs without another word. There went his last hope for ever getting out of the whole adoption thing. But at least he would have a brother now..wasn't that what he always wanted?  
  
“Yuuri, good morning!”, the silver-haired male beamed, the smile on the older teen's lips almost blinding, the silver hair perfectly framing the beautifully sculpted face.  
  
Whom was Yuuri kidding? He would never see the silver-haired male as a brother or as anything of equal status as he was, Viktor was so different, he was beautiful, smart and rich. And Yuuri was..well, he was just _this._ A toy for the world to play with. “Good morning Viktor.”, he replied timidly. “Thank you for giving me the clothes.”  
  
“You look so good in them! I never even got around to wearing those since I got taller rapidly in the last year, so I'm glad I don't have to throw them away.”, he said. “Let's hurry and have breakfast, yes?”  
  
The younger teen nodded and descended the last few steps, following the silver-haired male into the dining room, where Viktor's mother sat, impatiently tapping her coffee mug with the perfectly polished nail of her index finger. She only looked up from her drink once she noticed another presence in the room.  
  
“Ah, Vitya. Good morning. Your father still hasn't come down?”  
  
The young heir of the family shook his head. “He seems to be serious about the deal I told you earlier about.”  
  
Finally, the woman's gaze shifted to the raven-haired teen. “And this is the boy he wants to adopt?”  
  
“Yes, mother.”, the older of the teens nodded and took his seat next to the woman.  
  
Yuuri saw this as his cue to introduce himself. “I apologize for intruding into your family. My name is Katsuki Yuuri, it's a pleasure to meet you.”  
  
“Hmm...he knows basic etiquette, so it's good at least.”, the female spoke and stirred her coffee. “Why did your family abandon you, Yuuri? They clearly have enough money to raise you and they are kind-hearted people.”, she cut straight to the point. “So, did you commit any crimes or disgrace the family name?”  
  
Yuuri shifted from foot to foot and lowered his gaze. If he told the truth, they would surely hate him, right? It was no secret that Russians were homophobic and violent towards anyone who didn't fit the norm. But maybe it was his chance to get out of the whole adoption thing? “I have told them that I am homosexual, Mrs. Nikiforov. My father declared me dead on the spot and disappeared into his room. And when I woke up the next morning, my whole family was gone and they took most of my belongings with them.”  
  
Yuuri just stood there and expected the situation from one year ago to repeat itself. He braced himself to get yelled at, hit and then kicked out..  
  
_“Gay? Don't disgrace the Katsuki name. We worked so hard to build our reputation on nothing but pure physical labor!”, Toshiya yelled in Japanese, loud enough for all their room neighbors to hear._  
  
Yuuri shook his head “But father, I would never release it to the public, I just want to-”  
  
“Don't you dare talk to me in that tone, boy.”, the older male said, slapping his son across the face.

 _  
“Dad, I think that's enough!”, Mari chimed in, trying to help her sibling.  
  
“Don't interfere, Mari. Yuuri needs to learn his lesson and forget his absurd ideas.”  
  
Yuuri lowered his gaze. “But dad...I can't change it. Women just don't attract me like that-”  
  
“You are dead to me, Yuuri. Don't even dare to call yourself my son.”, Toshiya said with a frown and exited his son's room, slamming the door shut behind himself.  
  
_ But none of it happened. Mrs. Nikiforov just looked at him with wide eyes, her perfectly shaped red lips slightly parted in shock. “ _That's_ the reason they kicked you out? That's just plain stupid. Our Vitya has those tendencies too, but as long as he doesn't go public with that and maintains his perfect image, we...or at least I don't care.”  
  
“Thank you, Mrs. Nikiforov.”, the Japanese male said with a small blush, his heart skipping a beat as he experienced such acceptance for the first time. “You are very kind.”  
  
“Don't even mention it. Russia's president is kind of crazy for proposing those anti-gay laws even though it's scientifically proven that there is nothing wrong with the people. In fact, you can't even be held responsible for your tendencies, since it depends on your genes and...”, she trailed off, realizing that Yuuri was still standing. “Why don't you take a seat? Your breakfast will get cold.”  
  
“Ah, thank you.”, the younger male said, sitting down on the seat next to Viktor's and waiting for the head of the family to arrive.  
  
“You don't start eating?”, Viktor hummed, taking a bite of his pancakes. “It's good, trust me.”  
  
“Don't speak with a full mouth, Viktor.”, his mother said in a stern voice, then added in a softer tone. “But you are right. Yura should eat something.”  
  
“It's not that I don't appreciate the effort that went into preparing this meal...but Mr. Nikiforov isn't here yet, so I figured I should wait.”, the raven-haired male said and blushed a little. That was what his family taught him and Yakov always took the time to eat together with Yuuri, even though the Japanese male never ate much.  
  
“If you're waiting for dad, you are in for a long wait. He barely ever eats breakfast with us.”, the silver-haired male nodded. “So you can go ahead and eat or we might run late for school. You still need glasses, right?”  
  
“Right...”, Yuuri nodded. “We'll have to stop by Yakov's on our way to school.”  
  
With that, the younger male took the fork and the knife, cutting off a piece of the pancakes and putting it into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed, amazed by how different the taste was from what he was used to from Yakov's place. He loved both versions of pancakes, but the ones he had on his plate were less greasy and apparently made with more eggs, making them more fluffy than the thin ones he usually had for breakfast.  
  
“They're good, right?”, the older teen asked, as if reading his classmate's thoughts.  
  
But Mrs. Nikiforov spoke first. “Of course they are good. We pay quite a lot for this chef, it's nothing like self-cooked meals.”  
  
Yuuri smiled a little and nodded. It was really a different world that the Nikiforov family lived in. Sure, his family was also rich, but unlike the Russian medics, the Katsuki family led a humble life. They never had anything like a chef or a butler and they never wore such expensive clothes as Yuuri was wearing now. The shirt was at least 50 dollars and the jeans...the raven-haired male didn't even want to imagine the price tags on them.  
  
“Ah, by the way...Yuuri. I picked out a coat for you too. We should quickly finish eating so you can try it on.”, Viktor spoke up again, smiling sweetly. “I think it will go well with what you are wearing right now.”  
  
Mrs Nikiforov sighed. “You can't say 'by the way' if the topic we had beforehand has nothing to do with clothes.” then she looked up to Yuuri, who was slowly eating his breakfast. “But Yura indeed looks good. Also, you could let him teach you some manners, Vitya. You will be spending a lot of time together from now on after all.”  
  
“So you already accepted him as your son?”, the silver-haired male asked, disappointed that his plan failed.  
  
“Of course. He is polite and listens to the things I say unlike _someone._ It would be nice to at least have one son who listens to what I say for a change.”, the woman said, looking at the silver-haired male with a mocking smirk. “Yura will have to impress me with winning some competitions like you did, Vitya..but I am sure that he will manage to do so.”  
  
The young heir of the family sighed and rubbed his temple. There was his father forcing Yuuri into sexual acts and his mother pressuring the Japanese male to over-perform. Which competitions would she force the younger male to participate in? Would Yuuri even be treated with such lenience as to allow him to pursue his own hobbies or would he be forced into a mold that his parents already laid out?  
  
“Thank you for trusting me so much, Mrs. Nikiforov. I will do my best to perform to your expectations.”, the younger male said with a smile, but Viktor could tell how forced it was.  
  
The Russian teen briefly wondered if Yuuri's real parents were just like this as well, whether they made him do things their way. Considering how conservative they were, it didn't seem so far-fetched. Maybe his parents were even worse than the Nikiforov family was?  
  
“I am sure you'll do great with that attitude. Do you have any particular talents, Yura? I could sign you up for the according competitions during the weekend then.”, the woman asked, getting a notepad out of the pocket of her lab coat, to write down the strengths that the Japanese male had. Anything that would carry the Nikiforov name out there, gain more influence for the family...  
  
The raven-haired male looked down onto his half-empty plate, unable to take another bite. “I don't really have any talents, per se..”, he paused and sighed. “But if I were to name things that I consider myself good at...it would be drawing and ice skating.”  
  
“Ice skating?”, the woman echoed. “You look too thin to do figure skating professionally. But I will gladly watch you skate if you think you are up to the standards of the other Russian skaters in the senior division. I should have some free time on Sunday after the investors meeting.”  
  
Yuuri nodded and looked away. Back in Japan, he used to skate so often, just so he could escape the oppressive atmosphere that was his home. He brought out his frustrations to the ice, his jumps were always powerful and his step sequences always got praise. But it was never enough for his family. They always just laughed at him for having stupid dreams, they ridiculed his drawings..  
  
_You will never achieve anything like this.  
  
Stop chasing after unreal dreams and help out the family for once.  
  
_ “We have to go, Yuuri.”, Viktor said, getting up. “We wouldn't want to be late for school.”  
  
Yuuri nodded and got up as well, leaving the food that he couldn't finish on the table, seeing as Viktor did the same. He bowed respectfully again before leaving the table. “Thank you for the meal.”  
  
After he thanked the woman that still sat at the table, he followed Viktor into the hallway, where the younger male handed him a coat. It was a long brown coat with a hood, which Yuuri recognized from a magazine that Yakov had lying around in the lounge. If he recalled correctly, it was worth around 24 thousand rubles*, so he was reluctant to wear it. He never wore such expensive clothing before, it seemed unfitting to start doing so now.  
  
“Come on, put it on.”, Viktor urged on, smiling sweetly at his classmate. “You'll look great in this, I'm sure of it. Besides, you can't go outside in just your shirt.”  
  
“Alright...but what if it gets torn again?”, the raven-haired male asked, biting his lower lip nervously as he held the coat close to his chest. He noticed the distinct smell that it gave off. Viktor must have worn this not long ago.  
  
“It's one of the cheaper jackets I own, so it's fine. Besides, I will look out that nobody does anything to you. Trust me  a little more, alright?”  
  
Yuuri nodded. It was still too much for him to just be thrown into the Nikiforov family, have the person who bullied him for years protect him and be so nice to him. And the person who was the reason for his suffering was today to become his brother...  
  
In fact,everything was all happening too fast. He was so close to death just to be yanked back into a world that had seemingly turned upside down. Since the world had turned upside down...would Yakov be even willing to see him? Would the old man be angry and disappointed or would he simply be sad? Would the Russian even want to see him? After all, he got so much care throughout the last year, Yakov even tried to adopt him way before the Nikiforov family did so. And Yuuri thanked him by writing him a suicide note?  
  
He honestly felt like he was the worst person on earth. He slowly slipped the coat on and put on his shoes, this time walking ahead of Viktor as he went outside. What did he hope to achieve with his death except escaping the pain? Who except Yakov would even care? The silver-haired male had saved him, but Yuuri was sure that Viktor must have had some selfish reasons to do so...right?  
  
“Yuuri. You almost forgot your cell phone.”, the older teen said with a smile, handing the raven-haired male the device after looking up one specific thing on Yuuri's phone. He would get Yuuri out of here, no matter what. He wouldn't let his father have his way, he would find a way for the younger teen to escape, no matter if he would enrage his father or even turn the whole family against him. He spend the whole night thinking about what he could do to thwart the older male's plans of selling Yuuri to his friends and he had one particular idea.  
  
But sadly, for the idea to become reality, he had to wait for the perfect time and analyze the people he was up against.  
  
“Ah, thank you.”, the younger male said and put the device into his pocket, sighing a little. There was no point in mulling over what happened. He just hoped that Yakov would at least let him get his belongings and wouldn't kick him out immediately for how ungrateful he was. Not only did he try to kill himself, he never gave Yakov anything as thanks for saving him and protecting him the best he could. And now, he even let someone else adopt him, he left Yakov alone again...  
  
_That's what you get for your desire of 'freedom'.  
  
You had such a perfect family, everyone was smiling.  
  
Why didn't you play your role of the perfect son in the first place?  
  
_ It was too late for that. His family would never take him back in, he had no way of rewinding time. But maybe, he still could be the perfect son. Just smile and nod when Mr. Nikiforov reaches out to touch his skin. Win gold in all competitions so Mrs. Nikiforov will be happy. Smile for the new family picture and just submit to the wishes of others since his own wishes were so far out of reach.  
  
He still could start anew, he could be the son that his father wished for...  
  
_Kill your emotions, Yuuri._  
  
_A lawyer doesn't need such a burden._  
  
“Yuuri, what's wrong? You look so bleak.”, the older teen asked with a worried expression, looking into the big brown eyes of the raven-haired male intently.  
  
And Yuuri stared back at Viktor with the blank, cold expression, like a plastic mask of a doll, his voice monotonous as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards in a forced smile. “I'm just happy that I'll have a family again.”  
  
Viktor could see that something was terribly wrong, that the younger male had come to some sort of conclusion on his own that would slowly destroy him on the inside. And he knew he needed to do something against that, but for now he had no idea what to do. He knew that the only permanent solution would be to get Yuuri out of the Nikiforov residence..  
  
“I hope Yakov won't be too mad.”, the younger male finally spoke, voicing the one thing that still bothered him. If he could just leave the old man on good terms, he could put a lid on all of his emotions and fears. Toshiya would definitely be proud of such a mindset and Yuuri knew that emotions wouldn't do any good in his situation anyway. He already agreed to the terms that Mr. Nikiforov proposed, so there was no use in mulling over them.  
  
He would finally belong somewhere again...and this time, he would try not to lose it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *24 000 rubles = 412 dollars
> 
> Yuuri just wants to belong somewhere again, no matter what he has to sacrifice for that...  
> Also, sorry for the slow updates, I am very busy and stressed out in the last days.


	5. Something Lost and Something Gained

The two teens arrived at the cafe that doubled as a brothel at night, standing in front of the door. However, neither of them even did so much as to touch the handle, let alone open the door. They simply stared at the dark wood, as if some deeper meaning was carved onto it somewhere. Neither of them spoke, too, but it was obvious how nervous Yuuri was about meeting Yakov now. Viktor didn't blame the younger male, but he still knew he had to urge the Japanese teen on. The silver-haired male struggled for the right words, but he knew that if he said nothing, Yuuri would just continue standing there. So he finally cleared his throat and spoke up.  
  
“Why don't you go in, Yuri?”, he suggested in a soft voice, not wanting to sound too pushy.  
  
The raven-haired male lowered his gaze and nodded. “I know I have to face him eventually, but...”, he let out a long sigh, as if he carried a heavy weight and was exhausted from it. “...it's just so hard to look someone in the eye after announcing your suicide.”  
  
“I think he won't be angry at you, Yuuri.”, Viktor reassured. “From what I could piece together, he is a caring man.”  
  
The Japanese male nodded and swallowed audibly. He hesitantly reached out to the door handle, as if it was a snake that could bite him at any second. And honestly, he felt that way. It felt like the world was put on pause, like everything was building up to this moment of him pushing down the handle. As his fingers finally touched the cold metal surface of the door handle, however, Yuuri felt it bend down, someone else opening the door from the inside.  
  
Yuuri's head shot up as the door opened, his eyes widening when he looked at an equally wide-eyed Yakov. The old man just stood still in the doorway, staring at the teen with wide eyes for at least a minute, like he had seen a ghost. Both of them stood in silence, in shock over a meeting neither of them had anticipated.  
  
It was Yakov that broke the silence however. The Russian's head snapped back, calling back into the cafe to one of the staff.  
  
“Mila! Come here quick!”, the man barked, after which a young woman with red hair peeked up from over Yakov's shoulder, her blue eyes widening upon seeing the teen stand there.  
  
“Yuuri is back!”, she said with a happy smile, shoving the old Russian aside to pull Yuuri into a crushing hug. She let out a heartfelt sob and simply held the raven-haired teen close. “Please don't do things like these again. You had us all worried! We went searching for you, but we just couldn't find you anywhere. And then Yakov got the mail and...” Her voice cracked and she sobbed again, shaking her head as if to deny that the raven-haired male had ever tried to kill himself. “I'm glad you didn't do it...”  
  
“I...I did, actually.”, Yuuri said with a bitter smile. “I only survived thanks to Viktor.”  
  
Mila and Yakov both looked at the other teen who stood there with an awkward smile on his lips. He wasn't sure how to act when such an emotional reunion took place. He saw that the older Russian's eyes narrowed when their gazes met, so Viktor simply swallowed and waved. “I apologize for intruding. My name is Viktor-”  
  
“..Nikiforov.”, Yakov finished, spitting the name out like venom. “I know exactly who you are. So what do we owe you for saving Yuuri? Money? Or is your father more interested in a certain _'special'_ on tonight's menu?”  
  
The silver-haired male shook his head and flailed his arms. “I'm only doing this because Yuuri is my friend and I-”  
  
“I'm Viktor's soon to be brother, Yakov.”, the Japanese male corrected. As he looked up into the old man's eyes, he saw them widen in horror, after which Yakov also wrapped his arms around Yuuri protectively.  
  
“Over my dead body. I won't let that swine adopt you.”, the older male growled. He looked at the taller of the two teens with nothing but distrust. “Did Viktor save you so his father could have his way with you, hmm?”  
  
“Please don't be so suspicious of Viktor. He's been nothing but nice to me” _At least in the last 12 hours._ “Besides, I was already drowning. Viktor jumped into the water with me and saved me. He could have drowned.” _Maybe it would be better that way._ “Oh and Viktor opposed his father adopting me. I am the one who agreed.” _Because I was blackmailed._ “So please don't worry.”, the teen faked a smile, which he found scarily believable himself.

 

Yakov's eyes widened for a second, but the man seemed to let whatever arguments he had against the teen's decision go. He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “I don't know what got into you to drive you into accepting that offer, but I hope you remember that I had to use force to keep that man from raping you, I won't be there if it happens now...” He had no scruples to tell such dark secrets out loud in the presence of Viktor, completely ignoring the teen that stood there.   
  
“I know, Yakov.”, the raven-haired male said and nodded, keeping up the smile. “But you and I both know that my visa is expiring in three days. It's either getting adopted or being forced back to Japan. And I don't have the money for the ticket nor do I want to go to an orphanage.”  
  
The old man's forehead was once again covered in wrinkles, a stressed expression taking over his features. It was obvious that he thought of some other way around this, but it was also obvious that he couldn't come up with any alternate solution. “Come back after school today, Yuuri. I'll try to think of something else. I can't let that bastard have his way with you.”  
  
Mila nodded. “Agreed. Hold on, I'll bring you your bag and the contacts. I will also think of something else. There has to be a way.”, she gave the teen a thumbs up before rushing inside to get the things that Yuuri would need for school. The teen didn't respond to the suggestion of coming back after school until Mila handed him the small container with his contact lenses and his bag that certainly contrasted the neat clothing that he was wearing.  
  
The Japanese male took the things and smiled a little “Thank you.”, he paused to put the bag onto his shoulder, putting in his contact lenses and blinking a few times to let his eyes adjust to the sharper images of Yakov and Mila in front of him. As he saw the two clearly, he continued “I can't come here after school. Mr. Nikiforov will pick Viktor and I up and we'll go to hand in the adoption forms. My family already agreed.”  
  
“Already? When did they send the forms? How did they get in contact with that bastard?”, Mila asked, completely outraged about the situation.  
  
Yuuri simply shook his head. “My family are lawyers, remember? They deal with these things all the time. Also, my family always had good connections with the Nikiforovs. So, it's not surprising that my parents agreed to let me be adopted by them.”, he turned to face Viktor then and smiled. “We should get going or we'll miss school.”  
  
“Hold on, Yuuri! Don't go!”, Yakov called out, but the teen shook his head once again.  
  
Yuuri wrapped his arms around the older Russian, gently hugging him. “Dasvidanya, Yakov. I'll come back to gather my belongings when the time comes. Take good care of everyone, I know you will.”  
  
“Don't phrase it like you're disappearing forever!”, Mila scolded, tears glistening in the corners of her eye. “Idiot. You'll visit us, right?”  
  
Yuuri opened his mouth to answer, but quickly closed it again. He knew that if he were to tell the truth, that he might not be able to see either of them because of how strict his soon-to-be father was, but he decided against that. He didn't want to see Mila or Yakov cry, so he forced up another smile and nodded. “Of course! I'll see you two later then.”  
  
“I will look out for Yuuri to my best abilities, so please don't worry, Mr. Feltsman.”, Viktor promised and waved at the two before walking on ahead. “We really have to go to school now, Yuuri. Mr. Popovich will have our heads.”  
  
The raven-haired male chuckled at that. “Oh? What is he going to do against the great and mighty Viktor Nikiforov?”, he teased, but hurried after the silver-haired male, a genuine smile on his lips.  
  
As the two teens walked away talking to each other and laughing at each other's jokes, Yakov turned to Mila and smiled. “Maybe the adoption isn't as bad as we thought.”  
  
“Yeah. I have barely seen him smile like that. It might be Yuuri's first friendship that has began to blossom. That Viktor boy saved his life, too.”, the female nodded, seeming content with the situation for now. “We still need to be wary of the father, but the son seems like a nice person.”  


* * *

  
  
Viktor stopped by the restroom, telling the Japanese male to go on ahead to class. So, Yuuri did. Due to how cheerful and carefree his conversation with Viktor was, the teen had almost forgotten how gruesome their classmates were. But, with every step he took toward the classroom, his walk became slower and less confident. The images of the smug grin Yuri Plisetsky wore on his lips flooded back and his hands began to shake. He came to a complete stop, trembling as his mind reminded him of the pain he felt as the group of teens kicked down on him. His lips quivered, trying to whisper an apology, but his throat wouldn't let him get a sound out. His throat ached as if someone was holding it in a choking grip and for a moment, Yuuri believed that indeed, he was choking.  
  
He held his own throat, leaving his mouth wide open in a futile attempt to get more air into his system, but he failed, hyperventilating. The images in his head became more and more vivid and the world blurred for a moment, all noise mixing into a buzz until he realized that it wasn't his imagination any more. He realized that the teens that kicked him and mocked him yesterday were indeed standing next to him, surrounding him like a pack of wolves would on a stray deer.  
  
And Yuuri looked much like a deer, his eyes wide with fear, his eyebrows pulled up into a distressed look. He backed away from the group, taking quick steps backwards until his back hit a wall.  
  
Once the group of teens realized that their prey was cornered, Yuri spoke up. “Well, well. You seem to be doing well, pig.”, he teased, jamming his hands into his pockets. “Wearing designer clothing to school today, did you think it would change anything?”  
  
“He probably let some dude fuck him again for the money.”, the teen to the right of the blond said.  
  
The one on the left added. “Yeah. I think his last name was misspelled. Yuuri Katsuki? More like Yuuri Kat _suka*_ ”  
  
The raven-haired teen let out a small whimper as the group laughed and got even closer to him. He knew he had to do something, say something to make them stop, but he couldn't, his throat still felt dry and honestly he felt like he could pass out at any moment without the proper flow of oxygen in his system. He felt completely and utterly frozen in place. And the group that surrounded him seemed to have noticed that, because their grins grew wider and they mockingly said 'Yuurri Katsuka' over and over again, approaching the teen to try and harm him physically, as well. Before any of them could continue though, a stern, deep voice resounded from down the hall, a silver-haired figure looming behind the group of teens in a matter of seconds. “Yuuri _Nikiforov_ , if you may.”

 

The teens all turned their heads to look up at a very pissed-off Viktor.  
  
“The fuck did you say, Viktor?”, Yuri laughed, shaking his head as if the older teen just said the stupidest joke he ever heard. “Don't insult your family by calling the pig one of your relatives.”  
  
“I believe the only one insulting my family is you, Yuratschka.”, the older teen said with a serious, cold look. “Yuuri is my brother. If you keep insulting him, I'll let you all get expelled faster than you can even say the word 'pig' again. Did I make myself clear?”  
  
“Your brother? This little shit is your brother?”, the blond continued, shaking his head. “No fucking way. You're joking, right? He's more worthless than garbage!”  
  
Viktor's eyes narrowed even more and for the first time ever, he resorted to physical force. He grabbed the younger Russian by the collar and pulled him up against the nearest wall. “I guess I didn't make myself clear, huh? Listen close. You don't know shit about Yuuri and his talents, so don't fucking talk like you do.”, he paused and then grinned wickedly “And oh, what's that? Yuuri has actually better grades than you do. He sure as hell looks better than you do. And even if he didn't, who are _you_ to go against _my_ orders? Don't try me, Yuri Plisetsky Igorev**. Are we clear?”

 

“Whatever, just let me down.”, the teen huffed in defeat, hoping that Viktor would loosen his grip.  
  
But it wasn't enough for the older Russian. “I asked you if you understood me. Yes or No.”  
  
The voice of the silver-haired male was so cold and serious, so different from when he joked with Yuuri just a few minutes ago. The bright smile he wore while talking to the Japanese male was gone, his lips forming a thin line and his eyebrows furrowed. He had an intimidating aura around him, radiating authority and just daring anyone to say even one more word against Yuuri.  
  
And the raven-haired male knew he should try to tell Viktor that it was alright, that he was sure that the teens have understood their lesson, but his voice failed him. His panic mixed in with fear as his gaze fell onto the angry look on Viktor's face. He couldn't find the courage to tell the silver-haired male to calm down, to say that it wasn't worth it and that violence only brought about more violence, so he just look at the taller male with wide brown eyes, trembling slightly. He could at least breathe again, but with the look that Viktor wore right now, he still felt breathless.  
  
Apparently the look on his face was enough to make the older teen understand. He let go of Yuri's collar and let him fall onto the ground unceremoniously. “Mark my words. If you go against what I said, you'll regret ever being born. It's time for you to grow up and stop wasting your time bullying others to compensate for your lack of skills.”, he hissed out, shooting another glare to the group of teens which made them quickly disappear into the classroom. His expression then changed completely and he approached Yuuri with a sweet smile on his lips. “I'm sorry, I should have thought this through. Let's go to class, yeah? It's all fine now.”  
  
The younger teen nodded, but didn't look any calmer. He never knew that Viktor could even get violent. Sure, the silver-haired male always bullied him too, but he was calm and kept his distance. He never yelled, never resorted to physical violence, he was always so elegant. He didn't yell and kept his facial expression fairly calm right now as well, but somehow the actions of the older male scared Yuuri. It was just like M. Nikiforov this morning, when the man slapped Yuuri across the face, he didn't yell and looked very calm, but that made the man even more scary. The Japanese male got the same exact vibe from Viktor just now.  
  
What if he had said 'no' as Viktor asked him to go to class together? Would he get angry at him too? Was the gentle and sweet Viktor or the harsh and dark Viktor the real one?  
  
“You look quite shaken, Yuuri.”, the silver-haired male sighed as he saw the look on the younger male's face. Yuuri looked so stressed out, he probably didn't yet know this side of him. “I'm sorry...”  
  
The Japanese male quickly looked up in surprise. Could Viktor see that he was uncomfortable with the way he behaved? “What are you apologizing for?”, he asked. Surely, the older male apologized for something else...  
  
“I'm sorry I snapped. I didn't mean to scare you, but I just can't allow my past mistakes to keep ruining your future. I wanted to make clear that nobody is to hurt you again. If I can't protect you at home, I at least want to do so at school.”, the older male explained, stopping in his walk, right in front of the door to their classroom. He then rambled on. “And you know...I need to talk to you about something in private during break. I just don't want you to see me as the bad guy. I can understand if you don't want to forgive me after all I've done. But I-”  
  
Yuuri was quick to interrupt “I forgive you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here...not that I'm saying that it wouldn't be better without me. Still, I'm thankful.”, he said with a small, forced smile on his lips, opening the door to their classroom, just to have Viktor pull it close again.  
  
Before the younger teen could ask what was wrong, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and Viktor held him close, trembling as if he was cold. At the same time, he felt the fabric of the black v-neck shirt get wet, finally realizing that Viktor was _crying._ He didn't know why, he didn't know what or whom he was crying for, but the older male cried. He turned his head to look at the older male's face, finally finding it in himself to voice the question that he had on his mind.  
  
“Why are you crying? I just told you that everything is fine, you don't have to-”  
  
The silver-haired male interrupted. “Nothing's fine. Stop acting like your life has become fantastic now, because I know it hasn't. How can you keep up that smile and accept all I did to you just like that? Why aren't you resisting? Why don't you hate me?”  


Yuuri looked away and pried the older male's arms off of himself to turn around and face the older male again. His eyes were dull and emotionless as he looked into the vivid, glassy apatite eyes of the Russian. “There is no point trying to change something that can't be changed. There is no use crying over something you can't change either. There is just no point for me to expect anything from a life I've already given up once, so don't cry for my sake and use those tears on someone who deserves it.”  
  
With that, he headed into the classroom, ending their conversation abruptly. He was not about to continue talking about this topic or he knew that the fake perfect image of this world he had created for himself to block out the negative thoughts might just crumble down again. He just wanted to belong. He wanted to have a happy family. He didn't want to see Viktor cry, not for such a reason as him giving up. After all, Yuuri has gotten quite used to the feeling. Giving up was much easier than struggling, that's what he learned from both, his own father and Mr. Nikiforov. Giving up selfish wishes and idiotic hopes would make those around you happy and in turn, it would hurt you less. Had Yuuri given up in the first place, he would still live in Japan with his family, he would still hear dad's meaningless banter over dinner, have his sister tease him and joke around with him. His mother would still smile at him as she would serve him katsudon or woke him up in the morning.  
  
But it was too late to change it, so it was no use just standing around and regretting it. He got a second chance to make everything right. He still had a chance to have a father who was proud of him, a mother who would smile at him every time he achieved something and a sibling who would be his best friend. There was only one price to pay and Yuuri was already determined to do so. As soon as he sat down, he deleted the instagram account that he posted his art on and opened his textbook.  
  
_This would make his new family proud._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Viktor can't come to accept that Yuuri has given up and he cries because he thinks that it is partially his fault that it had to come to this.  
> On the other hand, Yuuri starts to believe that he did something wrong by being himself and that was the reason he lost his previous family.  
> I'm reflecting on some personal trouble here, so forgive me if the writing is really chaotic and all over the place in this chapter.
> 
> *suka - bitch in Russian (Wordplay of teenagers is super creative)  
> **Igorev - 'son of Igor' In Russia, the name of the father with the appropriate gender-specific ending is added to your first and last names. If someone calls you by your full name, they usually mean business.


	6. Futile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has absolutely nothing positive.  
> Warnings for Drug use and a gross Mr. Nikiforov.

Mr. Nikiforov was true to his word of picking the two teens up after school. As soon as the last bell rang, he parked his black Mercedes in front of the school and stepped out, wearing designer shades and a gray suit. The silver-haired teen saw the image of his father clearly from the second-floor window in class. If Viktor didn't know better that this was indeed his father standing over there, he would have mistaken the man for a member of the mafia with that getup and the tinted car windows.  
  
“Yuuri, looks like we have to go. Dad's here”, he said and pointed to the window, prompting Yuuri to lean over and look out and see for himself.  
  
Upon confirming that it was indeed the older of the two Nikiforovs standing out there, the Japanese male nodded and stood up, packing his books into his bag and throwing it over his shoulder, ready to get out. Their homeroom teacher cleared his throat and gave the two teens who started packing a critical glance. Of course, Viktor noticed that and was quick to respond.  
  
“Mr. Popovich, I understand that you are about to say 'the teacher ends the lesson, not the ring of a bell', but you will have to say that to my father. You see, Mr. Nikiforov is here to pick Yuuri and I up and you don't want to make him wait, believe me.”, the silver-haired male said with a small smirk.  
  
The teacher raised an eyebrow. “Katsuki* will be picked up by your father? May I ask the purpose of that?”  
  
“Yuuri will become my brother, so we need to take care of some paperwork. So in the future, you may call him Nikiforov, too.”, Viktor explained and took the younger teen's hand and ignoring the doubtful look that their teacher gave them. “If you have any complaints, direct them towards our father.”  
  
After saying that, Viktor led the Japanese male out of the class to meet up with their father. Just before closing the door, Yuuri smiled at his teacher and called out to him.“See you on Monday, Mr. Popovich.”  
  
“You seem quite optimistic despite everything..”, the older male said as they were out in the halls and walked down the stairs to meet Mr. Nikiforov at the entrance.  
  
Yuuri nodded. “Why shouldn't I be? I have a family, after all.” And as long as he would do everything just the way his new family wanted him to do it, everything would be fine. They could all be happy.  
  
Viktor turned around and grabbed Yuuri's shoulders to look into his eyes. His blue eyes were focused on the hazel eyes of the younger male, his eyebrows pulled up into an expression of pure distress. “You don't get it, Yuuri, that man, he-”  
  
The older teen didn't get to finish, a deep, baritone voice cutting him off. “There are my two boys. How was your day?”, Mr. Nikiforov asked with a big smile on his lips, one of his arms wrapping around Yuuri's waist and the other going around Viktor's shoulders.  
  
“Hi, dad.”, Viktor responded with an equally fake smile of his. He wanted to push this man away, grab Yuuri's hand and run away. But he knew that his father would find him, no matter where he went. Thus, he simply replied “It was fine, as usual.”  
  
Yuuri on the other hand looked really happy as he looked at the older Russian. “The school was fun today! How was your day, papa?”  
  
“Why thank you for asking, Yuuri. It was quite stressful, but I managed because I had my two beautiful sons to look forward to.”, the man said with the same saccharine grin on his lips. “What do you say if we stop standing around here? I already got your coats for you since the janitor was nice enough to hand them out to me.”  
  
“Alright. Let's go hand in those forms.”, Viktor said with a small sigh. There was really no way around it, huh? But why did Yuuri seem so happy about it? He would simply be his father's toy, why didn't the teen see that?  
  
Mr. Nikiforov's grin widened into something almost psychotic. “About that...I got off work early, so I took care of that. I wanted to surprise you two today.”  
  
“Surprise us?”, Yuuri echoed, his lips forming into a small confused pout. “The fact that you already took care of the adoption yourself is quite the surprise in itself.”  
  
Viktor nodded in agreement. “Don't they usually require the personal data and a written agreement of Yuuri himself?”, he paused and then shook his head upon seeing the look on his father's face. “Forget it. The great Dmitri Nikiforov can do what he wants as long as the money is right, huh?”  
  
“Well said, Vitya. You know how things work, Money beats all.”, the older Russian praised and stroked his son's hair, after which he finally let go of the two teens and turned to take his leave. “Well, let's waste no time. We have a busy day ahead of us.”  
  
Yuuri nodded and hurried after the older Russian. Viktor reached out to try and hold the younger male back, but as he opened his mouth to call out to Yuuri, he couldn't get out a sound. Why? Why was he so scared of just calling the younger male and trying to get him some distance from his father? He knew he had the duty to keep Yuuri away from his father for as long as he could, but he just couldn't. It could be his father's intimidating presence, it could be his own fear of the consequences that would follow once the older Russian realized that he was set onto sabotaging his plans of selling Yuuri to his friends.  
  
“Viktor, aren't you coming?”, the Japanese male asked with a sweet smile, but it was already showing the first cracks. He already knew that the inevitable was drawing near.  
  
Viktor could tell that Yuuri was pushing himself to believe that they had a perfect family, that he wasn't just another tool for the Nikiforov family to become more famous and make even more money. He lied to himself to make it hurt less...It was just like his father once said, that if you pretend to feel a certain way, you might end up genuinely believing that feeling. Maybe Yuuri was trying to block out all the negativity and make himself believe that the adoption was truly his only way to be happy again? Was he over-analyzing the small cracks in the younger male's smile or was he actually on to something? Either way, he knew he had to get Yuuri out of here as soon as he could.  
  
“I'm coming.”, Viktor said, his voice coming out dry and emotionless. He hated the smile Yuuri was wearing right now. He wanted the younger teen to be true to his emotions, to say what was wrong, to openly admit how terrible he felt. Viktor felt like a prick now, complaining over a life that was perfect compared to what Yuuri has been through. His parents didn't kick him out, he always had a warm house, he never struggled for money or survival and he most definitely didn't have to sell his body, all the while being worried that police might take notice of that. He realized that the Japanese male lived the past year in constant fear of being caught, of people reporting Yakov to the police and ruining both their lives.  
  
And yet here Yuuri was, smiling like the happiest child on earth just because he now had a man whom he could call father, just because he has a warm bed to sleep in at night. Because he knew how to make his new family proud. How could he not see that this was the reason Yuuri suppressed all the negative thoughts? He was so focused on analyzing the younger male's behavior that he didn't notice his father call out to him.  
  
“Vitya, is something the matter? Aren't you happy about my announcement right now?”, the older Russian frowned in confusion.  
  
“Yeah! An acting lesson sounds really great, doesn't it?”, Yuuri nodded, getting into the car's passenger seat while Viktor got into the back.  
  
“Wait, what?”, Viktor looked at his father in disbelief, fastening his seat belt. “You are letting me take acting lessons? Didn't you say that it's useless, that it's a waste of time?”  
  
“I changed my mind. I can't judge something I've never seen, after all. I will drive you to your first lesson right now and I'll pick you up later this evening.”, the man said with a smug grin that said 'so you won't be in my way', looking at his son through the mirror. “Aren't you glad?”  
  
“Thank you dad.”, the silver-haired male said with a small faked smile. “Will Yuuri come with you to pick me up?”  
  
“No, no. Why should he? He has better things to do.”, the older Russian chuckled, looking at the raven-haired male. “Isn't it right, Yuuri?”  
  
Viktor couldn't take it any more. He slammed his fist against the door and hissed. “Better things? What better things? Having you fuck him into the mattress until he faints? I already know that mom will be gone until tomorrow evening. That gives you just enough time to do whatever you want, doesn't it?”  
  
“My, my. Aren't you the smart one?”, the older Russian chuckled and shook his head. He started up the motor and drove off before he continued. “If you want to know it so badly, then yes. I plan on finally having good sex since years. Yuuri has already proven that he is really good at what he does, giving me a heavenly blow job before the security rushed in and dragged me out just after I-”  
  
“You're disgusting.”, Viktor interrupted, his voice growing louder and more annoyed. “Yuuri isn't even half your age!”  
  
The older man chuckled. “So what? A whore is a whore. Besides, if age is your main point, why don't you try him out yourself? You do like men, after all.”  
  
The silver-haired teen glared back at his father through the mirror,. “Please just shut up. My point is that you're a sick bastard. You are exploiting his feelings and-”  
  
“Viktor. It's alright.”, Yuuri said with a calm smile on his lips. “If papa is happy with what I do, then I am happy to do it.”  
  
“You should be more like Yuuri.”, Mr. Nikiforov laughed. “At least one of you isn't ungrateful to what I'm doing for you.”  
  
The silver-haired male sighed. It was always like this, his father would always just say how ungrateful he was being. “Forget the acting lesson. I'm coming home with you.”  
  
“Aren't you the naughty one?”, the older Russian laughed. “You know that you can't stop me, right? So, do you want to hear Yuuri's sweet moans or perhaps you'd prefer to join the fun?”  
  
“I know I can't stop you. But I don't want to owe you any more that I already do. If I take the acting lesson now, you'll hold it against me for the next three years, like you are doing with all the other shit right now.”, the teen spat, stubbornly looking out of the window. Why did his father insist on being so difficult? Couldn't he see how much he hurt and damaged Yuuri? Or did he simply not care as long as his own desires were being fulfilled? If so, what would happen if he grew tired of the younger teen?  
  
Viktor knew he had to do something, that he had to act today, before the adoption was fully in effect. He knew he had to get Yuuri out of that house. And due to how soon his father decided to sexually assault the younger teen, Viktor decided he had no choice other than go through with the drastic measure. He wanted to think of something where Yuuri wouldn't have to suffer through the man's touches at all, but there was no more time for coming up with any backup plans.  
  
“Well, we're home.”, the older Russian said, smiling at the raven-haired teen. “I told the butler to go home early today and the cook won't show up for another three hours, so I believe we should get straight to business.”  
  
“Business”, Viktor repeated in a mocking tone, rolling his eyes. He got out of the car and slammed the door shut to show his distaste. He wouldn't ever approve of these actions, nor would he simply accept the fact that Yuuri was being used like that. “Makkachin! Come here, boy.”, he called, heading into the house with his dog.  
  
His father quickly got out of the car and yelled at his son. “Viktor, that mutt is _not_ allowed inside the estate and you know it fully well!”  
  
“Makkachin doesn't quite make as much of a mess as you will do in the guest room.”, the silver-haired male spat, ushering his dog to come into the house. “Let's go, Makkachin. No need to listen to creepy pedophiles.”  
  
“That boy..”, Mr. Nikiforov hissed, gritting his teeth and shooting a glare towards Yuuri. “You won't disobey me like he did, is that clear?”  
  
The Japanese teen froze in fear, lowering his head and nodding just slightly. “I w-won't, dad.”  
  
“You stuttered.”, the older male noted, his eyes narrowing. “Come with me, Yuuri.”

 

At the commanding voice, Yuuri flinched again, but obeyed without any further comment. He knew that if he said something, he would make Mr. Nikiforov even angrier, which could in turn mean that he would get hurt even worse. Thus, he quickened his steps, joining the Russian in the hallway. He only stopped to remove his shoes and change into house slippers, but that small, quick action alone was enough to make the older male impatient.  
  
“What's taking you so long?”, the older male groaned in annoyance.  
  
“I-I was just changing my shoes so that-”  
  
“Fuck it. If that filthy dog is allowed in, I don't see the point in you changing your shoes. I've been waiting for six months to fuck you, Yuuri.”, the man growled, grabbing the younger male by the shirt and pulling him close. “I can't wait any longer.”  
  
The raven-haired male squeezed his eyes shut and held up his hands to his head to protect himself from any potential hits that could come his way. Luckily, none came. Instead, Yuuri heard a small click as a bottle cap was unscrewed. Confused, he opened one eye again, to see the man hold a bottle that was only the size of a shot glass.  
  
“Open your mouth, Yuuri.”, the man said, bringing the bottle close to the younger male's face.  
  
It had a sickening sweet smell, which made Yuuri flinch away for a second, but the older male would have none of it. He grabbed the teen's chin and pushed his thumb into the younger male's mouth to pry it open.  
  
“I thought you said you'd be obedient.”, the older male hissed. “Do you want me to get angry, Yuuri?”  
  
“I-I'm sorry..”, the raven-haired male said, keeping his mouth open this time.  
  
The Russian chuckled. “Good boy. I'm only doing this for your sake, you know?”, he said with a sick, sadistic grin. “That is, if the drug works.”  
  
After that, the bottle was pressed against the teen's lips and the liquid was poured into his mouth. It was a warm, sweet substance which was viscous like honey, but had a much more artificial taste. Yuuri frowned in disgust over how extremely sweet the substance was, but he knew that if he didn't swallow every last drop of it, he would have to deal with more than just disgusting sweetness.  
  
“Good boy.”, the Russian repeated, patting Yuuri's head gently and dropping the empty bottle onto the ground. “It wasn't so hard, was it?”  
  
The younger male shook his head, leaning into the touch on his hair. Somehow it felt so great to just have the fingers card through his hair. He noticed that his skin has become more sensitive to the touch, it tingled from the mere proximity of the older male, he started to feel excited. He heard his own breathing become more ragged and his heartbeat quickening, making his whole body weak, his knees giving in as he sank onto them.  
  
“Hmm..was that too much?”, the older male hummed, tracing his hand along the younger male's neck to draw a soft moan from the teen. After that, he bit into the tender skin on the neck and sucked, until a mark appeared there. Yuuri was feebly clinging to the Russian's shirt for any kind of support or he was sure he'd simply curl up on the floor. He barely even registered the older male's next words, the world was swimming before his eyes already. “You are a lightweight, after all.”  
  
Dmitri picked up the small teen, carrying him upstairs into the guest room, which was now Yuuri's. The teen wouldn't stop trembling, his eyes half-lidded and glassy and a dark red blush spread over his cheeks. The Russian laid Yuuri onto the bed and took off the teen's shirt before he swiftly tied the slender wrists of the younger male to the headboard.  
  
“I would love to simply fuck you right now when you look at me with such a needy, sweet look. But I will go out for a smoke first. If you are still conscious when I return, then we'll proceed.”, Mr. Nikiforov chuckled and stroked the smooth skin of the the teen. “Be good while I'm gone, yes?”  
  
Yuuri felt like his whole body was on fire. The burn of the tie on his wrists was nothing compared to how the rest of his body felt. He needed to be touched, he couldn't even think of anything else. “P-Please, don't go..”  
  
He didn't care about something as stupid as pride any more, he simply knew that every little touch was driving him mad, so when the Russian leaned down to kiss him, Yuuri moaned against the rough lips, craving more. He tried to chase after the Russian's lips with his own, but he was yanked back onto the bed by the restraints on his hands, the tie biting into his skin and leaving an angry red mark on his wrists.  
  
“I would love to comply and touch your pretty skin, my sweet, sweet Yuuri.”, Mr. Nikiforov purred. “But I wouldn't want to fuck you while you're unconscious. After all, it's only half the fun if I don't get to hear you moan.”  
  
With that, the Russian turned around and left the room, ignoring the small whines from the younger male. He already looked forward to returning to this room, but he knew he had to be patient now if he wanted to see the teen become a wreck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - in Russia, teachers call students by their last names
> 
> I understand if you want to drop the story after this chapter, This is pretty gross after all.  
> But I feel better after letting my favorite character suffer and this is the point of a vent fic, right?


	7. Tag, You're It

As soon as the sound of the balcony door opening could be heard, Viktor knew it was his chance. He had exactly five minutes to get to the guestroom, somehow mount the younger male onto his shoulders and then escape with him and Makkachin, hoping that his dad wouldn't catch him before he could hide somewhere. But this was no time for hesitations or second thoughts, he had to do it now before his father returned to finish what he was set on doing. He commanded the poodle to remain sitting in the hallway, after which he tip-toed into the guest room, gasping at the state he found the younger teen in.  
  
The raven-haired male was sweating and panting heavily as he squirmed around on the bed to get some friction on his over-sensitive skin. His hands were a dark red color, turning a purplish hue due to how tight the restraints were. He didn't even notice Viktors presence in the room over his delusional state, not until the silver-haired male cut through the tie that restrained him with a small switchblade. Viktor carried the blade wherever he went ever since his mother gave it to him with the words 'Russian streets are not safe to walk your dog on'. And for once Viktor was glad he didn't misplace the knife.  
  
“V-Vik-”, the Japanese male stuttered out just to have the older teen press his finger against his lips.  
  
“Shh.”, Viktor shushed before carefully putting a jacket around the younger male's shoulders. He already figured that at least a part of Yuuri's body would be exposed and he couldn't let the younger male go out like this. But he also knew that he didn't have the time to try and help the raven-haired male into the jacket properly right now, so he settled for letting Yuuri wear it like a cape before he kneeled down. “Can you please get onto my back?”  
  
“But dad will-”  
  
The silver-haired male sighed. Of course, Yuuri was just as scared of the consequences as he was, maybe even more so, since he'd have to face a more dire punishment. But Viktor knew that they couldn't allow themselves to hesitate. He had about two more minutes to bolt out of the room with Yuuri and simply hope he'd find a tram to hop onto. He didn't even care which direction the tram was headed to, he simply needed to get Yuuri out, to buy time to call for help. Thus, he wrapped an arm around the younger male's legs and lifted him up, causing the Japanese male to fold in half with his belly resting on Viktor's shoulder.  
  
It was not the most comfortable way to carry a person, but for now it would do. They had no time for discussions, they needed to get out right now. Viktor heard the balcony door close again, so without any second thoughts, he bolted out of the room with Yuuri draped over his shoulder, rushing down the stairs after he beckoned the poodle to follow.  
  
He was happy that he trained Makkachin well, so the dog understood even the simplest of gestures despite still being just a pup.  
  
“Huh, Viktor, where are you- Wait, is that Yuuri you're carrying?!”  
  
The silver-haired male heard a baritone voice call out to him from upstairs, but his own heartbeat was louder than anything his father could say. He could faintly hear his father tell him to stop, that there would be dire consequences for them both if he didn't, but he forced his legs to move even faster, to outrun the storm that approached them in form of one middle-aged man. He could feel the man get closer, another pair of feet crushing the freshly fallen snow with loud crunching noises. That's when the poodle seemed to understand the situation, biting down on the older man's pant leg to make him fall before he joined the two teenagers in their escape.  
  
“Good boy, Makkachin..”, the silver-haired male said, running onwards to the next tram station. He prayed to every God that was out there that they could hop on a tram without delays. Viktor was starting to feel exhausted from running with Yuuri still draped over his shoulder. While the younger teen was really thin and light, carrying him around in such a manner was pretty painful and it slowed him down. Sure, Makkachin bought them some time by making his father fall, but Viktor knew that the man would soon catch up again.  
  
His heart skipped a beat from the joy he felt as he saw the tram pull over and he mentally thanked every deity he was familiar with for saving them. Of course, the chase was far from over since his father could track them down everywhere, but it would buy them time while Mr. Nikiforov went to fetch his car and started tracking them down. He quickly hopped up the steps and sat Yuuri onto one of the vacant seats on the tram, pushing his hand into the pocket of the jacket he had draped over the younger male's shoulders to pull out some change to pay for the tickets.  
  
Once the conductor has disappeared into the driver's cabin to chat with the driver, Viktor finally turned to face the Japanese male again and he smiled gently so he wouldn't startle his friend. Despite Viktor being the one who did all the running as they escaped, Yuuri was panting heavier than the Russian teen was.  
  
“Yuuri, let me help you get dressed properly.”, he said and reached out to pull on the jacket, only to have Yuuri shake his head energetically.  
  
The teen looked up at Viktor with a dark, lustful gaze. “It's too hot.. I don't want to get dressed even more..”  
  
At the protest, the silver-haired male had to swallow, seeing as nobody has given him quite as an intense look as Yuuri did now. He didn't know what to do. Yuuri would surely catch a cold if he continued to run around like this in the snow outside, but he also knew how uncomfortable Yuuri would feel with the fully buttoned jacket that would surely rub against his skin and cause him to feel even more sensitive.  
  
The Russian decided that they would need a building to stay in, where Yuuri could have some privacy, too. Yakov's cafe was off limits since that was probably the first place his dad would check, knowing that it was Yuuri's safe zone. So, he had no other choice than to hope that Mr. Popovich could let them stay at an empty classroom or the infirmary until he could call for help.  
  
Viktor had already made the first step, sending Yuuri's parents a peculiar video along with the text 'You might want to come to Russia and save your son'. He was glad that he decided to look up the number just in case before he returned Yuuri's cellphone to him this morning. He was also glad that his father was dumb enough to drug Yuuri in the hallway, so he could easily film the occurrence with his phone. In the video, his father clearly said how he wished to fuck the raven-haired male, that he gave him a drug and that he _hoped_ he didn't overdose. It was a shame that he was in such a rush to leave or else he would have taken the small bottle that had contained the drug as well.  
  
Of course, the silver-haired teen felt like the worst person on the planet for filming it instead of saying something, but in the end it was evidence that proved his father guilty that he held in his hands. Once they arrived at school, he would also send this video to his mother. He knew that he, a mere teenager, couldn't stand a chance against the great and mighty Mr. Nikiforov. But there was something that his father once told him that Viktor would use against the man. That money can be beaten by more money. And since his mother already owned 60% of the clinic due to his father going after his desires and not his work, she was richer than his dad. She would surely know what to do. After all, she was just waiting for a chance to get rid of the man. She even didn't keep her meetings with other men a secret, hoping that she would get a divorce.  
  
But that was beside the point. Viktor knew that his mother actually _cared_ for him and didn't just use him as a tool. She even tried to sign him up for a drama rehearsal one day. Sure, she hoped he would then go on and win some championships, but she listened to his wishes, she tried to help him. And now, Viktor was sure she could save them again, he simply needed to get a hold of her now.  
  
“Viktor...”, the younger male asked in an insecure voice, calling Viktor's attention back to himself. “Aren't you...scared?”  
  
“I'm not.”, the Russian lied, smiling sweetly. “You know, I always wondered what it would be like to finally be a hero. To do something that matters to someone.”  
  
“Y-You..already saved my life.”  
  
The silver-haired male gave his friend a flirty smile, winking at him despite how loud his heart was beating from the anxiety. “But I want to give you a life where you can truly be happy.”  
  
Yuuri's heart skipped a beat and if he wasn't already feeling so hot, he probably would blush at these words. What did he do that changed Viktor's attitude towards him completely? He couldn't think straight anyway, so it was pointless to mull over it now, but it was something he should ask the older male sometime.  
  
“How about you?”, Viktor continued talking, cocking his head to the side curiously. His shoulder-long hair was tickling the collarbone that was exposed due to the crop of the shirt. “Are you feeling scared?”  
  
The Japanese male smiled feebly and leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the tram window, hoping to release at least a part of his body heat. “To be honest...I'm too far gone to feel anything except for...y-you know..”  
  
It was really unbelievable that someone as shy as Yuuri used to work at a brothel and was apparently the talk of the town. But then again, maybe it was this shyness that attracted the people? Viktor could only smile as he saw the raven-haired male fidget in his seat, stealing nervous glanced up at him. He decided it would be best to steer away from the uncomfortable topic and let Yuuri in on his plan.  
  
“I think it would be best if we head back to school grounds. The extracurricular activities are still happening, so the school is still open. From there I will call my mother and tell her what happened.”, the older male said with a small smile. “How does it sound?”  
  
“I think...you should call her now.”, Yuuri looked away in shame and sighed. “He might catch up with us soon.”  
  
Viktor nodded and gently touched the younger male's upper arm. “I'm going to make the call now. I will have to tell her about what happened once we see her. Is that okay?”  
  
“Yeah. But please...don't touch me too much.”, the raven-haired teen said with a small sigh, pressing himself closer to the wall to escape the hand that still lingered on his skin. It tingled and his body craved more, so he swallowed audibly to calm his nerves. “I don't want to...make you uncomfortable.”  
  
“It's fine. Even if something were to happen, I know what _he_ did to you. I wouldn't blame you for anything.”, the silver-haired male nodded and tapped on his phone, dialing the number of his mother. “I won't provoke it though.”  
  
Yuuri nodded. He was grateful that the older teen was so understanding and protected him. It made the raven-haired male even more ashamed of the fact that he simply wanted to throw himself at Viktor right now. He hated the way his arousal wanted to take control of his actions, he wouldn't let this ruin the bond he formed with Viktor.  
  
“Mom. This is an emergency...I know you finally have a night out with your friends..”, your _boyfriend_ , Viktor corrected mentally and then sighed. “No, dad isn't drunk. It's worse.”  
  
Yuuri flinched, trembling slightly. If that was how the man was when he was sober, the raven-haired male didn't even want to imagine how Mr. Nikiforov behaved when he was drunk. And since Viktor's mother assumed that an emergency occurred because the man was drunk...did something happen in the past to Viktor?  
  
“Yes. Please come to the school grounds. Yuuri and I will try to hide there and stall for time. Yes, I'll explain it all to you soon, just please make sure that dad won't get us..”, Viktor said, sounding genuinely worried. The silver-haired male didn't even want to imagine what would happen if his father caught them.  
  
“We have to get off here..”, Yuuri noted, pulling the jacket tighter around himself and glancing up at the older teen.  
  
“Mom, I have to hang up. Please come quickly, alright?”, the taller of the two teens said, practically begging by then. “Thirty minutes? I hope we can manage..yeah. Love you too, mom.”  
  
Yuuri tried to get up, but his knees were still too weak. Especially after sitting for a prolonged period of time, his body rejected the sole idea of getting up. He sighed and sank back down onto the seat.  
  
“Put the jacket on, Yuuri. I'll carry you out.”, Viktor said in a soft, gentle tone. “But this time, I'm taking you on my back, so we can move faster should something happen.”  
  
The younger teen nodded, understanding the subtext that something probably would happen. After all, Mr. Nikiforov had seen them. They were both barely dressed, so being outside was out of question. And the only two places they could find shelter in for prolonged periods of time were Yakov's place and the school. They took no money for a hotel, just the change Viktor had in his pocket and a cafe wouldn't let them stay unless they bought something. Viktor was certain that his father would check Yakov's place first, so he could at least stall a little.  
  
However, when they got out of the tram, they saw the black Mercedes parking in the driveway to the main gate. The silver-haired male froze in his tracks and Yuuri looked up to see what kept the older teen, only to widen his eyes at the familiar car.  
  
“Thirty minutes will be a death sentence.”, the Russian realized, the poodle whimpering to express the distress the teen was in. “We should look for an alternative.”  
  
“Should we simply take shelter under the Neva river bridge? It's not too far from here.”, Yuuri suggested, clinging to the fabric of Viktor's shirt.  
  
The Russian nodded. “We should at least stop standing here. Come, Makkachin.”

 

With the command, he attracted the attention of a painfully familiar man in a charcoal gray suit, who stared directly at them with a sadistic smirk on his lips. There was no way other than running now. Viktor's heart sped up and he tightened his grip on the younger male's thighs before he dashed away as quick as his feet would carry him. His father has been lurking at the front gate, just waiting for them to get out and step forward. His car's motor was still running, too.  
  
No doubt, he planned to quickly push them both into the car and drive off. Viktor would have none of that though. He ran in the opposite direction, confused as he didn't hear his father's footsteps behind them. Yuuri was quick to explain that though.  
  
“V-Viktor! He's in his car!”, the teen warned, causing Viktor to turn on his heel again and run into the school building.  
  
“Our best bet is to hide now. He doesn't know the school as well as we do and since he got into his car, he'll waste some time with getting out of it again.”, the older male explained, dashing up the stairs and turning corners to get into the music room. That was his safest bet to hide since the room was so cramped with different things. “Makkachin, come here and sit, boy.”, he commanded the dog to sit down under the teacher's desk while he and Yuuri both hid in the utility closet. He gently set the younger male down before squeezing into the tight space of the closet himself, too. They stood there, with Viktor holding the younger teen close to provide support for standing upright for so long. It seemed that the light music club hasn't yet assembled, which was good. Hopefully they could stay like this for the next thirty minutes...  
  
Yuuri had a hard time keeping his breathing under control due to the drug still being in effect and Viktor being so painfully close to him. Thus, he leaned down to rest his head on the silver-haired male's shoulder and quickly bit down on the fabric of the older teen's shirt to muffle the sounds he made. Since the older male said nothing against the action, the raven-haired male just kept at it. They stood in complete darkness and silence, afraid to make even the tiniest of sounds that would give them away. For a moment, Yuuri was even afraid that his own heartbeat was too loud, since he was hyperaware of every little sound.  
  
They didn't know how many minutes or seconds had passed, they simply stood there without moving, listening to the sounds outside that could give away the older Russian. They heard noises through the wall, the gruff voice of Mr. Nikiforov as he spoke to someone, probably asking about the whereabouts of the two teens.  
  
They couldn't see out into the room from the closet, but they heard a distinct click of the door being opened, heavy steps resounding through the room and stopping right before the closet before growing more distant again, the clicking of the heels distinct against the hard flooring. The door was shut again and the two teens let out a breath that they held until now. That was clearly the sound of Mr. Nikiforov's polished shoes on the wooden floor, it was definitely the man who stood just a few inches away from them but luckily decided against looking into the closet.  
  
Viktor pulled out his cellphone and texted his mother that they were hiding in the closet in the music room, so she knew where to look when she arrived. He also took the opportunity to glance at the clock, smiling a little. They just needed to stay like this for ten more minutes, just a little bit more and they would be freed.  
  
The joy of the silver-haired male was short-lived, however. It seemed that the light music club had gathered earlier than expected, for a girl's voice shrieked through the room.  
  
“T-There's a dog under the desk! A dog under our teacher's desk!”, she screamed loudly, like an alarm that went off. “Please don't tell me I'm the only one who sees this poodle!”  
  
“Fuck.”, Viktor cursed from inside the closet, opening the door to step back into the classroom as he still held onto the lean form of the younger teen. He then called out to his beloved poodle. “Makkachin, we're leaving!”  
  
The door to the music room opened once again, Mr. Nikiforov stepping through it into the classroom and glaring at his son as he approached the two teens. “I don't think so, Vitya. You and Yuuri will come back home with me.”  
  
“I'm sorry, Viktor...”, the Japanese male stuttered. “W-Without me, you could've been faster...”  
  
The silver-haired male shook his head and did his best attempt to smile “T-That's not-”  
  
“Yes.”, the head of the Nikiforov family nodded, interrupting his son. He grabbed Yuuri by the hair, pulling him away from his son's arms and drawing a scream from the Japanese male as he lifted the boy off the ground by his hair. “You are a nuisance. Something that only holds others back.”, he chuckled. “That's why you should learn your place!”  
  
The music club has scattered already, leaving Mr. Nikiforov with enough space to throw the raven-haired male head-first against the hard concrete wall, instantly knocking him out, a blood stain appearing on the otherwise pure white wall as Yuuri unceremoniously hit the floor. Viktor growled in anger and lunged at his father, only to have the man twist his arm behind his back after blocking the hit.  
  
“Don't worry. You're next.”, the older Russian said, grabbing his son by the throat and tightening the grip to choke Viktor. “You have really surprised me. You are usually too scared to speak your own fucking mind, going all 'Yes, father'...and now look at you! You are protecting a fucking whore.” The grip on the teen's throat tightened even more and the voice of the older male grew colder as the struggles of the silver-haired male became weaker and weaker. “You're about to pay the price.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was really exciting to write this chapter.  
> Forgive me for any mistakes, it's super late over here and I should be sleeping.  
> But I wouldn't be able to sleep if this chapter would be left unfinished.


	8. Crisis

The silver-haired teen struggled to stay conscious, even when his vision went completely black. He didn't get any more oxygen into his system, so he knew he was bound to collapse in a few more moments. His lungs burned, his throat ached and his arm hurt from being twisted into such an unnatural position. But more than any pain in his limbs, his light-headiness is what bothered Viktor most. He tried to stay awake for a little longer, tried to fight against the grip on his arm, to get away and finally breathe, but he failed. The oxygen was burned quicker as he tried to struggle, finally leaving his body completely. His head dipped forwards and his body went limp in the older man's hands as his consciousness finally left him. He knew that he failed his set goal of stalling for time, his mother wouldn't arrive before Mr. Nikiforov left the school grounds with the two of them.  
  
Just before his consciousness left him, he could faintly make out the word 'Finally' that his father said in an almost relieved voice. The silver-haired male knew that the next time he opened his eyes, he would be in an even worse position than being choked. That is, if he even were to ever open his eyes again. He wouldn't put it past his father to simply dump him into the river for his disobedience.  
  
Mr. Nikiforov grabbed Viktor by the collar of his shirt and dragged him along, throwing Yuuri over his shoulder to transport the two unconscious teens to his car, not caring about the blood dripping down onto the floor from the Japanese male's head. That is, until he heard a voice call out to him from behind them.  
  
“Excuse me, sir.”, the voice said, sounding really angry. “May I ask you where you are taking my students?”  
  
Dmitri turned around, facing no other than Georgi Popovich who was accompanied by a young blond boy wearing a track suit. The gymnastics club has just finished their activities, so the two were just about to head home. Of course, they were bound to notice the crimson trail on the bright flooring and followed the trail.  
  
“You must be my son's homeroom teacher, huh?”, the medic asked, smirking at the man. “If you value your job, you will ignore this. My boys have fallen ill and will probably not appear at school for the next two weeks. Doctor's orders.”  
  
With that, he turned around again, ready to take his leave. He didn't want to waste any more time and risk the two teens waking up again before they were back in the manor. However, he was stopped once again by the blond teen jumping in front of him.  
  
“Where the fuck are you taking Viktor and Yuuri?!”, the teen hissed. Sure, he teased the Japanese male, calling him pig and kicking him...but seeing the older male's lifeless, bleeding form has made him furious for some reason. “Why the fuck is he bleeding, what kind of father are you to do things like this?!”  
  
“If it isn't Yuri Plisetsky.”, the older Russian chuckled and shook his head. “I have no time to deal with the likes of you. Don't forget that your father is dependent on the treatment he gets from our clinic. If you value your family even a little, you'll be a good boy and step aside now.”  
  
It was always like this with Mr. Nikiforov. He had blackmail material on everybody in the whole town, he could easily manipulate people into abiding by his rules and acting on his will. Most people were simply unaware that it was Mrs. Nikiforov who did most things that her husband claimed to do. So, it worked. Even the blond teen who was enraged over seeing his classmates in that beat-up state couldn't say another word when his family was put on the line.

 

“I wish you gents a good evening.”, the medic said with a sadistic grin, leaving the building and driving back to the manor with the two teens.

* * *

  
  
Next time Viktor opened his eyes, he was greeted with the color red staining the carpet. His gaze traveled up to see his father sit on the edge of the bed, in front of the raven-haired teen. Yuuri was lying flat on his back, completely nude this time. His arms were secured to the headboard again, this time with a less bruising knot around his wrists, but the soft tie was switched out with a rough piece of rope. His breathing was ragged and Viktor saw why. The blood that stained the carpet was Yuuri's, the pillowcase was drenched in the crimson liquid and the black hair was sticking together in strands. He continued looking at the younger teen worriedly, he tried to get up from his sitting position but he couldn't. Viktor looked down onto his own body, finding himself secured to a chair with a piece of rope as well. His hands were bound behind his back and his legs were bound to the legs of the chair, so there was no escape unless he could reach into his pocket, to get a hold of the switchblade, but due to the structure of the chair, it was near impossible to do.  
  
His father noticed movement, so he smiled sweetly at the silver-haired teen as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand. “Good morning, Vitya. Did you sleep well? I heard that Yuuri had a good rest.”  
  
The teen didn't answer right away, instead looking out of the window to check on the time of the day. Was it really morning already? What happened to his mother's promise to come save them soon?  
  
“Don't worry. It's just a figure of speech. We still have a whole day ahead of us before your mother comes.”, the older male said with a chuckle, misinterpreting the worried look for a hopeful one. “And I intend on spending that day wisely, educating you about the consequences of what happens to disobedient brats like you.”  
  
“Father...don't hurt Yuuri.”, the older of the two teens begged, gritting his teeth. “I dragged him along so please, just punish me for running away and let him go.”  
  
“Oh, no. You didn't just run away.”, the older Russian interrupted in a cold voice, clicking his tongue in annoyance and getting up from the bed. “You took away something I was looking forward to six whole months. Do you realize that if I give into your pleas, the punishment won't have it's effect?”  
  
Viktor bit his lip. Did he make the situation even worse for the Japanese male by begging his father to spare him? Maybe it was dumb of him to voice any sort of wish in the current situation...  
  
“Look, I will just show you a few things, teach you a few life lessons. You can thank me later.”, the Russian said with a smirk, producing a hammer out of the black leather bag that stood on the ground. “First lesson...Why it is amazing to be a doctor and why you should be one too.”  
  
With that, Dmitri slapped Yuuri's cheek to make the Japanese male more aware of his surroundings. It was obvious that the raven-haired male was starting to feel light-headed, that the wound on his head was probably even worse than it looked. The younger teen's eyes were unfocused and unblinking as he opened them, they only widened slightly as the older Russian leaned down to kiss him again, softly this time.  
  
“Yuuri. This might hurt a little, but you understand that it's for Viktor's education, right?”, the medic said with a sadistic grin, to which the raven-haired male didn't respond, too far gone to form a coherent sentence or even shake his head a no. “I'll take your silence as a yes.”  
  
With that, he lifted one of Yuuri's legs and touched his thighs, feeling up to a bone in his shins. His grin widened as he held the leg in place with a bruising grip on the teen's ankle before he brought the hammer down onto the bone he had felt up to quickly, a sickening crack resounding through the room, accompanied by a bloodcurdling scream that drowned out the other sounds. The older Russian continued pushing against the bone with his fingers and more screams filled the room, the bone bending in an unnatural angle and creating a bump underneath the skin. Yuuri was thrashing and kicking around with his healthy leg as tears streamed down his cheeks, the rope around his wrists biting painfully into the tender skin and breaking it as the raven-haired male pulled at the restraints.  
  
“Vitya, come on. Look at this.”, as the teen refused to look at the horrible things his father did, Mr. Nikiforov repeated himself. “Look, or I will have to repeat the process with the other leg too.”, the older Russian chuckled as his son finally looked up, lifting the broken leg higher. “Isn't it amazing? As a doctor, I know exactly how the human body is built. I know exactly where I have to hit, or push to crack a bone. And you, Vitya...if you became a doctor, you would know how to fix it again.”  
  
“Father, please...I'll do anything you want, I'll be a doctor, I'll listen to everything you say...just please, stop hurting Yuuri..”, the teen was desperate, struggling against his restraints, his heart screaming at him to _save Yuuri_. He didn't even care about himself any more. He just didn't want his friend to suffer any more.  
  
“Oh, will you now? A shame, I was hoping I could show you how to perform surgery. But I forgot the anesthesia, so I guess Yuuri is lucky you were so obedient.”, he said with a small grin. He knew that by hurting the Japanese teen, he would hurt Viktor too. “Well...instead let me show you one more time how stupid your idea of going to take acting lessons was. You see, _anyone_ can act.”, the man chuckled and spread the raven-haired male's legs, settling in between of them. He then went on to imitate his wife's voice. “Honey, what happened to our boys?!”  
  
He replied in his normal voice as he traced a hand along Yuuri's tear-stained cheek. “I don't know...I assume they were mugged by someone. Imagine that, our Yuuri was even raped..what a horrible world we live in.”, he leaned down to bite the younger teen's neck, smirking at the taste of iron hitting his tongue as he broke the skin. Yuuri whimpered, but didn't have the energy to fight back any longer, so the medic continued.  
  
“That's horrible, dear! Did you treat their wounds?”, he kept going in his wife's voice, marking the skin on Yuuri's chest by sucking on it roughly, then licking the irritated skin, as if to heal the bruise he left.“I did what I could, but it's the emotional damage that worries me.”, he said with a look of fake sorrow, pinching one of the raven-haired teen's nipples to draw a broken moan from the teen. It was mixed with a sob sounding awfully out of place.  
  
Viktor felt like he was in some sick, twisted dream, like he was watching some fucked up movie, but he couldn't bring himself to look away, he knew his father would hurt the Japanese male more if he didn't watch the 'lesson'. It was only as his father started lubing up his fingers that Viktor just couldn't take it any longer.  
  
“Stop...please, stop. Dad, don't do it, please!”, the silver-haired teen begged again with tears streaming down his cheeks, but his father ignored him completely.  
  
Instead, Mr. Nikiforov lifted the raven-haired male's thighs up and got ready to spread him open, but not before he said in what was supposed to be Mrs. Nikiforov's voice, a twisted grin curving his lips as he guided one of his fingers to the younger teen's entrance “A shame they couldn't even find the culprits-”  
  
A loud bang resounded through the room and all three men froze, their gazes moving to the door, which currently laid on the floor. A single person stood in the doorway, her hourglass figure clad in a lab coat and her arms crossed in front of her chest, a polished nail impatiently tapping against her forearm.  
  
“That is where you're wrong. The culprit has been caught.”, a female voice resounded in an angry tone. “Care to explain yourself, Dmitri? There is blood all over the manor, you are here with two teens who are tied up and crying and you are just about to fuck a 16-year old boy who clearly doesn't want that.”  
  
“Oh, what a party-pooper you are. So what are you going to do, glare at me like that for all eternity? You are a woman. Clearly, you can't do anything to stop me.”, Mr. Nikiforov chuckled, averting his gaze from his wife and back to the Japanese teen.  
  
“Oh, really?”, Mrs. Nikiforov flipped her hair and took a step forward to slap her husband across the face. Then she turned to glance towards the door, calling out to seemingly nobody. “Take this sexist pedophile away, boys. You have all the evidence for his crimes all in front of your eyes, so be prepared to put him in jail for good.”  
  
Suddenly, ten police members stormed the room and were quick to point their guns at the older Russian. Makkachin also stood there, ready to jump at the man and wrestle him to the ground for assaulting his owners. Previously, he couldn't protect the two because Viktor commanded him to stay under the table, no matter what. He understood the silver-haired teen perfectly, but when Mrs. Nikiforov saw the poodle in the music room and called out to him, he was quick to guide her back to Viktor and Yuuri and this time he was determined to protect his owner.  
  
“Raise your hands up and slowly get up.”, a police officer said, to which the man obliged, dropping Yuuri's legs and causing the teen to let out another pained sound, to which Makkachin growled dangerously, his plush looks contradicting the bared fangs as he got ready to pounce and tear the man to shreds.  
  
“You really went all out on this.”, Dmitri mused, slowly getting up from the bed. “I wonder why all of you are so insistent on protecting a whore. I'm sure one or two of you already spent a night with him, really.”  
  
“Stop blabbering, old fart.”, Mrs. Nikiforov hissed, accusingly pointing her index finger at her husband. “I don't see you paying Yuuri for doing this shit to him right now. He is clearly a rape victim here.”  
  
“Whatever. You know I'll get out of jail quickly.”, the older male shrugged, grinning.  
  
The woman interrupted him, shaking her head. “Except you won't. I got Mrs. Katsuki on the case, she will ensure you at least 30 years in prison. By the time you get out of there, you will be 85 years old and your wrinkly pedophile dick won't even be able to go hard. So, good riddance, dipshit.”  
  
It was a rare occurrence to see the composed and elegant woman spit such vulgar words, but it only showed how worried she was about the two teens. She quickly approached her son and fumbled with the knots on his wrists, cursing as she realized how tight the knot was.. The police had taken Mr. Nikiforov away, leaving the three of them together with one police officer who needed to record the victim's reports on the case and Makkachin, who worriedly glanced up at the Japanese male who was clearly struggling with staying conscious. He whimpered and patted the bed with his front paws, as if to tell the younger teen to stay conscious.  
  
Once the silver-haired male was free, his mother gave hima hug and checked him all over, sighing in relief as she realized that the only visible damage were the bruises on his neck and the rope burns. The policeman untied the restraints that held the Japanese male bound to the bed and gently pulled them off, the rope sticking to the Japanese male's skin with the blood that coated it, so Yuuri winced a little as the rope pulled out of his wound that in turn started bleeding stronger again.  
  
“Hold on just a little longer, Yuuri. We'll help you..”, Mrs. Nikiforov said with a worried look, hooking her hands under the teen's armpits. “Can you please grab him by his thighs and help me carry him downstairs, yes? Make sure to hold the thighs and not the knees or shins, otherwise you'll hurt him.”  
  
“Alright, mum.”, the older teen nodded and put his hands under the younger male's thighs, but was quickly stopped by his mother.  
  
“Not you. The young officer should help me. You are hurt, so please rest.”, she smiled gently, the relief that both teens were still alive was clearly written on her face.  
  
Viktor nodded and let the policeman take over. He still followed the two. “Do you think you can fix him at the office?”  
  
“I can only do first aid now. Judging by the amount of blood that is still coming out of his head, he may need surgery. I hope his skull is not damaged too badly. Also, his leg definitely needs surgery, otherwise he might not be able to walk again, let alone skate.”, the woman explained, carefully walking backwards as they carried Yuuri down the stairs.  
  
“..what?”, the teen's feeble voice finally resounded with something else than a whimper or a scream. He was clearly terrified of the thought that he wouldn't be able to go back to the ice.  
  
“Seems like your brain is at least functioning, Yuratchka.”, the woman said with a chuckle. “But don't worry. I'll fix you up and then you can show off your skating to Vitya and me, alright?”  
  
The raven-haired male feebly nodded and his eyes dropped close. He opened them again, but the world looked so blurry despite him still wearing his contacts. He blinked a few more times, sleep making his eyelids grow heavier every time he did. He finally decided to keep his eyes closed, his mind swimming somewhere between dream and reality. His body ached everywhere, but he felt too tired to even care about it. He thought he heard Mrs. Nikiforov call out to him to stay awake, to resist sleep for a little longer, but he wasn't sure if he dreamed it, so he allowed himself to be embraced by the darkness, his consciousness fading again as exhaustion took over.  
  
“He'll be okay, right?”, Viktor asked as he realized that the Japanese teen wasn't responding to their calls any more. He looked up at his mother, who just looked back at him with a concerned look.  
  
“Vitya, call the ambulance immediately.”, she said in a commanding tone, a tone she usually used around her medical assistants when performing a difficult operation. She told the officer to lower the raven-haired teen onto the ground and started checking his vital signs, performing basic first aid and stopping the bleeding to her best abilities. She simply hoped that the the ambulance would arrive quickly, that she didn't underestimate the blood loss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yay for Viktor's father being arrested?  
> I kinda like Mrs Nikiforov haha. I had so much fun writing her call Mr. Nikiforov a dipshit.  
> And Mr. Nikiforov is clearly a psychopath,let's hope Yuuri's mother will put him in jail for good, shall we?


	9. Questions Unanswered

Just before the doctors rushed in with a stretcher, Mrs. Nikiforov had taken a blood sample from the teen, to test out what kind of drug was in his system. She handed the sample to one of the doctors and gave them instructions on what to do with it, after which she turned to her son.   
  
“Vitya. I have to go with the doctors and see that nothing else happens. You have to give your testimony to the officer since you are the only conscious victim right now.”, she explain, gave her son a peck on the forehead and rushed after the men who took Yuuri away. The heels of her stilettos clicked rhythmically and her lab coat fluttered like a cape as she ran.   
  
The silver-haired teen was left alone with the policeman and his poodle, who was affectionately pressing his head against Viktor's thigh before licking the rope burn on the teen's wrist. The teen flinched a little and Makkachin took the hint, stopping his ministrations.   
  
“So...uh...what do you want to hear from me, officer? Yuuri is the victim here...my father just used Yuuri to psychologically torture me, but the one who suffered the most was Yuuri.”, the teen said in all honesty, to which the policeman sighed.   
  
“What about the marks on your neck then?”, the officer asked, using a dictation machine to record the silver-haired male's statements.   
  
Viktor nodded and spoke up. “I ran away with Yuuri to save him from my father, but he caught us. He threw Yuri against the wall to knock him out and then he choked me until I became unconscious too. When I woke up, I was tied to the chair and Yuuri was tied to the bed.”  
  
“What did your father do to psychologically torture you, as you previously stated?”. The man continued, carefully listening to the teen.  
  
“I..I begged him not to hurt Yuuri, asked him to simply punish me for running away, but he didn't listen.”, the silver-haired male let out a shaky breath, gripping his hair to keep himself calm to an extent. “He made me watch as he broke Yuuri's leg, as he pushed the bone until it almost protruded from under the skin. Yuuri screamed and tried to get away, but he couldn't and all I could do was watch and beg my father to stop. And then...then my father went on with the attempt to rape him. If you haven't arrived in time, he...h-he...”  
  
Viktor couldn't say any more, breaking down into tears. All the fear he held back, all the panic he tried to mask with a confident grin resurfacing. He couldn't save Yuuri. Sure, he got the teen away from being raped, but only due to his mother arriving in the last minute. Hadn't she come home, Yuuri would be raped and probably already dead judging by the amount of blood that was splattered over the mansion. No doubt the blood was also decorating the seat of his father's Mercedes as well. The silver-haired male sobbed and spoke in a shaky voice to the older male.  
  
“I'm s-sorry, officer...but I need to get to my mother and to see how Yuuri is. I don't think I can give you any more insightful testimony as I am now.”, the teen apologized and Makkachin whimpered in compassion, pressing his head against Viktor's leg again.  
  
Viktor never felt so weak, so helpless. He didn't know what to do from now on, he could only hope that the raven-haired male would get better, he could only watch from the sidelines and pray that the wounds would heal and that Yuuri wouldn't hate him. He had basically forced Yuuri to tag along with him despite his protest. Viktor knew the risk of running away fully well and yet he forced Yuuri to join him. He knew that the consequences for the raven-haired male would be much worse than they were for himself, but still he went through with the stupid plan. He should have called his mother right when they got on the tram, he should have stayed on the tram longer and get off at a place that wasn't so painfully obvious...  
  
But he didn't and that's where he was now. Yuuri's condition was unknown to him, but Viktor knew that even if the wounds on the younger teen's body would heal someday, the emotional damage would stay. And Mr. Nikiforov knew that too, he even said it out loud. It was the man's _goal_ to leave lasting damage on the raven-haired male's psyche. Viktor knew he had to hurry and see that he'd provide support to the teen.   
  
“Hey, kiddo. Want me to drive you to the hospital ? It's dangerous to walk alone outside when it's so dark.”, the policeman offered, earning a small smile from the teen.   
  
“If it's not too much to ask, I'd like that. Thank you for the offer.”, the teen nodded and smiled at his poodle. “Makkachin, can you be a good boy and wait here until I get back?”, he asked, earning a whimper from the dog. “Sorry, I'll brush your fur when I come back to make up for leaving you alone again.”  
  
Makkachin seemed to understand and accept the offer, for he simply laid down in the hallway as the two men left the building. Viktor would have loved to bring his beloved dog along, but a hospital was most definitely no place for a dog to be. Besides, he didn't want to show Makkachin the state that Yuuri was in should he be allowed in to see the teen himself. But he knew that Yuuri needed all the support he could get once he woke up, so Viktor knew he had to be there for his friend.   
  
Thus, after throwing a jacket over his shoulders, Viktor got into the police car and let the officer drive him to the local hospital. Both of them were silent during the ride, the only sounds interrupting the heavy silence were the static-filled messages from other policemen spoken through the radio. But the teen didn't find the silence uncomfortable, it gave him time to think about the things that happened, the past 24 hours have turned his and Yuuri's life on their heads completely.

 

Viktor used to be the mean bully who would torment the raven-haired male every day of their school and now here he was, worrying about Yuuri to the point where he couldn't think of anyone or anything else. He was so worried about the younger male that as soon as the car stopped in front of the building, Viktor dashed out without even saying goodbye to the officer or thanking him again. He had to know what happened to his friend, so he ran into the hospital, hoping that he wouldn't need to look around for too long. The second Viktor arrived at the hospital's reception desk however, he heard his mother discuss something with a doctor, her voice loud and outraged.   
  
He decided to follow that voice, dashing into the casualty department of the hospital, seeing his mother stand there with a hand on her hip, talking to a young medic.  
  
“What do you mean 'he's probably not going to make it'?”, she hissed, pointing at the man accusingly. “Just let me into the surgical room, I'll save him. You normies always give up on such critical cases before even trying! To hell with you all.”  
  
With that, the woman pulled out a hairclip from the pocket of her lab coat and pulled her hair into a ponytail, storming into the room with the label 'CCU' on it. Viktor wanted to call out to her and ask what's wrong, but he didn't want to disturb Mrs. Nikiforov while she was so focused. Instead, he pestered the doctor she was just talking to, approaching him with quick, determined steps.   
  
“Excuse me, may I ask you what's wrong with the boy that is in there?”, he tried to stay polite despite the urge to simply storm in after his mother and see for himself what caused the best surgeon in St. Petersburg to rush inside.   
  
“Ah, you are the son of Mrs. Nikiforov, right? Viktor, was it?”, the doctor asked, keeping his voice on a friendly level despite clearly showing how frustrated he was, pulling his own hair to keep calm, a feat Viktor was too familiar with “Katsuki Yuuri, the boy who is currently inside the Critical Care Unit, has an open skull fracture, his skull is visibly cracked. His spine also shows some damage, but that's nothing we can't fix. The problem is that he has been drugged with something that prevents proper blood coagulation, so if we were to perform a surgery, he would die from blood loss.”  
  
“So, can't you just wait until the effects of the drug wear off?”, the teen asked with a small frown. He didn't understand why the doctors seemed to have given Yuuri up, or at least that's what he understood from his mother's outburst.  
  
“If it were this simple, we would do it. But, even the smallest movement can kill the boy right now. If we don't perform surgery right now, we risk damaging his brain permanently.”, the doctor explained. “I don't know what your mother is trying to do, but she is the only one who knows what to do in such a situation. A general hospital is no place for a case like this, it's a miracle Mrs. Nikiforov took on the case so quickly.”  
  
Viktor nodded and sat down in the hallway, right in front of the CCU. “Thank you, doc.”  
  
“By the way, shouldn't you get treated too?”, the medic said, pointing at the teen's neck. “Do you have any other pains than the ones on your neck?”  
  
“No, thank you. I'm fine. Bruises are nothing time can't fix.”, the teen said, pulling the sleeves of his shirt down to hide the rope marks. “I'll be waiting here until my mother comes out, so don't mind me.”  
  


The medic shrugged and left, joining Mrs. Nikiforov inside the CCU. Meanwhile Viktor stayed true to his word and relentlessly stared at the shut doors of the CCU, not even once leaving the area or averting his gaze, as if that would make the time pass faster, as if it would make Yuuri heal faster if he simply kept staring at the doors. His leg twitched nervously as he waited, bouncing up and down, showing how nervous the teen felt. His hands were folded as he prayed that Yuuri would survive, tthat the teen would be able to make it through the surgery without any lasting consequences. If the teen died now, Viktor would hate himself for dragging the younger male along in his foolish attempt of saving him. He couldn't allow the raven-haired male to die, he put his faith in his mother's surgical abilities and his own prayers, that these two would save the Japanese male.  
  
Three hours have passed and Mrs. Nikiforov finally exited the room, the red 'surgery in process' light going out at last. The silver-haired male felt like he had been waiting for three years rather than three hours, so as soon as his mother stepped out he jumped up from his seat and looked up at her expectantly. And the female seemed to understand it immediately.   
  
She took off the surgical mask and sighed in relief. “He will live.”, she stated, smiling proudly. “But he needs to stay at the hospital until his head is completely healed. Would you be so kind and visit him regularly, Vitya?”  
  
“Of course!”, the silver-haired male nodded, throwing himself at his mother and hugging her tightly. He just couldn't let himself cry while his mother saw his face, so as soon as his face was buried in the woman's shoulder, his body started trembling and tears fell from his eyes. “Thank you. Thank you so much for not giving up.”  
  
“I never give up, dear. Neither should you, ever. I know I have been harsh on you in the past, but now that the tyrant is out, I can finally show you all the support you deserve.”, the woman said with a small smile, patting her son's back soothingly. “I know that your father didn't raise you right and I'm sorry that I wasn't there because of work. We'll become a proper family now, alright?”  
  
“Why are you suddenly so nice to me?”, the teen asked. “Wasn't it all about the Nikiforov pride and the fame of our family?”  
  
“I'm sure you've had a wake-up call once or twice, too. Seeing you and Yuuri in such a critical state, I know I can't allow the same thing to happen.” Mrs. Nikiforov laughed and shook her head “Besides.. the pride and fame of the family are already gone. The scandal with your father is sure to spread all over Russia once the trial ends. Besides, I can't push you even harder now. I see that you are just an inch away from breaking down and I can't allow that. Instead of focusing on good marks and competitions, I want you to focus on what you deem to be the most important.”  
  
“S-So you're not against me becoming an actor?”, the teen asked uncertainly. Perhaps his father was right and everyone could be an actor, that it is foolish of him to think that it's something special. Perhaps his mother would confirm it too..  
  
Mrs. Nikiforov saw the distress in her son's eyes and she gently smiled at the teen. “Vitya. Of course you can be an actor. With your looks, I am sure everybody will be all over you. And besides, I know that you can do everything you put your heart to. You saved that boy despite knowing how Dmitri is. You can do anything, you just have to believe in yourself.”  
  
The silver-haired male shook his head and sighed. He still believed that he made the situation even worse. Yuuri was hospitalized for God knows how long, he almost died and even if he were to ever be in full physical health, he would need a lot of therapy to come back to his usual self. “Did I really save him? He got hurt because I ran away with him, he was scared to run away, but I simply picked him up and carried him out, disregarding the fact that dad would punish him more severely than me. Didn't I simply make things worse?”  
  
After he voiced his doubts, the female sighed and smiled softly at him. “Vitenyka. You did the right thing. Yuuri was drugged and your father was that close to raping him before you saved him. You have no guarantee that Dmitri wouldn't hurt Yuuri the first time around, so please, don't blame yourself.”, she paused to stroke Viktor's shoulder-long hair soothingly, trying to calm the teen down some more. “If anything, it's my fault that you two got hurt because I didn't arrive earlier. When I saw the blood all over the floor in the school, I thought my heart was going to stop. That's why I took an extra 5 minutes to call a team of cops to follow me.”  
  
“You did your best, mom. And you arrived just in time, you still prevented Yuuri from being raped.”, he said with a small smile.   
  
Mrs. Nikiforov shook her head. “Had I arrived in time Yura wouldn't be in the CCU right now with blood transfusion hooked to his arm.”  
  
“We both did our best, mom. We just have to wait now.”, the silver-haired teen smiled at his mother, glad he could offer her some consolation as well.  
  
“That poor boy has been through so much. Let's give him the best support that we can give as a family, at least until his real family arrives in Russia.”, the female smiled back at her son. It was nice to finally see the 'family' that she left out of sight for so long. She was so focused on how her husband treated her that she completely ignored the way she treated Viktor. And she finally realized it, that the smiling, happy Viktor is the one she wanted to see, not the Viktor who wore gold around his neck just to please others.   
  
The teen nodded in agreement “Yes. Let's show Yuuri what a proper family feels like. Let's visit him together tomorrow.”  
  
“Yes. But for today, I suggest that you and I have dinner and rest up. Yuuri would feel bad if we neglect our own health for the sake of his well-being.”, the woman said, letting her long blond hair down again and putting the hair clip back into the pocket. “Besides, there is not much we can do for him right now.”  
  
“You're right. I wonder what our chef is doing right now. The floor is still dirty with the blood..”, the teen said in a sarcastic tone due to how macabre it was and walked out of the hospital with his mother.   
  
“About that...I canceled the chef for tonight, since I already feared that something like that would happen.”, the woman sighed and lit a cigarette once they were outside. “We're going out to eat or we can order takeout. What would you prefer?”  
  
“Let's order takeout, mom.”, the teen said with a small chuckle, pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking the time. “I still need to take Makkachin for a proper walk after this.”  
  
The woman took a drag of her cigarette and exhaled the smoke in a small ring. “Mind if I tag along? I wouldn't want you walking alone when it's this dark.”  
  
“You want to walk with me and Makkachin? Didn't you say you want him to stay away from you so you wouldn't get dog hair all over?”, the teen teased, grinning a little.  
  
The woman laughed a little and immediately came up with a perfect excuse. “He was so heroic this evening, I can't just ignore that. So for tonight, I don't mind any dog hair.”  
  
They walked home under the starry sky, chatting about meaningless topics to keep their minds off of questions and worries that they wanted to voice so badly.   
  
_What would Yuuri's parents say when they arrived?_  
  
Would Yuuri be angry at the whole Nikiforov family when he woke up?

 

_When would Yuuri wake up?_  
  
But those were all questions that neither of the two Russians could answer, at least not until the next day rolled around. That were all questions that didn't have one distinct answer. Questions that for now would be put to rest, to be answered later.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of quality time for the Nikiforovs. It seems that they need a traumatic experience to realize they have been doing something wrong.  
> (Yuuri's suicide attempt was the wake-up call for Viktor and Mrs. Nikiforov realized she did something wrong after seeing her Viktor and Yuuri so beat-down)


	10. Behind the Mask

The next morning, Mrs. Nikiforov was woken up by the ring of the doorbell, the annoying sound echoing through the manor. The woman knew that the butler would get the door, but she also knew that she had to get up because most likely, it were the Katsukis. Who else would ring the doorbell at 6:30 am, when all the normal people were asleep?   
  
Viktor's mother was not a morning person, but despite everything she tried to look perfect regardless of the time, so as soon as she heard the click of the butler's shoes against the marble floor, she got up and combed her hair, throwing on a long white dress and a belt to accentuate her slim waist to look presentable. When she heard three voices arguing downstairs in a different language, she sighed and put some lip gloss on before finally exiting her room and heading downstairs. Despite her first thought being to yell at the three for arguing loudly and risking to wake her son, she smiled patiently and waved at the Japanese family.   
  
“Hiroko, Toshiya! It's been far too long.”, she greeted and then turned to look at Mari. The girl that used to be as shy and adorable as Yuuri now had short dyed hair and piercings, looking skeptically at her surroundings. “And you have become a beautiful woman, Mari.”, she complimented.   
  
Mari waved her hand dismissively and narrowed her eyes. “I appreciate the flattery, but I want to know where my brother is first.”  
  
“Mind your manners, Mari.”, Toshiya remarked, looking at his daughter accusingly.   
  
“To hell with your manners. I'm only here for Yuuri.”, the girl said and clicked her tongue.   
  
Before either of the two could say any more, Mrs. Nikiforov raised her voice and narrowed her eyes, resting her hand on her hip. “Look. If all of you are just going to argue, then I must ask you to leave again. Yuuri can't use any more stress in his current condition. In fact, the boy can't use any more stress either way. He deserves to be happy, so if you can't vouch for that, I'll let the adoption go through under my name.”  
  
“Mrs. Nikiforov, I apologize that I was skeptical of you.”, Mari said with a smile, giving the woman a thumbs up. “You're pretty cool I guess.”   
  
The Russian woman smiled a little at the compliment, but shook her head “I'm just doing my job as a responsible doctor, honey. I'm no psychologist, but even I can tell that Yuuri is close to-”  
  
She was interrupted by a tired groan from upstairs, the sound of bare feet stepping on the cold stairs following after. “What's the commotion?”, Viktor's voice resounded through the hall as the teen descended. Unlike his mother, Viktor didn't bother to brush his hair or change out of his light blue pajamas, his hair sticking out in all directions and his pajama top revealing a slight bit of his hip.   
  
“Ah, Viktor has grown quite well too!”, Hiroko clapped her hands and smiled at the young man compassionately. “I am sorry to hear what happened with your father.”  
  
Viktor finally realized who was standing before him and he widened his eyes, before narrowing them again. “I'm fine. Yuuri however isn't. Do you know that he was ready to let my father rape him because he wanted to finally belong? Because he was scared that he would be kicked out again like he was by his own father.”, he said with a bitter chuckle. “Yeah, of course you don't know that. You wanted to leave Yuuri to die.”  
  
“Viktor, they are here to help now. Please-”, he mother spoke gently to her son and gestured for him to quiet down, to which the silver-haired teen simply scoffed and walked back upstairs.   
  
“I'll be going out. If you need me, you know where I'll be. Someone has to be there for him in a good way, at least.”, the teen said with one last critical look towards the Japanese family, going to his room to get dressed.   
  
“Uhm..”, Mrs. Nikiforov cleared her throat and gave an awkward smile as her son left after accusing the Katsukis of so many things. The three Japanese visitors looked completely shell-shocked about the things that Viktor said. Well, there went Mrs. Nikiforov's plan for solving everything in a peaceful, friendly way. She struggled to say something else, but before she could, she noticed a small ball of brown fluff press himself against Mari's legs. “What's this?”, she asked, pointing to the small creature.   
  
Toshiya rolled his eyes. “This is Yuuri's dog, Victor. I wanted to leave him back with Yuko-san, but Mari insisted that we bring him along..”  
  


“Yuuri needs him!”, Mari protested, but was cut short by her mother's voice.  
  
“I hope you don't mind this dog being in your house.”, Hiroko added, sighing. “All the dog fur he leaves...”  
  
“This little buddy is what you are worrying about?”, Mrs. Nikiforov laughed at the small brown poodle, then turned to call out their own poodle. “Makkachin! Come meet Victor.”  
  
The big dog excitedly hopped down the stairs upon being called and wagged his tail upon seeing a miniature version of himself standing there in the hallway. The smaller poodle was only half the size of Makkachin and he shyly hid behind Mari's legs as the bigger dog approached him.   
  
“As you see, there is nothing you have to worry about. I'm sure my son wouldn't mind taking the little buddy on walks too.”, she said, smiling.   
  
Viktor had only understood his name being called out, so once he was fully dressed and his hair was combed and pulled into a neat ponytail, he went downstairs again, looking at his mother “You called?”, he asked, not yet noticing the small poodle due to how well he kept himself hidden.  
  
“Ah, no. Apparently Yuuri has a miniature poodle called Victor.”, his mother explained. “The guy is keeping himself hidden behind Mari's legs.”  
  
Finally it all made sense to Viktor. The day he pulled Yuuri out of the river, he heard the younger male address Makkachin by saying 'Viktor' to him. Back then, the silver-haired male was sure that his classmate had hallucinated, but once he saw the smaller poodle peek out from behind Mari's legs so shyly, he understood what was going on. The small poodle was looking a lot like Makkachin when he was younger and he seemed to be as shy as Yuuri was himself. No wonder the raven-haired male thought that Makkachin was indeed Victor.   
  
The Russian male kneeled down and stretched out a hand to the smaller dog, beckoning him closer. He saw the miniature poodle cautiously sniff the air and then hesitantly approach his outstretched hand.  
  
Hiroko smiled a little. “Vicchan rarely approaches other people, Viktor must be very good with pets.”  
  
“Like that's a viable skill.”, Toshiya added in a sarcastic tone. “Shouldn't that boy become a doctor one day?”  
  
Mrs. Nikiforov put her hands on her hips and huffed. “My dear Vitya wants to become an actor. Besides, I think love and compassion are the two most necessary skills in life.”  
  
“Will love and compassion put criminals in jail?”, Toshiya retorted and shook his head, continuing. “Can love and compassion save lives like you and I do, Vera?”  
  
Mrs. Nikiforov sighed and nodded. “I think in the current condition, the only two things that can actually _save_ Yuuri are love and compassion. Of course, I performed surgery on him, but his mental condition is no joke.”  
  
Viktor decided that he didn't want to stick around for this debate to unfold any further, so he picked up the small poodle and tucked him inside of his jacket. “As I mentioned before, I'm heading out. I have my phone with me in case you need something.”  
  
Before anyone could say anything else, he walked out with the puppy peeking out from the part of the jacket that was unzipped, walking ahead to the hospital. He was certain that bringing Victor with him to see Yuuri would be a good idea, after all the raven-haired teen needed support right now and there was nothing that was as therapeutic as an animal. Especially an animal that Yuuri was so obviously longing to see all this time. He hurried to the hospital as fast as his feet would carry him, Vicchan excitedly stuck his tongue out and barked as the wind whizzed through his brown fur, looking very happy to be with Viktor. The teen chuckled a little, glad that the hospital wasn't far from his house, so he reached the place with only a 5-minute-run.   
  
He entered, worrying about how he would ask for permission to bring the small puppy in. As soon as he passed the reception desk though, the receptionist jumped up and greeted him enthusiastically, completely ignoring the little puppy in his jacket.   
  
“You are Viktor Nikiforov, right?”, the woman asked, looking at him pleadingly. “The boy your mother performed a surgery on, Yuuri Katsuki, we need help dealing with him. I can't get a hold of Vera Nikiforov, so could you please help him?”  
  
“I can try if it's nothing that requires medical knowledge. What's wrong?”, Viktor asked, concerned.   
“Well, every time he wakes up, he either tries to escape or kill himself. We had to sedate him to keep him down, but we know it's not a permanent solution to keep drugging him. If I predict correctly, he should wake up any minute now. Could you please do something?”, the woman seemed lost, panicking about what would happen once the Japanese teen woke up.   
  
“What can I do if a group of doctors couldn't help?”, the teen pondered. Surely, they had a psychiatrist somewhere around here, so why couldn't they just calm the raven-haired male down?  
  
“He was calling out your name just before he passed out, so I figured that you or your mother would be able to help. He won't listen to anything we say.”, the woman said, grabbing the teen by the shoulders. “Please, try helping him.”  
  
“Alright. I can't promise anything, but I'll try talking to Yuuri.”, the silver-haired male nodded, brushing the woman's hands off of his shoulders. The woman took the hint and stepped back to give him some space.  
  
“Great! We relocated him to the room 285. That's on the second floor, in the rehabilitation department.”, the woman explained, smiling happily as the teen didn't ask any further questions and ascended the stairs. Why did Yuuri try to kill himself? Was that what happened because the perfect world that the teen had built up had crumbled down? Viktor would definitely need to ask Yuuri about that directly.  
  
The closer he got to the room where Yuuri had been staying at, the more aware he got of the high-pitched, terrified voice that resounded through the hallway. Viktor frowned and walked faster, finally making out the words that the voice had been screaming out.   
  
“I'm sorry! Please, please let me go!”  
  
The poodle jumped out of Viktor's jacket and ran towards the source of those terrified pleas. Viktor's heart sank. He quickly followed the poodle, all the while checking the numbers on the rooms that he passed. 283...284...and the small poodle stopped in front of the room labeled 285. The voice was fully audible now, small heart-wrenching sobs resounding from behind the door, followed by a low shush, most likely from a therapist who tended to the teen currently. Viktor entered the room without knocking, to see a man in a white lab coat pin Yuuri's wrists down on either side of the teen's head. Yuuri looked absolutely terrified, trembling slightly under the steel grip.   
  
“Excuse me.”, Viktor said in a stern voice to call the doctor's attention to himself. “But what the fuck do you think you are doing? You are treating a victim of a rape attempt, what kind of doctor are you to forcibly hold him down despite having this knowledge?”  
  
The medic turned to look in Viktor's direction and chuckled. Yuuri on the contrary seemed to freeze in place upon hearing the older teen's voice.   
  
“If it isn't Viktor Nikiforov.”, the doctor said with a small sigh. “You think you know more about treating patients than I do? Yuuri here tried to escape multiple times now. Are you aware that we can't let that happen in his condition?”  
  
“I don't claim to be a better doctor.”, the teen responded and put a hand on his hip, much like his mother used to do when she got angry about something. “But I do have the brains to understand that holding him down like you just did will only make him want to escape even more. So if you can do me a favor and get out for now, it would be very much appreciated.”  
  
Viktor never raised his voice and he always kept his temper under control, but the look he gave the doctor made the message very clear. There was no point in arguing with the teen. Despite their age difference, Viktor radiated pure authority and power, making the doctor huff in annoyance and leave the room. Once the medic was out, Viktor glanced back at the younger teen, who refused to meet his eyes, but seemed to calm down with the grip of the doctor gone from his wrists.  
  
“Yuuri.”, he said gently, softly. His voice was barely above a whisper, as if speaking any louder would break the raven-haired teen. “Yuuri, I'm so happy to see you're alive.”  
  
The Japanese male's dull eyes finally looked towards Viktor, staring at him in silence as if the older male had just grown a second head. He didn't say anything yet, just stared directly into those cerulean eyes, as if searching for an answer there. He had dark rings under his eyes and his face lacked the usual expressiveness, but Viktor blamed that on the sedatives. Yuuri's hands still laid in the position in which the doctor had held them pinned down earlier, revealing white bandages around both wrists. His dark hair was also mostly covered with bandages and the cast on his left leg was poking out from underneath the covers. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, unsure of how to phrase what he has been thinking.  
  
The small poodle didn't yet make himself noticeable to his owner, understanding that the two teens needed to talk first. So finally, Yuuri's chapped lips parted once more and he uttered one simple question. “Why?”  
  
“Why what?”, Viktor asked in surprise. He didn't understand what the younger male meant by that, so he simply sat down in a chair across of Yuuri, awaiting a more detailed question.  
  
The Japanese teen closed his eyes in frustration again and let out a shaky sigh, his eyes still wet with tears. “Why are you happy to see me alive? I destroyed your family. I made you suffer.”, he meekly gestured to the bruises on the older male's neck. “And I just inconvenienced you and your mother.”  
  
“Yuuri. If anything, you have given me a family. My mother and I decided to start over and we are both happy that dad is gone. It was my idea to run away anyway, so if anything, I destroyed my family for you. And I'm happy I did.”, the silver-haired teen said, patiently smiling at the younger male. “Now, instead of apologizing for things that you are not guilty of, can you answer one question?”  
  
“Sure, I at least owe you that.”, the raven-haired male nodded slightly and pulled the covers over himself again, hiding the cast and the bandaged wrists.   
  
“Why did you try to escape and kill yourself?”, the older male asked in a calm voice, making it sound like a normal question about the weather rather than a stern inquiry about the reasons behind his behavior. Viktor didn't want to sound accusing so he wouldn't make the teen cry again. Still, he expected an honest, reasonable reply.   
  
Yuuri seemed reluctant to reply at all, but seeing the expectant look he got from the Russian teen, he sighed and turned his head to fully face his friend. “I am scared. I realized that the fact that my mother took on the case...it means that my family will come here, right? They will see how useless and pathetic I am, they will leave again. I don't want to see my family, Viktor.”, he said, grabbing the covers to find some support. “What if my father will hit me again?”

 

“I won't allow that, Yuuri.”, the silver-haired male said and shook his head. “I failed to save you from my father, I won't fail to save you again.” A small bark resounded from under the bed, to which Viktor chuckled and picked the small poodle up. “And I bet he won't let it happen either.”  
  
“V-vicchan? He's here?”, Yuuri asked incredulously, reaching out to the poodle, to which the small dog licked the outstretched hand. “It really is you!”, he said with a small smile, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. But before happiness could take over his mind, a pang of painful realization shot through his body. “Wait. If...i-if Victor is here, then...”, he stuttered and his gaze wandered towards the door. “I-is he...?”  
  
“No, Yuuri. Your family is with my mother right now. They are bound to come in at some point today, but right now, it's only me, you and Victor.”  
  
Yuuri smiled a little at that. “Will you two...stay when my family comes?”  
  
“Of course, Yuuri. I won't leave you alone, no matter what your family might say. I am here for you, remember?”, he said with a comforting smile and reached out to put his hand on top of Yuuri's, after which the raven-haired teen insecurely looked up at him.   
  
A small pink blush was on his cheeks as their hands touched and Victor was radiating nothing but gentleness. It was so calming to simply look into those beautiful blue eyes, akin a sky on a summer day. The Japanese male bit his lower lip insecurely and intertwined his fingers with Viktor's, showing that he felt safe around the older teen. It was Viktor who saved him twice now. It was Viktor who made him feel safe and sound despite knowing that his family was coming. There was one simple thing that still bothered him and he gathered his courage to ask it out loud.  
  
“Viktor..”, he said in a small voice. “You know, I wondered for a long time now..”  
  
“What is it, Yuuri?”, the older male asked and cocked his head to the side, never letting go of Yuuri's hand.  
  
“I wondered why you were...you know, bullying me. You were always the center of the group, leading them on. But you also were the one who ended it. And you never hit me....”, he said with a small voice, unsure if it was okay to ask. Would the nice and gentle Viktor disappear now that he reminded him of the past?  
  
“It's not like I enjoyed it. My father just always forced me to do the things that others wanted to see. He said that I had to get popular, by any means necessary.”, the older male squeezed Yuuri's hand and looked down. “I always took pictures of your crying face to remind myself how much of a monster I have become. But I was a coward. I just did what my father asked me to without questioning it. And then I saw you jump into the river and I decided I had to step up and stop mindlessly doing the things that he wants me to do. Your suicide attempt woke me up.”  
  
So Viktor was exactly the opposite of him? Yuuri's eyes widened. The Russian teen looked so unhappy and broken despite doing the things the way his family wanted him to do. Viktor was the obedient child up until Yuuri tried to kill himself. Meanwhile, Yuuri was the person who went against his parents from the start, who ended up on the streets because he didn't do as his parents said. He always regretted his rebellious acts, but seeing Viktor so hurt, he thought that maybe...just maybe complete obedience wasn't the way to happiness either.  
  
“You...you didn't mean any of that?”, he asked again incredulously. Viktor looked so sadistic when he took that picture of him crying...but in reality, he was just broken, huh?  
  
“Not a single word. When I saw your strong and positive self crumble down, when I heard you apologize for things you weren't guilty of...I was so close to just shouting at everyone to stop bullying you...”, the older teen said with a shaky sigh.  
  
Yuuri let go of Viktor's hand to gently cup the silver-haired male's cheek, making Viktor look up at him. “Viktor. You want to be an actor, right? Your father said you wanted to yesterday.” After getting a nod from the older teen, Yuuri continued. “You'll be a good actor. I honestly thought that you were a bad person back then. I thought you were the sadistic school bully that you find in movies. But you aren't. You are so supportive and so gentle. You can get a little forceful, but you never get loud or violent.”  
  
“Wow...I never got so many compliments at once!”, Viktor's face lit up again, a heart-shaped smile on his lips. “Now that you think so highly of me, I'll have to keep this up!”  
  
Yuuri's cheeks flushed a perfect crimson at that and he averted his gaze. “Y-you don't have to try hard. You are amazing as you are now..”  
  
“You are so sincere today. What happened?”, the silver-haired male teased and took Yuuri's hand back into his own. Vicchan finally jumped over onto Yuuri's bed and curled up at his owner's side.   
  
“I guess it's the sedatives. Usually I'd be more anxious about things. I mean, I'm still scared of the moment my father will come, but...”, Yuuri trailed off as he heared footsteps and a male voice speaking in Japanese from just behind the door. His eyes widened in horror and he trembled again.   
  
Time seemed to slow down, every footstep was like tick of a clock that counted down to his demise. Every word spoken in his native language was so out of place, like a red warning sign that hung in the room, announcing his family coming. And finally, the door handle was pushed down and the door opened with a small creak.   
  
Yuuri thought his heart was going to stop.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri comes to understand Viktor a little more and realizes that there is no 'good' and 'evil' Viktor.


	11. Family Affairs

The door opened slowly and four people stepped in, with Mrs. Nkiforov leading the way. Before any of the Japanese people could speak, the Russian woman hurried to Yuuri's side and gave him a gentle hug. Yuuri flinched a little at the sudden contact, but soon relaxed once he realized he could easily get away if he wanted and he slowly returned the hug.  
  
“Yuratchka. I'm so sorry for what that bastard did to you. I promise nothing bad will ever happen to you again.”, she said in an almost loving tone, as if she was speaking to her long-lost son and Viktor understood why she felt that way.  
  
Yuuri simply had a likeable aura around him, he was shy and polite and nobody could resist those big chocolate brown eyes. Besides, Viktor knew that his mother secretly wished for him to have a sibling, which never happened thanks to his father being so reluctant to 'raise another ungrateful little shit', as he himself phrased it. Now that Vera met Yuuri and the adoption was still (sort of) on the table, her motherly instincts reawakened and she seemed determined to protect the young Japanese male from any harm that might come his way.  
  
“Yuuri.”, a deep voice resounded through the room, Toshiya calling his son's attention to himself.  
  
Speaking of harm...  
  
The Japanese male flinched again and seemed reluctant to look up, instead focusing his gaze on the white hospital bedsheets.  
  
“Yuuri!”, the voice repeated louder, which made the raven-haired male finally move again.  
  
Yuuri turned his head to look at his father, his vision becoming blurry again. Did the doctors take off his contacts while he was out cold? Is that why did his eyes sting like that then? It was such a familiar feeling, too.  
  
“Yuuri..you're crying..”, Mari said in a voice barely above a whisper, her heart breaking at the sight of her baby brother confined to the bed, his face expressing nothing but utter fatigue and fear.  
  
The raven-haired teen touched his cheek in disbelief, but indeed, those were tears. He still wore his contact lenses, it were tears that blurred his vision. “I'm fine.”, he said, but not even he himself found it believable, his voice shaky and unstable from the tears. “You wanted to say something, father?”  
  
A shiver ran through his body upon just mentioning the word that was now so foreign and filled with so many bad memories. But he knew he needed to act strong. His father would probably laugh at how pathetic he was, he would surely be disappointed again once he saw past his strong front. Then again, he didn't even _have_ a strong front to protect himself, he was simply pathetic and miserable. Nothing the great Katsuki or Nikiforov families should be bothered with.  
  
“Please, Yuuri...don't force yourself to look strong.”, Viktor said with a gentle smile, as if he looked directly into the younger male's mind. “Should your family not accept who you are, should they fail to make you happy...I'm sure I can also speak for my mom here if I say that you always have us to fall back onto.”  
  
“Exactly.”, the blonde nodded and smiled patiently. “Listen to what your father has to say, but don't hold your emotions back, Yuratchka. Viktor and I can be your family if the Katsukis fail to do so. The adoption form is still not withdrawn yet.”  
  
  
Toshiya frowned and crossed his arms. “I want to ask you two to leave. There is something the Katsuki family needs to discuss in private. The adoption form is not valid as it is since Dmitri had signed it under his name, so you don't have the right to interfere.”  
  
“What the hell?”, Viktor groaned in annoyance and got up to face off against the Japanese male, but Mrs. Nikiforov was quick to stop him from getting even angrier.  
  
“Darling, let's go outside for a moment. Yuuri will call us if something happens, right?”, she glanced towards the raven-haired male who simply nodded. “I think that Yuuri will appreciate some alone time with his family. They have a whole year to catch up on.”  
  
“I don't like it, but I guess I'll have to accept it.”, the silver-haired male sighed and turned to face Yuuri again. “If they say something bad, don't hesitate to call us. You don't have to let them abuse you any longer.”  
  
“You little-”, Toshiya growled, but Hiroko stopped him from continuing by putting a comforting hand on his back. So instead, the Japanese man sighed and continued in a calmer voice. “We _never_ abused Yuuri. Don't make baseless statements like that.”  
  
“Well, why don't you talk to him and get _his_ opinion on that? I dare say so, my mother and I know Yuuri better than you do. Think about that for a moment.”, the teen said, turning on his heel and exiting the room. Surprisingly, the small poodle followed the Russian, as if to show his agreement with the young male's statement. The Russian female also left the room, proudly looking at her son for standing up for his friend like this.  
  
The Katsuki family stood there in silence for a minute, the fire that burned in Toshiya's eyes long gone after getting reprimanded for his past behavior like that. Who broke the silence was Mari, who chuckled a little. “Viktor is really loved by Vicchan, it seems.”, she remarked cheerfully, trying to get her brother to smile a little.  
  
“Yeah. I can see why.”, the raven-haired male replied, wiping his tears, a little more stable after her sister laughing like that. Mari's voice was always comforting. “He is so kind and caring.”  
  
Hiroko narrowed her eyes and folded her arms in front of her chest, her voice stern and demanding. “And what is the relationship status of you both? Are you sure you are just friends?”  
  
“Yeah, we are just friends.”, the Japanese teen nodded, smiling a little. They were just friends, there was no way someone as perfect as Viktor was would be even remotely interested in him. Yuuri averted his gaze to the covers underneath him. He was so disgusting, especially yesterday, when he was so clingy to Viktor with the drug affecting him. “There's no way Viktor would see me as anything more, so don't worry.”, he finally voiced his thoughts.  
  
“But you do see him as something more, huh?”, Toshiya asked and his eyes narrowed, sending a pang of pain straight to his son's heart. As he saw Yuuri's smile falter, he immediately took it as a sign that his son was in love with Viktor. “Disgusting. I bet you seduced Dmitri yesterday too, huh?”  
  
“Dad, stop it, Yuuri isn't at fault here!”, Mari cut in, stepping in front of her brother protectively.  
  
What she didn't see was the shock that was now evident on the teen's face. The question his father asked turned Yuuri's beliefs on their head. What if it was _his_ fault that he almost got raped? What if he did something to rile the older male up? Maybe it was him all along, maybe he was the reason everyone in school bullied him, maybe he was the reason his family left him in the first place? And Mr. Nikiforov was a good man, it was just Yuuri's fault that he snapped. He made Dmitri choke Viktor. He made everyone suffer without even noticing it.  
  
“See, he remembers something!”, the older male continued. “I bet he just threw himself at every man until one finally decided to fuck him.”  
  
Mari turned around to see her brother crying again, the sobs shaking the thin form. Her eyes widened and she rushed to his side, putting her hand on the small of his back. “Yuuri. It's okay, dad has no idea what you have been through, don't listen to him. You didn't do anything wrong!”  
  
“What if I...oh god..”, Yuuri buried his face in his hands and shook his head. He did ruin Viktor's family. He seduced Viktor's father, he practically begged for it from the moment he became a whore, right? He wondered if his parents even knew that he had been selling his services to strangers. He even knew that Mr. Nikiforov was married with the way his golden ring glistened when the man first came to Yakov's place. Why didn't he refuse giving services to a married man in the first place? He was worse than garbage, he destroyed families by being a whore and no matter what Viktor said to console him, deep down the older teen probably resented him. “I'm so sorry.”  
  
“You have always been the disobedient child, but we tolerated your whims because we love you, Yuuri!”, Hiroko chimed in. “But enough is enough. Dmitri is now in jail. I'm not so sure I want to defend your case.”  
  
“Yuuri was beaten and Viktor was choked and you still take sides with that monster? If anything, you two should be in jail for leaving Yuuri alone for a whole year with no means of survival. You are a fucking disgrace as parents.”, Mari got angry now. “Get the fuck out of my face! You are making him believe that he is at fault for everything when he clearly isn't. And you know what, just because grandpa was so strict and didn't allow you to buy a hot springs resort like you wanted to, that doesn't fucking mean that you can rob Yuuri of his dreams too! In fact, you two are rich now, you can allow yourselves to buy the resort you wanted, but no, you stick to the things that old fart said despite the fact that he is dead!”  
  
“Watch your language, Mari. My father was an honorable man, he always put the family pride above everything else.”, Toshiya said with a frown, his voice growing loud enough or the two Nikiforovs outside to hear. They couldn't understand what the Japanese man said, but they could guess by the angry tone that it was nothing good. “Four generations of lawyers and this is what we have come down to? A gay teen with no ambitions and a girl who acts like she's all grown up but doesn't know shit. You are a disgrace to the Katsuki name, really. I feel like such a failure of a parent.”  
  
“You _are_ a failure of a parent if you can't protect your son from being almost killed!”, Mari protested and scowled at her father. “You _are_ a failure of a parent if you can't call your son and ask him about his well-being after learning that he miraculously survived a suicide attempt. You most definitely _are_ a failure if you are so scared to talk to your own son without putting up this oh-so-perfect facade. You are letting your insecurities out on him, aren't you? You left him here to die and now that you do see him again, all you can say are insults because you are so scared of accepting someone who doesn't fit your norm as your son and-”, she wanted to continue, but Yuuri stopped her.  
  
The raven-haired teen couldn't bear to hear his family argue. He couldn't bear to see them yell at each other just like they did a year ago. He didn't want his father to become violent again, he didn't want to see his mother cry again. What he didn't realize though was that the only one crying was himself.  
  
“It-It's fine...Mari, it's fine. It's my fault dad's angry.”, Yuuri reassured, but he wasn't sure if he was reassuring his family or rather himself. He was about to destroy his own family too. Why couldn't he die the two times he was so close to dying? Why did the Nikiforovs save him? He was horrible, he was not worth saving. “I...I am the one to blame. I should have kept silent, I should have become a lawyer. But I didn't. And this is where it brought me. So, if I can still fix it, I would love to. I'll do whatever mom and dad want me to, so please stop arguing.”  
  
“Good. You won't disobey me any longer, right?”, Toshiya asked in a stern voice.  
  
_You won't disobey me, right, Yuuri?  
_  
The words of Mr. Nikiforov echoed in his mind, his heart aching with each syllable. There was nothing else he could do to stop his dad from being angry at him than to obey. Why couldn't he finally have a family that was proud of what he did? The answer was simple, he didn't deserve such a thing. He wasn't beautiful and smart like Viktor, he wasn't strong like his sister and worst of all, he was gay, he was a disgrace to his family as he was now. His ice skating never went far, his drawings...he already gave up those and he didn't even have an aspiration in life any more. He was useless.  
  
_What a waste of oxygen.  
  
_ Yuri Plisetsky was looking down at him with those perfect sky-blue eyes of his, like he was yesterday's trash. Wait, when did the teen even get here? Yuuri's eyes shot up to fully meet Yuri's, only to have the younger teen scoff at him. He was clearly displeased with the way the Japanese male just laid there without doing anything.  
  
_If you're gonna stay down there, you should hurry up and die already.  
  
We don't need two Yuris in class.  
  
_ “I'm sorry.”, Yuuri's voice came in a voice that was barely above a hushed whisper. His throat ached, his voice failed him. The room was spinning, he suddenly felt like oxygen had completely left his body. Yuri Plisetsky would surely kick him and his father would most probably join in too. He knew he deserved the pain for being such an utter failure, then why did he feel so scared all of the sudden?  
  
He curled up on himself and tears streamed down his face uncontrollably, the blond teen was still there, still looking at him in disgust. He felt so cold all of the sudden, the fear was like a cold Rusian wind, making him tremble, cold sweat forming on his forehead. The younger teen had reached out to him and no doubt, Yuri would hit him. Any moment, the hand would connect with his cheek, slap him hard across his face and the blond would laugh at him, amused by his pain.  
  
Except the hit never connected. Instead, the hand of the blonde gently touched his cheek, wiping away the tears that streamed down his face.  
  
The Japanese teen blinked once, twice...the tears that blurred his vision cleared away and what he was faced with was not the angry teen looking down on him, but rather Vera Nikiforov, her long blond hair pulled into a neat ponytail and her beautiful blue eyes expressing nothing but concern.  
  
“Yuratchka, it's alright. I'm here for you.”, she said in a gentle voice, speaking to him like to a wild animal that she wanted to tame. She distracted him from the topic that bothered him most, talking about random topics. “What flavor of ice cream do you like best?”, she asked with a soft smile. “I thought I'd get some for you and Vitya.”  
  
“Huh?”, the young teen hummed in confusion and blushed, but answered truthfully. “I like mint and chocolate.”  
  
“That is so fitting. Your eyes look like chocolate too.”, she said with a small smile, all the while softly stroking the skin on the teen's cheek to calm him down even more. “Vitya likes vanilla most. How boring, right?”, she teased.  
  
“Vanilla?”, the young teen echoed. It was alright, it was sort of fitting with the elegant, sweet personality that Viktor had shown. Though sesame ice cream would fit even better since he had shown his angry side too. Viktor was really protective of what he loved. The shivers that ran through his body have subsided without Yuuri even realizing it and he voiced his previous thought to Mrs. Nikiforov. “I think he'd like sesame ice cream too. It has a bitter note, but it's really good.”  
  
“Then once you get out of here, let's go eat ice cream at a parlor together then! We can try all sorts of ice cream and eat until our tummies ache!”, the woman said energetically, smiling a soft smile at the younger male.  
  
“Yeah..”, Yuuri said with a smile of his own that was genuine this time, glancing to the side to check on his family. He noticed that they were all gone, only Viktor, Vera, Vicchan and himself were in the room now. He was about to ask what happened to them and why they left, but apparently the silver-haired male knew what he was about to ask.  
  
  
“Mom and I sent them away. You just experienced a panic attack because of them yelling at each other and that is really harmful in your current condition. You need a calm, safe atmosphere to recover now.”, he said in a quotation voice, raising his index finger up to make his words seem even more important. Then his finger moved to point at the female. “...Is what mom said.”, he ended the speech and smiled at the younger teen.  
  
“But won't they...get even angrier now?”, Yuuri asked in a shaky voice. Now he was even more scared to see his family again. They would surely be mad at him for being so weak. He just proved how much of a disgrace he was, he proved that he wasn't even fit to be a lawyer like his parents wanted. “I messed everything up...”  
  
The blonde sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled the Japanese male into an embrace to calm him down. “You did nothing wrong, Yuratchka. No matter what your parents said, please don't let it influence you..”  
  
“But what they said is true...”, the younger teen said in a quiet voice. He shouldn't have become a whore. He should have died on the streets one year ago, like his parents planned him to. His gaze was downcast again and he suddenly felt empty. It was as if he drained all the tears already, his mind had come to an acceptance that Yuri Plisetsky was right. He was simply a waste of oxygen as he was now.  
  
“Can't you just adopt him, mom?”, Viktor suggested, worried about his friend who clearly didn't look okay. Oh how he wished he could knock some sense into the Japanese family. Why didn't they see how much Yuuri was suffering? “If this keeps up, they'll break him.”  
  
Yuuri shook his head. “I can't accept that offer, no matter how generous it is. I will go back to Japan with my family as soon as I can leave the hospital, I have burdened you enough already.”, he said with a small sweet smile, leaning back in the bed. He destroyed enough already. He twice almost killed Viktor, both times the silver-haired male had tried to save him, both times the older teen risked his own life. And how did Yuuri repay him? By breaking the Nikiforov family apart for good. Just the way he repaid his own parents for taking care of him for 15 whole years. “Thank you for having me.”  
  
“If anything it was our family that inconvenienced you. I wish I could do more for you, Yuuri.”, the woman said and sighed a little. Why did Yuuri think that he inconvenienced them in any way? Did Toshiya accuse the boy of something? If so, she would definitely slap the man hard for saying something that influenced Yuuri so negatively. “I will talk to your father, just please tell me what he said to you.”  
  
“He just said the truth, nothing you have to worry about, Mrs. Nikiforov.”, the younger of the two teens replied and forced up another smile. He shouldn't burden anyone anymore. He already destroyed the Nikiforov family, he shouldn't make them do anything out of pity for him.  
  
Viktor shook his head. “I can see you are forcing yourself to smile, Yuuri. Please let us help you..”  
  
“Really? I feel happy. It must be the medicine that makes it look like that.”, Yuuri lied and closed his eyes to force back the tears that welled up in his eyes. He was simply disgusting. His family said so, his classmates said so and he finally saw it himself. Still, he wanted to maintain the positive relationship he had with the Russian family. “Don't worry about me.”  
  
_I don't want to trouble you any more.  
  
I don't want you to hate me.  
  
Please, just don't leave me alone again, I'll do anything.  
  
_ A knock came on the door and a nurse poked her head inside. “I apologize, but visiting hours are now over. Please leave so the patient gets his meal and the prescribed treatment.”  
  
Vera shook her head in disappointment and glanced up at the clock. She hoped she could stay longer and help the Japanese teen cope with the feelings that “I guess it's lunch time, huh?”  
  
“Exactly. If you insist on visiting Mr. Katsuki today again, you can come back starting 2:30 pm.”, the nurse said and then disappeared again, presumably to get said food.  
  
“Seems like we have to go..”, Viktor sighed and stole a glance at Yuuri, who looked absolutely devastated about hearing that he would be alone again. “I'll come back at 2:30 sharp, so don't worry. It's only two hours from now, so please just hold out until then, okay?”  
  
“I'll be fine, don't worry.”, Yuuri said with another smile, distracting himself from his sadness by talking about school, guiding the topic away from his loneliness and insecuruities.“You still have the test on Monday to study for, so don't mind me, okay?”  
  
Viktor was about to say something, but his mother interrupted him before he could. Both Russians knew that test results were nothing compared to the health of a person who was important to you. They have both made the same mistake of neglecting private life for results that mattered to society and they both were determined not to let it happen again. “Don't worry about that. We'll come back later.”  
  
With that, the two Russians got up and with a short goodbye, they left the room, finally allowing Yuuri to break down again. The Japanese male finally could cry without being asked questions, he could let out his frustrations, let his depressions swallow him up. There was no Viktor who would pity him, there was no Toshiya who would shout at him for being so weak, telling him to kill all emotions. And there certainly was no mom who told him that he was not allowed to cry since so many people had it worse than he did. He always felt so guilty to cry when someone was watching. But now he was alone in the room again, he let his tears fall onto the white pillow, pressing his lips together in a thin line to keep his sobs quiet.  
  
The nurse came in and set down his food, but with Yuuri's back turned to her, she just assumed that the teen has gone to sleep and left again. The smell of borscht filled the room, but Yuuri didn't feel like eating. His stomach felt heavy and his head hurt, he wouldn't be able to keep anything down as he was now. It's not like his family even cared that he wouldn't eat, he was better off dead to them any way, Yuuri was sure of it. He could never be the son his parents wanted. He could never support Mari just like she supported him throughout the years.  
  
Outside the hospital, the two Nikiforovs met the Katsukis who had a heated debate over something in Japanese. Immediately after meeting the three, Vera approached Toshiya with quick steps and slapped his cheek hard, the man's head snapping to the side from the impact.  
  
“We have to talk. _Very,_ **very** urgently. I swear that if you keep this up, I'll have a restraint order filed against you.”, she hissed, crossing her arms and looking at the man in disgust. “Let's go to the manor for now. I don't want to cause a scene out here.”  
  
Without even waiting for the man's reply, she walked ahead in quick steps, obviously furious over the condition they found Yuuri in. Seeing the usually composed woman like this, the four other people knew better than to make any witty remarks or talk back to her, simply tagging along behind her. At the Nikiforov manor, all hell would break loose and they all knew it. Viktor was secretly looking forward to seeing his mother reprimand the Katsukis for their behavior at the hospital. He'd love to do so himself, but he knew his mother would have more of an effect with her intimidating presence which Viktor lovingly called the 'boss mode'. The Japanese family was in for one hell of a ride.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homophobes often have the misconception that gay people flirt with every person they see, so I decided to add this in. Also, I got hit by another depression wave and the chapter magically wrote itself. I guess that's at least good, haha...  
> Sorry for the long wait!


	12. Atonement

“...So you just fucking made him feel like the most worthless person on earth just because you are an insecure man yourself? That makes you a failure as a father...no, as a human being in general.”, Mrs. Nikiforov summed up Toshiya's rant in her own words and lit a cigarette. “Why don't you man up, buy that hot spring resort in Hasetsu or whatever the town was called and just live your dream? It would make you happy and you in turn could finally be the father that your children deserve.”  
  
“It's not so easy to just give up a thing you have been working years on.”, Hiroko tried to defend her husband, but kept her head lowered, showing respect for the Russian woman.  
  
The Japanese man nodded and sighed, rubbing his temples, visibly stressed out by Vera's words. “Besides, we don't know if the hot springs will be a success. We can't just waste the money like this.”  
  
“Life is too short to worry about 'what ifs'.”, Vera said, exhaling the smoke of her cigarette and crossing her legs as she leaned back on the couch. “You are in a position where you can try out things. If the resort doesn't work out, the world will still accept a capable lawyer duo back with open arms.”  
  
The Japanese woman seemed hopeful, her eyes lighting up with a certain joy. However, her husband still seemed unconvinced, only seeing the negative side of things. Thus, to push the man towards the decision, Mrs. Nikiforov continued. “Come along. I'll show you something.”  
  
The blond woman got up and led the way to a window in the living room which offered a perfect view of the huge garden they had. Viktor and Mari were playing with Victor and Makkachin, both were laughing happily and seemed not to have a single worry on their minds. They looked like normal children should look, with the only exception being the bruise on Viktor's neck. But with the blindingly bright smile he had on his lips it was easy to look past the traces of the assault and see the happiness that the teen felt and expressed.  
  
“Mari is...smiling.”, Toshiya said in disbelief. His daughter never smiled at them, she always seemed so distant whenever they did something together.  
  
“Exactly. And you know why? Because she isn't forced into a mold. Yuuri has come to believe that his _only_ way of having a loving family is obeying every word. But you know that you will break your children like that, right? You are lucky that Mari is rebellious and that she is strong enough to stand up against you.”, Vera explained, heading back into the kitchen where the three of them have been talking up until now. “Then again, you never left Mari alone for a year with no way of survival than to resort to prostitution, have you?”  
  
“Yuuri has sold his body?”, Hiroko asked, shocked. She had thought that the boy simply found a generous stranger that took care of him. Yakov, was it? She had never even imagined that her son had to fall so low to simply survive.  
  
“Yes. He did this so he could go to school, because he felt like he had _failed his parents._ ”, the Russian female spat the words out like venom, disgusted by the way the Katsuki family have handled their son coming out of the closet. “You know, there are therapists who help parents to see that being homosexual is something that is determined by genes? You know that you could have learned to accept who your son is rather than casting him aside? Viktor is also gay, you know...but this doesn't make him any less of a person.”  
  
“But that is such a-”  
  
“...disgrace?”, the Russian woman finished the thought and laughed. “A disgrace to whom? We are living in 21st century. The rest of the world could probably care less if your son is gay. But you, you chose to trample his dreams and ambitions. You know that what you did to him counts as emotional abuse, right?”, she asked and chuckled bitterly, putting out her cigarette inside the ash tray and dumping the cigarette butt there. “You have a chance of fulfilling your dream, so let Yuuri fulfill his own, too. Let him skate competitively if that is what he wants, let him marry a nice man and let him finally be happy. He needs someone to accept him for who he is.”  
  
“You know, we can't really-”, Toshiya began, but once again, Vera interrupted him.  
  
The blonde narrowed her eyes and put a hand on her hip. “If you can't promise me that you will do everything to make your children happy, I'll report you both for abandoning Yuuri like that and Mari and Yuuri will both be under my care. Think long and hard about this. Oh and you can forget the Katsuki name and glory once this gets out to the public.”  
  
“That is straight out blackmail, isn't it?”, the man huffed, crossing his arms.  
  
The woman however simply laughed and shook her head, resting her hand on the table while still keeping one of her hands on her hip. “It's the _Nikiforov way_ of doing things. If you don't do it our way, you lose.”, she chuckled, but her smile disappeared just as soon as it appeared. “But in all seriousness, you ought to start acting like real parents now, put the needs and wishes of your children above your own, like parents should. Have you asked what Mari wants to do with her life?”  
  
“Yes, she studied hotel management.”, Hiroko nodded and smiled. “We do care about our children.”  
  
“At least one of them, yeah.”, Vera huffed and clicked her tongue in annoyance. “You can get a hot springs resort, have Mari work there if she would like to and let your son do whatever he wants. Like ice skating, for example.”  
  
“We'll think about that..”, Hiroko said, unsure if she can stand up against her husband like that. She tried to simply agree with Vera for now and see how Toshiya reacts. “I agree that the boy seemed very unstable.”  
  
However, her husband simply clicked his tongue and seemed reluctant to accept the facts. “But that's not our-”  
  
Hiroko frowned and finally decided to speak her mind. She has refused to speak up all this time, since her husband always had such an intimidating presence. But with the way her husband ignored what Mrs. Nikiforov said, the way he ignored the words of a certified doctor, she couldn't stand still any longer. “Of course it's our fault! We have been much too harsh to our boy, we have left him for a whole year and he was forced to sell his body!”  
  
“He wasn't _forced_ to do that.”, Toshiya protested, still denying that he was at fault. He hid his own insecurities by blaming his faults on others and his wife knew that.  
  
“And what was he supposed to do then? Just lay down on the ground and wait for death?”, she protested and sighed. “Just admit that you are wrong for once before it's too late to save our boy.”

 

Toshiya lowered his gaze. Could he face his son again after a whole year of neglect? “But Dmitri said that our boy didn't want to see us since we are the cause for his suicide.”  
  
Before anyone could say anything further, Viktor's voice once again resounded through the room. “Actually, that was a lie. My dad just wanted to adopt Yuuri so he could fuck him everyday or rent him out to his friends. Sure, you two were a part of the cause for his suicide, but I was the one who pushed him that far by bullying him in school. Still, at least I take responsibility for my actions and change for the better.”  
  
The silver-haired male's heart pounded loudly. That was the first time he would admit to somebody that he bullied Yuuri, that he had others kick him down to the ground. It was exciting and frightening all at the same time. He expected to have the Katsukis direct their anger towards him, to have his mother question him about it, but none of it came.  
  
Instead, Toshiya's face lit up, the harsh lines between his brows softening and his mouth corners twitching upwards. “S-So you're saying my son isn't blaming me? That he wouldn't be opposed to coming back with us?”  
  
“No, in fact, he was only doing as my father asked him to because he wanted a family that accepted him, but deep down he knew that only you two could give him a true family.”, Viktor explained, sighing in relief upon realizing that nobody would reprimand him for his past actions. He had simply assumed that it's what the younger male felt, but he saw that his words had an impact on the two Japanese people, so he continued. “So why don't you apologize for your behavior and see that Yuuri gets what he has always wished for, a family who loves him the way he is?”  
  
“I think we could do that..”, Hiroko nodded since her husband was still ashamed and probably would say something stupid again. “But we need time.”  
  
“Alright.”, Vera clapped and called everyone's attention to herself. She then pointed to the two Japanese people and spoke up in a commanding tone. “You aren't allowed to visit Yuuri today. You two need to get on the case so Dmitri goes to jail and Yuuri needs some time to process what happened this morning.” Her finger moved to point to Viktor, who immediately jumped. “Vitya, since I will be helping the Katsukis with the case by providing medical files, you should call that Yakov person and visit Yuuri together with him. He has the right to know about what happened. I will join you later since I have things to tell Yuuri that I can't delay until tomorrow.”  
  
“Alright! I'll go pay him a visit then.”, the teen said and excused himself.  
  
Viktor firmly believed that his mother was a blessing. She knew exactly what to do to help Yuri get back to his bright and positive self. Yakov would definitely give the younger teen the support that he needed, the old man seemed very aware of the dangers that his father brought with him and Viktor was sure that the man wouldn't hesitate to give Yuuri the support that the teen didn't get from his parents this morning. He had to go back fast, he wanted to see his friend smile again. Thus the silver-haired male started running the second he was out the door, so he could get to Yakov's cafe as quickly as he could.  


* * *

  
  
The raven-haired male wasn't sure how much time had passed as he pretended to sleep, as he heard the nurse come and go, mumbling something about how ungrateful the teen was being for ignoring the food that was left for him. Nothing Yuuri didn't know already. Nothing he hadn't heard from Mr. Nikiforov or his parents before. He knew he was worthless, he knew he was ungrateful and he only caused trouble for everyone. He simply wished that the Nikiforovs had forgotten about him, that they wouldn't waste their time on someone like him.  
  
He bothered them enough already. He destroyed their family by seducing Viktor's father and he couldn't even fix his own family any more. Maybe he should tell his parents to stop looking into the case, maybe once Dmitri returned, the Nikiforovs could be happy again? Sure, both Viktor and Vera said that they were fine, but Yuuri was sure, he was absolutely certain that they simply lied. They despised him for ruining their family and yet they pitied him enough to keep quiet about it.  
  
Yuuri turned around in the hospital bed, looking at the plate of the now cold borscht and sighing. Maybe if he didn't eat and nobody visited him, he still had a chance of escaping? Maybe he still could die quietly without causing any more trouble? Then again, the nurses would have to dispose of his corpse this way. If he were to die, he should do so in a place where he wouldn't bother anyone. Maybe tonight he could try to escape? Then again, what would he accomplish this way? He couldn't die without even trying to fix what he had broken..  
  
He had so many questions, so many thoughts that buzzed in his mind, blending into white noise. There was a voice inside his head, a voice that he tried to silence for almost a year now. A voice that suddenly got so loud that Yuri just couldn't ignore it anymore.  
  
_It's your fault that both families are in this state.  
  
You are the reason that everyone was hostile towards you in school.  
  
You don't belong anywhere.  
  
You are a plague, you bring misfortune wherever you go.  
  
__**Just die already.  
  
**_ Oh, how Yuri would love to just give into this voice. He knew he couldn't live with the guilt of putting an innocent man behind bars. He definitely needed to do something about it, maybe he should ask his mother to defend Dmitri in court instead? Maybe he should ask Viktor to call in a police officer who had witnessed the scene so that he could explain it?  
  
_Why are you all defending him, he's just a whore!  
  
_ Dmitri's voice resounded in his mind again, but the words had a completely different meaning now. Maybe it was because he was at fault, maybe he wasn't worth protecting because he was the cause of the incident. Dmitri knew he was innocent, that is why he said that he'd get out of jail quickly. He knew it, that is why he didn't give in immediately after Mrs. Nikiforov confronted him. It was Yuri's fault for becoming a whore, it was his fault for disobeying Dmitri's orders when he clearly knew the consequences. The least he could do for the man was to confess to the police now.  
  
Maybe he could see Viktor just one last time and ask him to call the police for him...but after that, he knew he had no right to exploit the kindness that others offered him. He knew that he had to atone for his crimes and make sure that nobody had to suffer because of him ever again.  
  
Once he would heal completely, he would leave this world for good, this time without bothering others with a suicide note. But before he went, he wanted the Nikiforovs, Yakov and everyone who was miserable because of him to hate him. He wanted them to stop pitying him and be honest with their emotions. There was no way the bully who let others beat him and snapped pictures of his face liked him now, right? Viktor must be furious right now, he just needed to let it out, but the pity stood in his way. Surely, after being choked by his father, Viktor hated Yuuri, the Japanese male just knew that. It was his selfishness that lead to Viktor getting hurt, it was his pathetic state that troubled everyone and it was his tactlessness that led to him almost being raped by the older Russian. Was it even called rape if it was his own fault?  
  
Then again, _everything_ was his fault. He had no excuses any more and he knew he couldn't make any. Death was the only way to ease the burden that he put on the both families, but before he died, he needed to make sure to properly say goodbye without unnecessary attention. Just make everyone avert their gazes from him before he ended it all.  
  
A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts, making him look up just to see the nurse peek inside his room.  
  
“Mr. Katsuki, Viktor Nikiforov and Yakov Feltsman are here to see you.”, the nurse said, smiling at him patiently.  
  
That was perfect. He could apologize to both and then tell them not to bother with him any more, it was just as he had planned, it would all end today. He could finally fix the damage made by his mistakes. “Please tell them to come in.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri takes the things his parents said to heart and comes up with a plan to atone for his crimes.  
> Inspired by the death arcana social links/confidants in both Persona 4 and Persona 5.


	13. Denial

“Yuri, you're up!”, Viktor said in a happy voice, his gaze catching on the still full bowl of borscht that stood on the bedside table, but he didn't say anything concerning that right now. His mother had texted him right after he left, telling him to be extra cautious with Yuuri. Of course, the teen made sure to forward that information to Yakov, who currently just looked at the Japanese male with nothing but pure empathy in his eyes. Neither of the two Russians dared to step into Yuuri's personal space, afraid to scare the teen away by doing so.   
  
The raven-haired male looked up and his lips formed a smile again, trying to mirror Viktor's facial expression to make the two Russians worry less, to make them drop that look of pity. He sat up in his bed, albeit with some trouble due to the cast on his leg. He failed to suppress a small hiss of pain as his broken bone protested against any kind of movement, making the two Russians hurry to his side. Yet, the action only made Yuuri's expression turn into something even more dark, pure agony radiating from him, just like when he stood on the railing of the bridge. The smile that he had forced onto his lips was long gone.  
  
“I'll be fine.”, the youngest of the three spoke, lowering his gaze to hide his emotions. His hands gripped the bedsheets for support. “I only have one favor to ask if I may..”  
  
Yakov frowned and gently put his hand onto the teen's back, trying to show his support that way. “What is it, Yuuri? I will do anything that can help you feel better, you know that.”  
  
No, that was wrong. Yuuri wanted the two Russians to hate him, he didn't want to be even more of a burden to them. He couldn't accept the help that they offered. He was the reason that the two wasted their sparse remains of free time right now. He wasn't worth it, he didn't deserve so much attention. He was worthless, he was a criminal, he was a curse to those who came into contact with him. And yet, the Japanese male knew he couldn't restore Viktor's family just by wallowing in self-hate.   
  
“Please call the police.”, he said, still not looking up to the two. His only way to do some good was to tell the police the truth, that he was the one to blame for all that happened, that he forced himself onto Viktor's father. He would keep the part of being a whore a secret, he didn't need to inconvenience Yakov too..  
  
“The police? What for?”, the silver-haired teen sounded surprised and worried. “Did something happen while we were gone?”  
  
The younger teen shook his head, pulling his healthy leg up to his chest and resting his forehead against the knee. Should he tell them? Would they simply lie to him again, tell him that it wasn't his fault? He just wanted to fix his mistake, he wanted to make things right again.“Please, just do it...”, he repeated, a sob shaking his thin form.   
  
Why did they act like this? Why were they so nice to him? He destroyed everything; his own family, Viktor's family and even Yakov's happiness. Dmitri, his own parents and the nurses told him how useless and ungrateful he was. Why did the two Russians insist on being nice to him? Why didn't Viktor laugh at him and bully him any more?  
  
“Yuuri, we can't call the police without giving them a reason to come.”, the old man sighed and gently rubbed the raven-haired male's back, trying to soothe him, but he only achieved the contrary. Due to how badly Yuuri's skin was bruised from the beatings at school, the touch just hurt him and the teen dug the heels of his palms into his eyes to keep himself from whimpering or crying so he wouldn't worry the older man. But the way he flinched from the action gave Yakov all the information he needed and he quickly withdrew his hand again.   
  
“Yakov's right. Please tell us what's wrong, Yuuri.”, Viktor nodded and looked at his classmate expectantly. However, he got no reply. Instead, the Japanese male curled up even more, as if to hide from any more questions that might come his way.  
  
Yuuri realized that he didn't even have a way to atone for his crimes any more. If he couldn't save an innocent man who was in jail because of him, what was he even good for? He asked too many questions that he didn't have answers to, questions that he didn't deserve to have answers to.   
  
That wasn't right. He already knew the answer, he needed to cut his ties with everyone who was feeling empathetic with him. And then, he needed to end this pathetic existence of his, an existence that brought so much pain to others already. Why couldn't he take the hint a year ago? His parents wanted him dead because he was clearly a cursed child. He was like the plague, he brought death. He was the reason Viktor almost died twice, he was the reason that both, the Katsuki and the Nikiforov family were so broken. Had he never existed, Mari wouldn't argue with their father so much, Viktor would still have a father and Yakov's cafe would be doing even better. He killed the reputation of three families with his actions. Why couldn't he listen to his parents and be a good kid?  
  
 _You won't disappoint us again, Yuuri, right?  
  
You are dead to me already. I never had a son.  
  
_The words of his parents resonated inside his head, words that he heard the night he declared that he was homosexual. Words that also began to change form inside of Yuuri's mind. If he was dead to his family already, then he could die without them caring, right? That was the reason that they didn't allow Yakov to adopt him. They were angry that he wrote them a suicide note because they didn't want to know what happened to a failure such as himself. He was damaged goods, he needed to be disposed of.   
  
Yuuri made up his mind, he would cut his ties to Viktor and Yakov today and then..then he could try to escape in the night and kill himself. His family didn't need a goodbye, they made it clear. And in all honesty, the Japanese teen understood why they felt that way. He was so disgusting, seducing innocent, married men just for money. He wasn't worth the effort or the money that went into medical care or the regular visits by the people who cared about him. Why did they even care?   
  
He only ended that trail of thoughts once he felt hands grab him by his shoulders and shake him gently. He blinked a few times, his eyes re-focusing, to face a very distressed looking Yakov.   
  
“Yuuri, are you alright?”, the gruff voice of the man called out to him, but for some reason, it sounded so distant. The Japanese male felt light-headed after not eating for over a day.  
  
Still, the teen forced himself to smile again, nodding his head. “Yes, perfectly fine.”, he replied in his best impression of a cheerful voice, but his bottom lip twitched, betraying his true emotions. Yet, despite the urge to break down and cry again, Yuuri continued. “Why don't you two go back home? I'm fine, so there is no need to waste your time with me.”, he let out a fake laugh as if he was joking. His eyes met Viktor's, who looked even more worried than before.   
  
_He isn't buying it. Switch the topic.  
  
_ “Didn't you have a test on Monday?”, the younger teen asked his classmate, breaking eye contact again. “You should go study. I'll be okay.”  
  
Viktor frowned. Didn't they talk about it already? He told his friend that there was nothing as important as Yuuri's state to him, so why did the younger male still ask that? Not giving it a second thought, the silver-haired teen moved a hand to tilt Yuuri's chin back up to force their gazes to meet again.   
  
As soon as he did however, he realized his mistake. He just did something that his father might have done to Yuuri, too. He knew he messed up when the younger male's brown eyes widened in shock, staring at Viktor with nothing but pure terror. The older of the two immediately drew his hand back and looked away, muttering a quick apology.   
  
Yuuri's reason for looking so scared was not completely because of the rape attempt however. The Japanese male was certain that he was cursed now. He drew other people towards himself, only to bring them misfortune. “Yakov, Viktor...I want you two to leave.”, he repeated in a weak voice. He needed the two to leave before it was too late.  
  
Why did his heart hurt so much when he said that? He knew that it would be the last goodbye, he knew that he should be happy to free the two people that have done so much for him of the burden that he was. He should be smiling when he said that and yet he couldn't. He was being selfish, he wanted to keep the bond that he had with these two, but he knew that he wasn't allowed to. It was already almost too late, he had already thrown himself at Viktor now that Dmitri was in jail. It was just as his parents said. He was the worst, he was disgusting for seducing every man he came across and then ruining their lives. It wasn't rape last night, he had practically _asked_ for Viktor's father to fuck him. And now that the older Nikiforov was behind bars, he just went for the son, huh?  
  
“Why do you want us to leave, Yuuri?”, the silver-haired male asked with a hurt look on his face. “I promise I won't touch you like that again. I'm sorry that I scared you.”  
  
Yakov nodded. “If you want, we can simply talk and keep a distance to you. I understand if you are uncomfortable with anyone being close to you right now.”  
  
That wasn't it. If it was Viktor or Yakov, Yuuri didn't mind the touches. He knew that the two wouldn't hold him down, he knew that the two wouldn't hurt him, even if Viktor's move did indeed take him by surprise.   
  
“Please, just go...”, he repeated in a weaker voice, curling up into a ball to protect himself again.   
  
The old man shook his head. “We are not going anywhere, Yuuri. If it's about you 'wasting our time' as you put it, then you should know that-”  
  
“That's not it!”, the Japanese male suddenly shouted and started crying again, unable to keep it in any longer. “If you stay with me any longer, more misfortune will await you. I already destroyed your lives, so why do you keep holding on? Why don't you toss me aside?”  
  
“Yuuri, but you haven't destroyed anything..”, Viktor protested and frowned in confusion. Was it still about his family? He was grateful that his father was gone and so was his mother, so what was there to discuss?  
  
“It's all my fault.”, the Japanese male said, shaking his head. “I ruined Yakov's reputation by working at his cafe, I destroyed my own family...I...I..I put an innocent man behind bars, for God's sake..”  
  
“My father isn't-”  
  
Yuuri nodded, a shaky sigh leaving his parted lips. “That's what you say...but think about it...I _knew_ he was married when he first came into the cafe. And I still served him, I seduced him, I sucked him off and then I appeared in his house all of the sudden.”, he frowned. “Don't you think I should have left the moment I saw him again? I stayed, I provoked him. I practically begged to be fucked by him. And now, because of my selfishness, he is in prison and you are hurt.”  
  
“Yuuri, please, he...-”  
  
The Japanese teen interrupted again. He didn't want to hear any more lies, no more words that were said out of pity. “I don't even know what he saw in me. My body is so ugly and disgusting. I had three chances to die already, but I didn't. You have saved me every time, you were always there to help. Please, if you really want to help me so much, call the police and let me testify. I will at least fix what I have broken...”  
  
“Yuuri! Listen to me!”, Viktor protested, getting louder again, but not shouting as to not startle his classmate. “You didn't do anything wrong, please don't say such things. I can't let you testify while you are under the assumption that you-”  
  
“Then leave.”, the raven-haired male said, turning away. The world seemed to blur around the edges. Sure, he had taken off his contact lenses, but it had never been that bad. Why was he feeling so dizzy?  
  
“Yuuri, why are you pushing us away?”, the older teen asked, keeping his voice down, as he recalled everything his father has taught him about dealing with panicked patients.  
  
Yakov didn't speak, afraid that his loud, gruff voice would do even more damage to the Japanese male's health than had already been dealt. He simply observed and hoped that the older of the two teens could somehow calm Yuuri down.  
  
“I said I wanted you to leave. Can't you even do this for me?”, the youngest of the three sighed, crying into the bedsheets. He just wanted to be alone right now, he didn't deserve the attention he was given. It would be for the best if the two Russians simply gave up on him, it would be for the best if they both admitted what a waste of oxygen he was. They all knew it, he was good for absolutely nothing other than destroying people's lives.   
  
Viktor shook his head and stepped closer to his classmate instead. He wouldn't give in that easily, he knew that something wasn't right. Just a few hours ago Yuuri seemed to be happy to see him and now he wanted them both to leave? “Tell me why. You don't really want us to leave, do you?”  
  
The younger male didn't answer right away, staying silent for another minute. Only after sorting through his emotions Yuuri inhaled deeply, afraid that his voice would crack if he didn't suppress everything he felt at that moment before speaking up again. Causing the two to pity him even more is the last thing he wanted. “I really want you two to leave. In fact...”, he finally raised his voice. He wasn't even sure if he bought that lie himself. “I don't want to see either of you again. I will simply wait for my recovery and leave to Japan.”  
  
 _I will simply escape and drown myself again tonight.  
  
_ “Yuuri, what are you-”, Yakov raised his voice, speaking louder than he intended to, only to have the Japanese male flinch at his tone. Quickly, the old man recovered from his mistake, speaking in a quieter, softer voice. “I'm sorry. What do you mean that you don't want to see us again? Didn't you promise to come visit me and Milla?”  
  
The raven-haired male had also quieted down, his voice barely above a whisper now. “I lied to you. When I left for school with Viktor that day, I knew I wouldn't see you again. I hoped I never would.”  
  
 _Please, just hate me.  
  
_ “That is not like you.”, the older Russian commented, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “The Yuuri I know wouldn't say such things, he would never try to-”  
  
The Japanese teen interrupted and slammed his fist down onto the bedside table, the spoon inside the bowl of borscht jumping from the force. “The Yuuri you know is _dead._ Actually..he never existed in the first place.”  
  
The raven-haired male's voice was quiet and shaky, contrasting the slam of the fist on the table. It was obvious that the mask he put up was cracking, something was terribly wrong and Viktor saw it. He took a step forward to try and comfort his friend, but the raven-haired male shook his head and his voice grew louder again.   
  
“Don't come close.”, Yuuri hissed out, covering his face with his hands and looking at the older teen from between his fingers. “Just get out already.”  
  
Viktor opened his mouth to speak up again, but at the same his phone buzzed in his pocket. The silver-haired male pulled out the device and looked at the screen, the name of his mother showed up on it, so he simply sighed in defeat. “I'll step out for a bit. Yakov, please take care of Yuuri while I take this call, alright?”  
  
The old man nodded, allowing the older of the teens to leave the room without worries. As soon as he was out of the door, Viktor accepted the call but didn't speak first. After all, he wasn't even sure how to start. Yuuri was pushing them away, he hasn't eaten and he seems to blame himself for everything that had happened to both their families. Where would he start explaining it all to his mother?  
  
Luckily, it was Vera who started talking first.   
  
“Viktor, no matter what you do, don't leave Yuuri alone.”  
  
Well, that was hard when taking a call, wasn't it? “What happened to him? He keeps pushing Yakov and me away.”  
  
His mother responded right away, even if it wasn't the answer that Viktor was hoping for. “Does he also blame himself for what happened to Dmitri?”  
  
“Yeah, how did you--”, the teen wanted to ask something but was cut off by his mother talking again. From the sound of it she was also rummaging through the drawers as she spoke, seeming really frantic to find something.   
  
“Vitya, Yuuri isolates himself so he can die without worrying anyone.”, she said, quickly continuing so her son wouldn't interrupt her. “Before you say anything, let me speak. Yuuri believes that he is to blame for everything that happened. I heard something from his parents just now, they accused him of putting an innocent man behind bars. He needs constant supervision now, otherwise he might do something reckless. I am currently looking for the business card of a psychiatrist so I can call them before leaving for the hospital as well.”  
  
Viktor grit his teeth and balled his free hand into a fist, his anger rising again. “So his parents drove him to such negative thoughts even though he already is unstable?”  
  
“Pretty much. I'll head over there as soon as I can. Please try to cheer him up while I'm on my way, distract him with unrelated topics if you can, yes?”, the woman spoke in a hectic manner, sighing a little. The noises of rummaging through the drawers stopped, so Viktor assumed his mother found the card of the therapist. “I know it's a hard task, but the less Yuratschka can think about negative things, the more stable he becomes. And I want you to know how dire the situation is. If we fail to stabilize his condition, Yuuri won't live another day. It's quite a lot to handle, but you are a really tender person, so I'm sure you can do it.”  
  
“I-I'll try my best. How do you know he's planning to kill himself though?”, the silver-haired male asked insecurely, swallowing a lump that formed in his throat. He felt quite a lot of pressure on him, being responsible for the life of his classmate.  
  
“Well, you are not a cat person so you wouldn't know this, but cats tend to isolate themselves before death. And with Yuuri pushing you away so suddenly just after talking to you so kindly just the morning before, it is very likely he wants to die without people worrying about him.”, she explained, then added. “He must have come up with some plan of his own, so please try and figure out what it is without being direct about it.”  
  
“Alright, I'll do what I can.”, Viktor nodded, even though his mother couldn't see it. He ended the call and sighed. This would be a hard task to fulfill, all the words he said would either help his classmate or break him even further. He had to choose his words carefully if he wanted to help his friend and stabilize his condition. “I hope I can do it...”, he said to himself and went back inside the hospital room.

 


	14. Broken Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a PSA (Problem-solution approach) for everyone who is dealing with anxiety or depression or simply has personal trouble.   
> Please excuse me if it's not so well written, I did my best here.

It was hard on Viktor at the beginning. No matter what he said, Yuuri would just tell him to leave already, as if it was the only thing that the Japanese male could say anymore. At a loss for words, Viktor simply stood there, his mind frantically searching for a thing to say, weighing his options against each other, trying to imagine how the younger teen would react to his words. He couldn't afford a misstep, he needed to pick his words in a way that would distract Yuuri from his thought of getting rid of unwanted spectators, but he needed to make sure that it also calmed him down. He couldn't say surprising things or it would throw Yuuri off-balance even more..  
  
 _What can I possibly say to steer the conversation in such a direction?  
  
_ The silver-haired teen could practically hear the gears in his head turn with how much he was thinking of a correct sentence to say next, but then it hit him. Maybe this would be a good time to make good on the promise they made to each other two days ago, maybe this would also be a good opportunity to find out what Yuuri's plan was, if he truly planned to kill himself once he got rid of Yakov and himself? It was definitely worth a try.   
  
Once again, the raven-haired male sighed and shook his head. “Why won't you leave? It's the only wish I have right now, I want to be alone.”  
  
This only further spurred Viktor's decision on. Instead of leaving like the younger male asked him to, he took a step closer to the hospital bed and sat down in the chair that stood next to it. “I couldn't possibly leave until our promise is fulfilled, Yuuri.”  
  
This seemed to work, the Japanese male finally said something different this time and he finally looked at Viktor with his beautiful brown eyes. They were dull, but their color nonetheless captivated the Russian teen. “A promise?”, Yuuri echoed, his lips trembling slightly, but his voice was steady.   
  
Good, that seemed to be the right path to take. “Remember, I promised to tell you more about myself and you promised to do the same in return. I am very curious of you.”  
  
“You already heard from my family, haven't you? I am a son of two lawyers, a good-for-nothing who just mooches off of everyone else. And I-”, the Japanese male started, laughing at himself and shaking his head dismissively, a sour look taking over his features. “Why am I repeating things for you again? You know it, right?”  
  
So it seemed that family was the reason for this instability. Viktor needed to pick his words even more carefully from now on if he wanted to stabilize the younger male's condition somehow. He decided to steer the conversation away from the family. “I think you misunderstood me. I don't want to hear what your family says or what your status is. I just want to know my friend, Yuuri Katsuki, for the person that he is. I want to hear what _you_ have to tell me about yourself.”  
  
“Yakov, leave the two of us alone please. I need to talk to Viktor in private.”, the younger teen said, glad that this time the older Russian left with no questions asked. That's when Yuuri's gaze darkened again again and shifted back to Viktor. The timing was simply bad...did the person that called Viktor ask him to do something? Or did Viktor figure out his plans for tonight on his own? “Why do you want us to talk about that _now_ of all times, Viktor?”  
  
Why was the older teen being so genuinely and hopelessly nice when Yuuri already decided to die tonight? Why was the older male always keeping him alive? Why was it that whenever Viktor spoke in this calm, sweet voice, Yuuri felt like maybe everything wasn't as bad as he thought it was? His biggest bully turned into his only lifeline overnight, telling him that it was all okay, that Yuuri was apparently more than his parents said he was..  
  
“Why not? We didn't really have time to get to know each other, so now that both of us are here anyway, why don't we take the time for a little chat?”, the Russian replied to the question with a question of his own, his thin lips curving into a small smile. “If you don't feel comfortable starting, I can tell you about myself first.”  
  
“S-Sure, go ahead. I want to know more about you as a person and not as heir of the Nikiforov family.”, the dark-haired male said and leaned back to rest his head on the pillow again. He might as well let the Russian teen tell his story.  
  
“Alright. You are the first one to ask about my personality, Yuuri. I'm so happy!”, the older teen smiled and hummed, scooting closer to his friend. He then tapped his index finger against his lips in thought. “Where do I start....maybe I should start with my hobbies?”  
  
Yuuri nodded and his lips twitched in a feeble attempt of a smile. “Go ahead. I can't believe that you never been asked about your personality before...”  
  
“But it's true! You are the first to ever ask a thing like that!”, the silver-haired male pouted and looked at the younger teen with a small pout.   
  
It was so cute how Viktor puffed his cheeks and crossed his arms in such a dramatic fashion, Yuuri couldn't help but laugh a little. It wasn't any more that a short hoarse giggle, but he _laughed._ At the same moment Yuuri's own eyes widened in realization.  
  
 _Huh?  
  
_ Yuuri blinked once, twice and realized that the world was much clearer again. The pain in his chest was also much duller and the negative thoughts that he had were once again silenced. They weren't gone, but he didn't hear that voice telling him to kill himself when the silver-haired male looked at him so fondly, when they joked around like two old friends. He felt _safe_ and he felt like he was worth _something._ Viktor was opening up to him now, like he had never done before.   
  
“Is something the matter? Is my choice of music that shocking to you?”, the older teen said with a chuckle, trying to brighten his friend up even more. He wouldn't let the negative thoughts consume the Japanese teen, not when he seemed so close to recovering again.   
  
The shorter of the two looked up again and shook his head. He should listen carefully now that his classmate opened up to him. Now was not the time to be disrespectful and wallow in his own emotions, he needed to listen to what the silver-haired teen had to say so that Viktor wouldn't lose interest in their conversation.  
  
 _But isn't that exactly what you wanted, to die alone today?  
  
_ Yuuri shook his head. Why did the thought of dying today and leaving Viktor alone hurt all of the sudden? He knew he needed to do this. He needed to die soon so that the older teen wouldn't be burdened by his presence and so that he wouldn't experience any more misfortune due to his nature. But deep inside, something else started to blossom, a bright, weak feeling welled up in his chest, the image of Viktor crying at his funeral flashing through his mind before the all too familiar voice in his head grew louder again, drowning out any thoughts that might stop his suicidal mood.   
  
_That's right. You are useless, you need to die. Don't get swayed by sweet words, they will only hurt you both in the end. It's pity, he just sees you as a pitiful person.  
  
_ “Yuuri, I'm serious, are you okay? You are spacing out again..”, the taller male asked worriedly and leaned closer to examine the look on the Japanese male's face. It didn't give him any clues about the condition of the younger male however. It was so blank and neutral, yet so detached from reality at the same time. Even the question he posed was not met with an immediate and direct answer.   
  
Instead, the younger male looked up and stared at Viktor for a few seconds in silence before he finally spoke up again. “Why are you so nice to me, Viktor?”  
  
The question took the older teen by surprise. Why shouldn't he be nice to Yuuri? He was about to ask that, but bit his tongue. He remembered that he might trigger self-deprecating thoughts if he asked that, so instead he shrugged and continued smiling at his classmate. He decided that straightforward, honest answers was what Yuuri needed and deserved right now. “I am nice to you because I want to be. I think that everyone is entitled to doing what they want to do, Yuuri. Besides, you are my only real friend so far. Of course I want to be nice to you since ou are such an amazing person.”  
  
Again, the negative thoughts were dispelled, instead curiosity took over the Japanese male's mind. “You're lying! No way you never had any friends before me...”  
  
“I am telling the truth, Yuuri. Before you, everyone just stuck around for my status or money. Nobody cared about my personality.”, Viktor nodded and scooted even closer to his classmate, now sitting on the edge of the younger male's bed, to which the younger teen had shown no negative response, so Viktor continued. “You are the first person who treated me as an equal from day one. You are also the first person who is curious about me as a person, not as the rich and somewhat smart kid..”  
  
“What do you mean, 'somewhat smart'? You are an all-A student and you always answer questions that others can't. Don't sell yourself short, I've looked up to you this whole year...”, Yuuri shook his head and also leaned in closer to the silver-haired male, as if to make his point. Almost instantly however, he realized that he was almost invading the Russian's personal space, so he quickly withdrew. “I'm sorry. Please continue talking about yourself. It's very refreshing to listen to you.”  
  
And it wasn't a lie. With the way Viktor told about his interests and narrated some stories from his past really captured Yuuri's attention and he didn't even get to think about negative things. Every little story was told like a grand adventure that Viktor was a part of, making it very enjoyable and fun to listen to. But it wasn't only fun, the Japanese male found out more and more interesting details about his new friend, he got to know his personality and some of his quirks. He learned that despite giving off a cool, composed vibe, Viktor was actually very clumsy and hectic and always followed his heart. Though, he also learned that for a while the silver-haired male had to shut down his feelings completely, thus becoming the main school bully in the progress.   
  
“But now I'm finally free again.”, Viktor ended his story and smiled sweetly. “So, let me hear about you, Yuuri! I'm curious of what kind of person you are.”  
  
“Me?”, Yuuri perked up and suddenly felt nervous. After hearing how many competitions Viktor was in, how many different talents the older teen had...Yuuri felt like he was really way beneath the Russian. He had absolutely no interesting things to say about himself, so what could he even say? “I...uh...”  
  
“Well, if you have trouble starting out, why don't you tell me more about your hobbies? You mentioned ice skating and drawing as my mother asked you about it two days ago. I'd love to hear more about that.”, the older teen spurred on, trying to keep the conversation going. He just hoped that those hobbies wouldn't be connected to bad memories.  
  
Seemingly, they were. Yuuri's gaze darkened again and he lowered his head. “Well...I got into ice skating to deal with my anxiety. My grandparents refused to let me see a psychiatrist since it would ruin the family reputation if it got out, so the only way I could get away from various thoughts that would eat away at me was through sports. At first I just took ballet when I was 5 years old and then my ballet teacher suggested that I try ice skating.”, he shrugged and continued. “My parents laughed at my skating skills and said it was a waste of time, my friend Yuko however supported me and cheered me on, so I continued to skate for her.”  
  
“You skated for her, huh? Did you have a crush on her then?”, the older teen asked out of sheer curiosity.  
  
“Well, as a kid I thought that we had something special...but ultimately, she turned me down to date a mutual friend of ours, Nishigori. He was always mean to me when we were kids, so I really felt betrayed.”, the Japanese teen explained with a small chuckle. “But I'm over it and Yuko and I are still good friends. Even Nishigori has become nicer to me.”  
  
“So little Yuuri is even more popular than me, what a shock!”, the silver-haired male said with a small gasp of his own, restoring the cheerful mood between them again.   
  
“Wait, what? That's not true, Viktor!”, Yuuri protested and shook his head. “I'm not popular, I just have a few friends back in Japan, that's all.”  
  
“Exactly. And now you have a friend in Russia, too. It's much better to have good friends than to be popular. You can always ask your friends for help and should something happen to you, your friends wouldn't hesitate to hurry to your aid.”, Viktor explained, smiling a soft smile.  
  
“Is...is that why you saved me three days ago? You jumped after me without hesitation too...”, the younger teen asked, looking at his classmate again. Surely, back then there was a different reason that drove the older male forward.   
  
Viktor nodded and smiled a sweet smile at Yuuri. “Yes. I like you and I would be very sad if you'd die, so for me there was no reason to hesitate.”  
  
“You...You'd be _sad_ if I died?”, Yuuri echoed. His plan was to kill himself tonight to save Viktor from more suffering, but now the older male said that he'd be sad with Yuuri gone? So what now? He couldn't just continue mooching off of both families, but he also couldn't just kill himself anymore, either...maybe he should tell Viktor the truth now, maybe he should come clean about his plans for tonight.  
  
“Yes, Yuuri, I would be sad. And I am sure that Yuko, Yakov and my mom would all be sad, too. You have a lot of people who love you, Yuuri. Rely on us some more, will you?”, the silver-haired male said in a calm and harmonic voice, gently stroking the younger male's cheek.  
  
Yuuri was unsure what to do. He didn't want to hurt Viktor, but he was also hoping to get some sort of advice from his friend.. He chewed his bottom lip nervously and deliberated on his options, but finally decided to simply tell the truth. “Viktor...there is something I want you to know. You need to promise that you won't get angry, alright?”  
  
“I won't get angry, no matter what you are about to tell me, Yuuri. I am here for you.”, the older teen insisted and continued stroking the soft skin on the younger male's cheek, just under the cut from the shattered glass a few days prior.  
  
“Alright...”, Yuuri nodded and leaned into the comforting touch. “I...I was pushing you and Yakov away because I believe that you two would suffer if you stayed with me. I am certain that I only bring misfortune to people, that I am not worthy of staying alive. I planned on killing myself tonight, to liberate you all from the curse that I bring with me. But now you said that you'd be sad if I died. What should I do now? I can't just keep on bringing you so much misfortune..”  
  
Viktor responded by pulling the younger male closer, gently hugging him. “Yuri, you are in no way a curse. If it hadn't been for you, I'd never be as strong and independent of a person as I am now. If it hasn't been for you, my mother would still only care about the medals that I bring home, My dad would be still bossing everyone around, he'd still blackmail people into doing his bidding. You saved not only my family, but also the whole city from his evil ways.” The silver-haired male paused to give the Japanese teen a patient smile. “If anything, you are a blessing, not a curse.”  
  
“But my parents said that-”, Yuuri protested again, only to be cut off by the older teen again.  
  
“Your parents weren't thinking straight, Yuuri. They were ashamed to face you after neglecting you for so long, so they spoke the exact opposite of what was on their heart. They are hard at work to make a case for you, so that my father will never even think of harassing you ever again. Even if they said horrible things to you, they didn't mean it...”  
  
Yuuri shook his head and pulled away from the older teen's embrace. “Even if they didn't mean it, what they said was true. I seduced your father, I deserve to be punished for that. I also inconvenienced you and your mother a lot now....”, he sighed and his gaze darkened again. Why was it so hard to accept the kindness that Viktor offered him? Why couldn't he believe the older teen when hearing such a strong argument for his innocence?   
  
“Yuuri...please, look at me.”, the silver-haired teen spoke in a softer voice, unsure of how to console his friend. He said everything that he believed to be true. Why did Yuuri ignore what he said earlier about his father? It was so hard to get through to the younger male with words and his actions barely did anything either. “You can believe me, you know? You aren't to blame for-”  
  
Just as he was about to console Yuuri, the door to the room opened and Vera Nikiforov stepped in, followed by a young dark-haired woman wearing an ID of a psychiatrist. The blond woman smiled gently at Yuuri and waved at him, to which the teen politely bowed his head. Clearly, Yuuri was more interested in the woman that stood behind Mrs. Nikiforov. Only as the two women finally came closer to Yuuri's bed did the raven-haired male speak again.   
  
“See, Viktor... I _am_ damaged goods.”, Yuuri said with a self-deprecating smile, lowering his gaze again. A psychiatrist...his parents always were against him seeing one due to his grandpa's teachings, but even they realized that it was too late for him. “I'm such a disgrace to the Katsuki family...”, he said under his breath, so quiet that the two women didn't catch it. Viktor already knew that he was dealing with a mental disorder, but how did Mrs. Nikiforov find out?  
  
“Yuuri, this is Mako Akayama. Starting today, she will come to visit you alongside me, Viktor or your family. She is originally from Japan, so she will be able to communicate with you easier.”, the blond woman introduced her colleague.  
  
Yuuri nodded and bowed slightly. “Nice to meet you. I hope we get along.”  
  
The Japanese teen remained polite, but his voice was monotone and distant. He wasn't normal, this was clear. It wasn't even a psychologist, it was a straight up psychiatrist he was dealing with. He would forever be branded as 'different', he would forever have the record of being mentally ill. He didn't want that, if getting help meant ruining his and his family's futures like this, he would rather go on without getting any help. He was truly more than just a disgrace, he was the downfall of the Katsuki family's pride.   
  
The thought of killing himself tonight was suddenly even more so appealing than it was before, he didn't want to burden the Nikiforovs with more work and he certainly didn't want to cause even more medical expenses. But on the other hand, he also didn't want to make Viktor sad with his suicide. So he was stuck in his current situation, he was certain that his parents would yell at him again the next time they came to visit him. The medical bills in Russia were extremely high, even more so if it was the bill of a psychiatrist, considering how much mental disorders were looked down upon in Russia. Just what on earth should he do?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanations to the thoughts behind this chapter:
> 
> Depression and Anxiety don't need a 'why', they simply occur and there is nothing you can do about it.  
> Despite knowing that you haven't done anything wrong, despite everyone telling you that you are fine just the way you are,   
> you still blame yourself for the smallest things and focus on every so little detail, every negative word outweighing the positive emotions.   
> It's very hard to get out of that dark place, especially with the society branding the people with disorders as the 'other' and the 'different' people.  
> It's very hard to find the courage to get the needed treatment. I am reflecting on my past self in Yuuri here, a time where I refused to see a professional.   
> I highly recommend that anyone dealing with such problems should get help, talk to a friend, a relative, a professional...anyone. Just don't be afraid to get help if you are in such a situation, especially if life starts to seem bleak and pointless. There is someone who cares about you, so don't be rash and take your life, please reconsider and just get the help you need.  
> Find a person whose presence is comforting to you and who is willing to support you all the way, be it your parents, your homeroom teacher, a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.  
> Just please, I speak on behalf of everyone here...please don't end your life.


	15. Captive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year with a not so happy chapter!  
> (See end notes for explanations for thoughts behind this chapter and also for some warnings)

-4 years later-

 

Yuuri laid on his bed in Hasetsu and looked up at one of the posters that hung on the wall. It was Viktor, in his role as the the mafia boss in an 80's style movie. He looked elegant and cunning, wearing a dark thee-piece suit that accentuated his well-built body. It was nice to see that his friend got his wish fulfilled, the Russian was spoken about as the new rising star, every host who spoke of the silver-haired male praised his acting skills. And Yuuri was glad it was that way. After all, Viktor helped him so much over the course of the past four years, he helped him never miss a therapy session, he helped him and his family talk out their troubles and insecurities. Viktor was the reason that he was still alive, that he and his family finally got along and that he didn't blame himself for what happened to Dmitri anymore. Sure, sometimes he still had depressive stages or panic attacks, but his family knew how to handle them and for that, he was thankful.   
  
Despite his fears, his family didn't look down on him for undergoing the therapy. In fact, Toshiya even went on to get therapy himself, to be more accepting of his son's orientation. It seemed that Yuuri's life was finally great again. He had a family that accepted him, he found his passion for art again and of course, he-  
  
“Yuuri, dear! Come downstairs, your coach is here!”, Hiroko called out from downstairs, making Yuuri jump up.  
  
That was right. He finally pursued his passion of ice skating professionally, while also dating his coach. It was nice to love someone so unconditionally and wholeheartedly, Yuuri felt complete when he was with his coach. Thus, not wanting to let him wait any longer, the raven-haired male threw on his training clothes and hurried down the stairs to meet the older male.   
  
“Good morning, Ichirou!”, Yuuri greeted with a small smile, adjusting his glasses.  
  
The brunette nodded and waved, flashing a smile of his own. “Good morning, Yuuri. Ready for some training? The Grand Prix Finals are not far off, so we have to stay in peak condition!”  
  
Thanks to Ichirou's meticulous and exhausting training program, the raven-haired skater made it into the Grand Prix Series, winning himself two silver medals. He always got praised for winning, so hearing such positive feedback spurred him on. Besides, Yuuri was determined to repay his coach by standing on the podium in the finals, to show what he was capable of. The finals were in Sochi this year, so maybe he could also meet Viktor and his mother there and impress them with a medal? The Nikiforovs never got to watch him skate so far despite Vera being so excited to see it. Well, that settled it. He would make sure that he perfected his performance, he would show his friend how much he evolved as a person, he wanted to show Viktor the fruits of his labor, just like he had watched all of the movies that the older male had starred in so far.  
  
“Let's do it, I'll work extra hard today!”, the younger male promised his coach and nodded in determination. Honestly the thought of Viktor watching him skate was exciting, so he was filled with motivation. “I'll see you later, mom!”, he gave his mother a gentle hug before following his coach to the ice castle.   
  
“I've never seen you so pumped. Did something happen?”, the brunette asked in a calm voice, but his gaze was filled with suspicion.   
  
Yuri shook his head and spoke what was on his mind. “I just thought about how nice it will be to see my friends again in Sochi. You know, since I used to live there for a year, I want them to come watch me skate..”  
  
“That's just another silly thought.”, Ichirou said with a dark look in his eyes, his voice growing cold. “I thought that after dating me for a year, you'd know better. You have me. I will always watch you skate so forget everything else.”

 

The raven-haired male swallowed. How could he let that slip? He knew that the older male easily got jealous. But maybe he could still contact Viktor in secret? He really missed his friend..but would he even have the time to come over? He was a famous actor, surely he would be too busy to watch him skate. He should really just forget about it. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”  
  
“Good boy.”, the coach praised and his eyes softened.  
  
Yuuri nodded. Last time he talked about friends, he ended up getting slapped by the brunette multiple times. But that was okay. The younger male knew he deserved this. Ichirou came up to him and confessed his love a year ago while Yuuri was going through a bad depressive phase, the taller male helped him so much, he encouraged him to draw, he helped him skate. The brunette truly loved him with his whole heart. The least Yuuri could do in return is to stop making his boyfriend jealous.  
  
“Yeah, I'm sorry. Let's get on to practice, shall we? I promise I won't disappoint you again.”, Yuuri nodded.   
  
The brunette smiled and took Yuuri's hand into his own as they walked into the ice rink. It was those moments of tenderness that the younger male cherished the most, the moments where he just wanted to stop the time and enjoy this feeling. With Ichirou, these moments were rare, but Yuuri treasured them even more so. His coach was very strict and very temperamental, but Yuuri loved him. Though, there were a few incidents that made the raven-haired male uncomfortable - like the time they shared a bed and Ichirou suddenly started getting very touchy. Yuuri stopped him because he was not ready for such advances. He had to think of the incident with Mr. Nikiforov with every little intimate touch, so he wasn't ready to do something of this sort with Ichirou. But of course, the older male had no way of knowing what happened to him, so he took it negatively. This situation almost escalated into an argument, but the Japanese male was glad that they could find a compromise. After all, no matter what, he loved the older male.  
  
 _Ichirou's fingertips started creeping under his pajama pants, teasing the skin on his hip.  
  
“Um...please, Ichirou...I asked you to stop, so no more of this.”, the raven-haired male protested meekly, grabbing a hold of his boyfriend's wrist. Yet the brunette didn't withdraw his hand, instead chuckling playfully.  
  
“Playing hard to get, are you?”, he whispered into Yuuri's ear, kissing his earlobe in a teasing manner.  
  
A shiver ran down the younger male's spine as he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, fear creeping up inside of him as images of a middle-aged Russian man flashed behind his closed eyelids.  
  
“What's wrong? I thought you loved me, don't you trust me that I won't hurt you?”, the older male said in a disappointed voice.  
  
Yuuri shook his head. “No, n-no! I trust you...but I'm just not ready yet.”  
  
He wasn't even sure what he was referring to when he said that he wasn't ready. Was he not ready for sex or was he not ready to tell anyone he was almost raped? He didn't know.  
  
“I'm sorry”, the younger male said and finally dared to look at his boyfriend.  
  
“Well...fine. I just hope you aren't lying. In that case, why don't you promise me something. If you win a medal at the GPF, I want you to have sex with me.”, the brunette said. Seeing the insecurity in the shorter male's eyes, he sighed. “Look, if you constantly refuse like that, I will just assume that you don't love me. You are just staying with me to profit off of my kindness.”  
  
Yuuri jumped at that and turned to face Ichirou “No! Of course I love you!”, he protested and hugged the brunette. “I-If that's what it takes to reassure you, then I'll make that promise.”  
  
_But to this day, Yuuri was very unsure about the promise. Would he be able to leave his past behind for the person he loved? Should he just tell Ichirou about what happened with Mr.Nikiforov or would that also be a catalyst to make him angry? After all, the brunette didn't like it when he spoke of other men, no matter what the context was.   
  
Yuuri glided out onto the ice, but his thoughts were elsewhere and his motivation was long gone. Why did he even think of this incident today? Of course, he had to make up his mind before next week rolled around, but why didn't he wait until the afternoon to indulge in these thoughts? Why did he ruin his own motivation by thinking of the disappointment in Ichirou's voice?   
  
As he mulled over his own past actions, he didn't notice how his coach gave him instructions, so he was taken aback by a slap to his cheek. He finally looked up to meet the dark-brown eyes of the older male, his hand wandering up to touch his own cheek, where the hit had connected.  
  
“Why are you spacing out? Didn't I tell you we had to train hard today and didn't you _just_ promise not to disappoint me?”, Ichirou spat out with a sour expression, obviously mad at Yuuri for spacing out like that. “You have a medal to win, remember that. I am raising the difficulty level of your free skate, so you can earn more points for the technical parts. So you better listen when I talk to you.”

 

The raven-haired male nodded. “I'm sorry. What were you saying I should practice?”  
  
“You better be sorry. It's like I'm the only one taking this competition seriously.”, Ichirou sighed and dismissively waved his hand, as if to calm down a little. “I want you to practice the Quadruple Salchow and then try to do a triple flip. You will be going against Jean-Jeacques Leroy, so you better work on your moveset before stepping out on the ice unless you want to embarrass yourself.”  
  
Yuuri nodded again and skated a little further away from his coach, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. He knew he was better at step sequences than jumps, but he didn't even dare to bring that up right now. Ichirou was really mad at him and if he didn't do this right, he would surely get scolded again. He could do this, he told himself. Yet no matter how much he tried to reassure himself that he was capable of performing the jumps he was told to do, the mad look that his coach had on his face wouldn't go away, making him extremely anxious.  
  
“What's the holdup?”, Ichirou called out in annoyance.  
  
Yuuri shook his head, trying to dispel his negative thoughts and make himself focus on the task at hand. “Nothing, sorry!”  
  
Yuuri knew he had to do this _now_. Otherwise, he would make his coach mad again. He promised not to disappoint and he was determined to live up to that.  
  
The Japanese skater sped up on the ice and positioned his feet for a Salchow, kicking off the ice and performing four spins in mid-air, only to fall down upon landing, his right foot bending as he fell and twisting into an unnatural position. Yet, Yuuri saw the brunette throw him a glare, so he bit back the scream, instead whining in pain as he sat up on the ice and tried to get up again. He desperately grabbed onto the bounds, pulling himself into a standing position and immediately letting out another pained sound. His right foot felt like it was on fire, the pain shooting through the leg in waves.   
  
It hurt so much to just stand, how could he jump again? He didn't think he could even move without the support of the bounds any more. Should he tell his coach about it or should he act like it was nothing? Would he be able to act normal when his leg hurt this much? And most importantly, wouldn't a lackluster performance make the older male even more upset? The only rational thing to do was to just tell his coach how much it hurt, to ask him for a break and some ice for his ankle so it wouldn't swell up. However, just as he was about to do so, Ichirou spoke again.  
  
“Come on..one fall is all it takes to bring you down?”, he asked and shook his head. “Let me see how bad it is. I'll be the judge of whether you can continue training or not.”

 

The younger male nodded. He contemplated if he should ask for help on getting to the bench on the side of the ice rink, but he figured that he shouldn't say anything for the time being. He really said a lot of wrong things today and made Ichirou very upset. So the less he spoke, the better.  
  
As he slowly moved along the edge of the rink, grabbing onto the bounds for some support, the coach kept glaring at him, as if to urge him to move faster. After Yuuri finally managed to exit the rink, Ichirou sighed heavily as if it was him who was in pain after moving so much. “Don't be such a drama queen. If you can move, I'm sure it's nothing.”  
  
There was something about that phrasing that utterly disturbed the younger male, pulling him back to a more submissive and frightened self. Yuri Plisetsky's words echoed in his head, the words that the blond had said after kicking him about thirty times.  
  
 _Look at the drama queen...acting like he can't get up._  
  
What a waste of oxygen.  
  
“I'm sorry...”, Yuuri muttered under his breath out of reflex, lowering his head. The trauma from his teen years was so mentally scarring that to this day, the raven-haired male believed that he had to apologize for every little thing to avoid getting physically hurt or verbally abused. And with Ichirou, that might not be too far from the truth.  
  
The brunette shook his head once more, clearly disappointed in the younger male. “What a waste of my time. Take off the skates, I'll look at your feet.”  
  
“I'm sorry.”, the raven-haired male repeated, sitting down on a bench and taking off the skates. As the tight skates slid over his injured ankle, Yuuri bit back a whimper, instead hissing in pain as he sucked in air through his teeth.  
  
Just as the skates and the socks came off, the taller male immediately got on his knees in front of Yuuri and inspected his foot as if not to waste any more of his precious time. He slightly pushed it from side to side, to see where exactly the injury was. As he pushed against the ankle, it was soft and the raven-haired male let out a pained scream, unable to hold it back. Tears stung in Yuuri's eyes, but he didn't allow himself to cry, instead looking down at the older male, his gaze catching on the area around the ankle that started bruising severely. That definitely did not look healthy or fine in any way.  
  
“A-Am I going to be okay?”, Yuuri timidly asked, hoping that it was alright and that it would stop hurting soon.  
  
Ichirou looked up at the younger male in disbelief, analyzing the worried gaze that his boyfriend was giving him. There was no way that the younger male didn't know what all that meant, right? However, upon seeing the utterly frightened look that the raven-haired male was giving him, it became clear that Yuuri meant the question just as he posed it. It became obvious to him that Yuuri knew nothing about possibly the most common injury among sportsmen. Thus, Ichirou had absolutely no problem lying to his student. “You'll be fine. You should rest today, we'll continue practice tomorrow. Don't forget that you have to win a medal at the finals, so you don't have much time to slack off.”  
  
“T-Then let's keep training!”, Yuuri said, but his voice cracked so much that not even he himself found it believable. Still, his coach decided to humor that comment and show the him that it was impossible to train like that.

 

Ichirou pulled the younger male to his feet and held him by the shoulders. “Alright. If you are so set on training, then here is your assignment. I'll let go of you, try taking two steps forward.”  
  
“That's it?”, the shorter male asked in surprise, but then nodded. “Got it, I surely can do that!”  
  
He said it with such a conviction since it was such an easy task. Or at least Yuuri thought it would be, since walking is something he does every day and even just now he could move on the ice, albeit with a lot of trouble. As soon as Ichirou let go of him however, the raven-haired male winced in pain. He still took one step forward, determined to fulfill the task he was given, but he sunk to his knees as soon as he put weight on his right foot.

  
“See? I won't be able to have you even stand straight on the ice. It's useless to try and train right now, so forget it. I'll bring you home for today.”, the older male said with an exhausted sigh. Even though the tone of his voice was friendly, it was easy to tell how annoyed and disappointed the brunette was. “Make sure you don't move today and cool your ankle.”  
  
The younger male nodded, but didn't speak. His mood was at it's lowest point since four years ago. He disappointed his boyfriend, he made him get up for their training only to injure himself. The finals were just a week away, what would he do to heal until then? He promised to win a medal that they could then celebrate together, he wanted to put all of his past behind him and start anew. He wanted to prove that he changed and that he wasn't useless any more. He wanted to make his parents proud, to give them a son they could be really proud of now that he received so much love and care from them. But that all amounted to nothing. If he wasn't as bad at the quad Salchow, he could have avoided that, he wouldn't be injured now and Ichirou wouldn't be burdened by his injury.  
  
“I'm sorry.”, he said and looked up to the brunette, his look conveying how devastated he felt. He wanted someone to promise him that despite that all, they wouldn't leave him, but he felt like every bond he built up was so fragile that an setback like this would damage it irreparably.“I really didn't want to disappoint you. And now you have to help me walk home...I'm just a burden to you.”  
  
“You are a burden today, but don't worry, it'll get better. You can give it your all tomorrow.”, the older male said with a smirk. Of course a sprain as severe as that wouldn't heal overnight. But that was fine. Yuuri wouldn't say anything about the pain tomorrow, he was sure of it. In Yuuri's current state, he was too afraid to damage their relationship to bring up how much pain he experienced or that he felt he wasn't fit enough to perform certain jumps.   
  
Oblivious to the injury's severity, Yuuri nodded. “I swear I will not disappoint you again. I'm so sorry for all that happened today, please don't be mad at me..”  
  
That just proved the brunette's point. Yuuri was afraid of abandonment to the point where he would do anything that he said. So the moment when Yuuri would feel useless would be the moment he'd obey everything he told him to do.  
  
“As I said, Don't worry. I am sure that you'll do just fine tomorrow. We'll try the task I gave you today again, and this time, you'll be able to do it.”, the older male said reassuringly, putting his hand on Yuuri's lower back while stretching the other hand out to help him stand up.  
  
“I'll do my best and show you a nice quad Salchow tomorrow!”, the raven-haired male said with conviction, taking the hand and getting back up with Ichirou's help. “Thank you for always being there for me.”  
  
“No problem. That's just something a boyfriend does, right?”, he said with a sly grin, guiding the younger male to the locker room where he sat Yuuri down to help him put his left shoe and his jacket on.   
  
As the brunette kneeled in front of him and tied his shoelaces, Yuuri's mind was once again stuck in it's own loop. Being there for each other is what couples do...but so far he had been only taking, only using Ichirou's expertise and kindness to achieve his own goals. What did he do for the brunette besides disappoint him? Nothing. He neither repaid him by accepting his sexual advances, nor did he perform to the older male's expectations in competitive skating. That definitely needed to change. He would win that medal at the finals and he would have sex with the older male to mark that as the day of change. But for that to happen, he needed to give it his all starting tomorrow, to finally be a boyfriend whom Ichirou could be proud of.

 

If only he knew that that promise wouldn't be so easy to keep...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Pairing with an OC (kinda, not really), toxic relationship, unhealthy relationship, exploitation, manipulation, mentions of emotional and physical abuse.
> 
> (Explanation behind the chapter, basically a lot of personal crap)  
> This and the next chapter is me dealing with past relationships that almost drove me to suicide, some minor current troubles in the relationship and some family trouble.   
> Also, this is me coping with my self-destructive personality when it comes to relationships.   
> When my depression is telling me how worthless I am, it's hard to see why someone would waste their time on talking to me or why anyone could date me. That's why no matter how much I get hurt by words or actions, it's still very hard to say the truth of how much I get hurt. Because if I say something, I feel selfish and unlikable. I fear abandonment if I act out of line or voice too many wishes.  
> I decided to skip the therapy process in this fanfiction, since I don't really want to remember what I said and how I felt back when I was undegoing therapy. I will sprinkle some bits and pieces of the therapy throughout the story, but giving a detailed report felt too personal.


	16. Cover

The next week was living hell for Yuuri. He kept up a smile, but the pain in his leg got worse and worse. He wrapped his foot in layers upon layers bandages to support it's weight just a little better, but jumping still felt like stepping on glass shards, the pain from his sprained ankle getting worse with each jump and the bandage around his foot getting tighter every day in a futile attempt of supporting his injured foot. His best friend during the week was a bottle of painkillers, that was empty by the time the GPF rolled around. All the while his ankle made no signs of getting better, on the contrary, it had swollen up to the point where he barely could fit his skates over it any more.

 

Every time Yuuri's coach asked him if he wanted to take a break, the raven-haired male came up with the same response and the same fake smile. “I'm fine.”  
  
Every time the brunette looked at him in concern, the Japanese skater just smiled, trying to hide how much the ankle hurt, how the simple act of standing was so agonizing that he just wanted to sit down and cry his eyes out. But instead of doing any of it, Yuuri simply swallowed two more pills while Ichirou wasn't looking and continued practicing. He wouldn't allow himself to repeat the same mistake. Whenever he felt like telling his boyfriend that he was in a lot of pain, the older male's words played on repeat in his head, making him force back the tears of pain that stung in his eyes.  
  
_You are a burden. But tomorrow will be better._  
  
What a waste of my time..  
  
You _**just**_ _promised to not disappoint me, Yuuri..._

 

The younger male knew he couldn't allow himself to slip up and just tell Ichirou how much it hurt, to tell him how agonizing it was to move his right foot. How nauseous he felt from all the painkillers he took, how he got more and more depressed with every passing day. And of course he couldn't say how unreal it seemed to stand on the podium now. After all, should he fail to get a medal, no doubt Ichirou would leave him. That was a promise to prove how much Yuuri loved the brunette, to get a medal and give the older male all he wanted...but that promise seemed so distant and unreal now.  
  
_It's useless._  
  
_**I'm**_ _useless._  
  
Please don't leave me.  
  
With self-deprecating thoughts and a heavy heart, Yuuri now stood at the ice rink in Sochi, where hundreds of fans had gathered to watch the top six skaters of this season skate. The raven-haired male found it still very hard to believe that he really was one of them. In addition to that, he wasn't even in the last place points-wise, meaning he didn't have to go first in the Grand Prix Finals. He looked around, inspecting the rows of spectators, who called out words of encouragement for their favorite skaters. Yuuri picked up bits and pieces of Russian, a language that seemed so distant and cold due to all the memories he had of his school and his time in hospital, but the language was also very dear to him, it was something that he shared with Viktor, whom he still texted in Russian whenever they both got the time to text. As the Japanese skater thought of Viktor, his heart felt even heavier. Yuuri couldn't even invite his friend to watch him skate, or at least ask him to watch the footage of him through the live stream. But perhaps that was for the best as well. After all, he couldn't possibly deliver a peak performance after swallowing four painkillers at once this morning and then still feeling like his foot was on fire..

 

Perhaps it was best to save himself the embarrassment of having his closest friend watch him fail.

* * *

  
  
“Mom, hurry. We'll miss his performance at this rate.”, the silver-haired male tapped his foot impatiently as he adjusted his sunglasses, which were for disguise purpose only.  
  
The blond woman nodded as she rushed downstairs. “Sorry, sorry! I just had to get the flowers for Yuratschka, it is his big day after all!”  
  
Viktor smiled sweetly. His mother was right, it was a big day indeed. He was so proud of the Japanese male, he managed to get two silver medals and qualified to compete in one of the biggest skating competitions in the whole world. It was so great to see him steadily improving, to see him pushing past his depression to achieve his goal. He and his mother were both proud of Yuuri and they were happy that Toshiya and Hiroko finally accepted and supported his son for what he is.  
  
“You're right. I hope he doesn't mind celebrating with us after the competition, at least until the banquet rolls around.”, Viktor said, politely opening the door leading into the ice palace for his mother.  
  
The Russian woman chuckled and nodded. “It will be the first time we see him skate live after all. No matter how he does in the Finals, I am proud he even made it this far.”  
  
That was true. It was a big honor to even qualify for this championship and it was really obvious by the Signs put up outside the ice palace and the banners that graced the main hall. The main hall was decorated with the photos of competing skaters, as well as the names of their coaches. Viktor and Vera stopped by the picture of Yuuri in his short program outfit, a sky blue costume with frilly cuffs and asymmetrical cut, making him look like some sort of ice spirit. He looked beautiful without his glasses and his hair styled in a different manner.  
  
While Viktor was in awe over how great his former classmate looked, his mother was focused on a different aspect. “Ichirou Akayama...I feel like I heard this name before...” she murmured to herself, not realizing she spoke out loud.  
  
But her son replied, following her trail of thought. “Wasn't Akayama the last name of Yuuri's psychiatrist?”  


“You're right! Ichirou is her brother, I heard the two of them frequently visit each other...”, Vera nodded as she remembered the name. “I hope he supports Yuuri just like his sister did.”  
  
“We'll see that once we've seen Yuuri skate. So let's go sit down and wait for his turn, yes? I bet he'll be super surprised to see us after his program!”, Viktor beamed, imagining all the things he could possibly say to greet his friend. This was so exciting, Yuuri would probably get flustered over them coming here and blush cutely like he did at all the compliments that Viktor threw his way. He couldn't wait for the show to start.

* * *

  
  
_The next skater, representing Japan: Yuuri Katsuki!_  
  
The dreaded announcement came on like a death sentence. Yuuri felt like he couldn't breathe any more, let alone hear anything clearly. The cheers of the crowd were so loud, Ichirou's voice telling him to not mess up the Salchow was like fingernails on a chalkboard, making his head throb with an inexplicable pain, making his heart ache like he had been stabbed. His breathing came out short and irregular, his brain running in circles, counting down to the first jump where he would inevitably fail; his thoughts were like a broken record, repeating the same phrase over and over.  
  
_He will leave you. You're not worth it. You're a failure. Just give up, it doesn't matter any more._  
  
But Yuuri nonetheless stepped out on the ice, his movements were mechanical as he tried to conceal the pain that he felt with each and every movement. He thought that taking painkillers would help, but it only made his situation worse. Now he not only felt pain, he also felt nauseous and dizzy, like he was about to faint any moment now. And despite all that he still went out onto the ice, he stood in his opening pose and waited for his music to start.  
  
“Doesn't he seem a little strange to you?”, Vera asked her son in a hushed whisper. The movements that Yuuri usually had shown on the ice were fluid and captivating, every spin, every step sequence was perfectly in sync with the music. But the performance that the raven-haired male had shown right then seemed forced and painful. His face had shown no joy as he skated.  
  
Viktor remained silent, only nodding and furrowing his eyebrows. Something was definitely odd, this was definitely not the Yuuri that they knew. During the qualifying competitions, Yuuri always smiled, like he was free from all the negativity when he skated this program, seeing as his theme for this season was freedom, but the face Yuuri made now was more that of a captive, of someone who is forced to skate against his will.  
  
_The next planned jump is the quadruple Salchow...Katsuki had been having trouble nailing it so far..._  
  
The raven-haired male sped up from his step sequence, positioned his feet and kicked off the ice. Unfortunately, he kicked off with his right foot, sending a paralyzing wave of pain through his whole body, making him go stiff and crash down onto the ice with full force, his head impinging on the hard surface.  
  
_He fell...but he can still make it if he stands up and continues._  
  
The announcer sounded so encouraging, but Yuuri couldn't find the strength to stand up any more. He couldn't even move any longer, as if he had been paralyzed. His vision started to blur around the edges and unable to hold on to his consciousness any longer, Yuuri passed out as the ice beneath him stained red. Finally, he felt no more pain after tormenting himself for seven days straight.  
  
_Yuuri Katsuki has stopped moving altogether! Call in the paramedics immediately!_  
  
Viktor and Vera also immediately made their way down to the rink side, waiting for the medics to carry Yuuri off the ice, just to hurry after them.  
  
“Excuse me, miss, but we will be taking care of Mr. Katsuki...”, one of the paramedics said, trying to shoo Vera.  
  
Viktor took off his sunglasses again and shook his head. “My mom is the best surgeon here in Russia, please let her come along.”  
  
Immediately recognizing the Russian actor, the medic put two and two together, realizing that the blond woman was the owner of the Nikiforov clinic in St. Petersburg. “Alright. Your help will be very much appreciated. I apologize for coming off as rude.”  
  
For once, Viktor was glad that he was famous enough to be easily recognizable, for in this case it saved him trouble instead of bringing it. The medics carried the unconscious skater to the locker rooms, laying him down onto a bench and checking his vital signs. Ichirou also followed along, throwing glares at the two Russians from a distance, but Vera and Viktor were both too preoccupied with Yuuri to notice.  
  
“First, let's try to stop the laceration on his head, then take off his skates as we transport him to the hospital”, Vera suggested after all the vital signs were confirmed to be present. Last time Yuuri was bleeding from his head, she underestimated the blood loss, resulting in the young skater going to the CCU, so she was determined to not let it happen again.  
  
“Agreed.”, the medic said, then turned to the brunette who followed them. “Did Katsuki take any medication that might prevent proper coagulation?”  
  
“I don't think so.”, the older Japanese male said, shrugging. He didn't really care, if he were to reply honestly.  
  
That lackluster response made Viktor really angry. “What kind of coach doesn't ask their students if they are taking medication? Seriously, you don't even seem worried that Yuuri hurt himself badly.”  
  
“You two are on a first-name basis, huh?”, that must be the friend that Yuuri mentioned a week ago. He would make sure that the raven-haired male regretted contacting Viktor despite his warnings. But all in due time.. “Well. To comment on your remark...worrying won't help him get better, will it? It's only bad if we worry too much. Yuuri would only feel like a burden if we do.”  
  
The silver-haired male already despised Ichirou. How could someone be so cold-hearted when their student was in such a dire state? Still, he decided to bite back all the angry remarks that had laid on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to slip. Instead, he turned his attention back to the unconscious skater.  
  
“Alright. Let's take off his skates so it will be easier to transport him.”, Vera said, untying the shoelaces and slowly pulling off the left skate, while the other medic took care of the right.  


As soon as the medic tried to pull on the right skate though, she noticed it wasn't going off easily. She loosened the shoelace and tried again, only to achieve the same result. She ended up completely removing the lace so she could finally remove the skate, revealing a tightly wrapped, swollen foot that looked completely purple with the bruises that covered it. The darkest bruises were around the ankle, so Vera immediately frowned.  
  
“You let him skate with a sprained ankle?!”, she yelled at the brunette, startling her son. Vera never yelled, she barely ever raised her voice above regular speaking volume. “You are aware that he could suffer lasting foot damage from such an injury going untreated, right?”  
  
“Of course I know that! Do you think I'd let him skate if I knew that he was in such pain?”, Ichirou played innocent, hoping that his lie wouldn't be discovered. “He never even told me.”  
  
Viktor shook his head, finally letting his anger out, joining his mother in yelling at the brunette. “He didn't _have_ to tell you! Right from the beginning of his performance, I could see that something was wrong with him. How could you – a person who spends so much time with him – not notice that he was hurting? Did his hurtful expression not tip you off? Or how stiff his movements have become? Are you really _that_ blind?”  
  
The actor had never felt so angry in four years. The last time he wanted to hit someone was the time Yuuri's family had triggered self-deprecating thoughts within Yuuri. How could a coach not notice the condition his student was in when it was so severe? Surely, every step was agonizing for the younger male, so there was no way that he concealed his pain so well that the brunette didn't notice.  
  
“We should cool his ankle immediately, all the while stopping the laceration on his head. Viktor, would you be so kind and call an ambulance? I think it's best to have Yuuri under constant supervision by professionals for the time being.”, the blond woman asked her son in a calm tone, trying to soothe the young actor's mood. Even though her voice got calmer, Viktor could tell she was still pissed.  
  
But her attempt was in vain, seeing as the brunette spoke up again. “As his coach, I don't think that is necessary. He doesn't seem all too bad and after some cooling and some rest, he should be fine.”  
  
Viktor growled dangerously, a low rumble coming from his throat. He was wrong, he has _never_ been this mad. How could someone be so oblivious and careless? But instead of acting out what he really wanted to do (which would be to shut the idiot of a coach up one way or the other), the silver-haired male did what he _needed_ to do and dialed up the ambulance, explaining the situation to them.  
  
Vera was meanwhile cooling the ankle with the compresses that the two sports medics had on standby, to reduce the swelling. Ichirou's comment went completely ignored by the Nikiforovs, like the brunette was thin air to them.  
  
“Didn't you hear? I said that he doesn't need a hospital. I'll be looking after him”, the man repeated, to earn himself a glare from the younger, but much taller Russian actor who just finished his call.  
  
“I heard you loud and clear.”, Viktor said.  
  
“Then-”  
  
The silver-haired male didn't let Ichirou finish “But I don't think you can be trusted. You didn't even see how much Yuuri was suffering. I won't let him suffer like that again while you turn a blind eye.”  
  
“Who the hell do you think you are to decide things like this?”, Ichirou asked, annoyed by how casually Viktor decided over what was his. He was Yuuri's boyfriend. He had the most right to decide what to do. “I'm his boyfriend, so of course I know what's best for him. He hates hospitals ever since what happened four years ago. And if I'm not wrong, it was _your father_ who did this to him. Do you want to destroy him a second time?”  
  
The brunette knew everything. He read Yuuri's medical file when he was visiting his sister and she left it at her work desk. He knew about Yuuri's depression, the rape attempt, the bullying, about his fears and his wishes. But honestly, he didn't care about any of that. Yuuri's picture on the file was the factor that made Ichirou come up to Yuuri and offer him to be his coach. He didn't care about the younger male's fears, he only used them to make the Japanese male more obedient. He fell for the looks of the younger male, the emotional baggage that came with it could be easily disposed of with a few well chosen words.  
  
The Russian actor seemed even more furious now, contrary to what Ichirou had expected. “You are his boyfriend, huh? And you know all about him...probably from your sister. So if you know so much about him, why couldn't you piece together that he was hiding his pain? He is afraid of being a burden to people and you knew it. Why didn't you ask him about what ailed him, why didn't you show your support until he had opened up?”  
  
“I'm no therapist, so how would I know how to-”  
  
“But your sister is one. If you _really_ had cared about Yuuri, you'd ask your sister what to do in a situation like that, how to make him open up about his pain. Or the least you could have done is google it. There are tons of great advice on how to deal with depressed people.”, Viktor said, narrowing his eyes. This person didn't even _try_ to make Yuuri open up about his troubles. “I swear, if Yuuri ends up having lasting foot damage because of you, you'll never get my approval to be anywhere near him, let alone call yourself his boyfriend.”  
  
Before the older Asian male could respond to this in any way, ambulance sirens started blaring just outside the ice palace, meaning it was time to move Yuuri to the hospital. Two people clad in white rushed into the building, carrying a stretcher. They carefully lifted up the young skater and laid him down on the stretcher and with a brief exchange of words between them and the medics in charge of the GPF skaters, Yuuri was carried out. The Nikiforovs followed Yuuri without hesitation, uncaring whether the brunette followed or not.  
  
And honestly, Viktor would rather have it that he _didn't_ follow them. But of course he did, anyway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect it to write itself so well... but Viktor is finally here again!  
> I am honestly too emotionally exhusted to make any further comments on this, haha...


End file.
